On Africa
"No doubt the AK47s will fall silent, the pangas will stop their hacking of human flesh, and the tribal warriors will all break out in watermelon smiles to see the big white chief touch down in his big white British taxpayer-funded bird."
� In 2002, on Tony Blair's visit to the Democratic of Republic of Congo, Daily Telegraph
"Right, let's go and look at some more piccaninnies."
� Reported remark, while visiting Uganda, to Swedish Unicef workers and their black driver, the Observer, 2003
On failing to recognise his Filipina housekeeper
"When our housekeeper appeared on stage in her hot pink strapless number [as a finalist of the Mrs Philippines 2005 contest in London], I failed at first to recognise her, surrounded as she was by 10 other Filipina mums, each shimmering in every shade from fuchsia to Germolene ... Was that Luz, the No 6, the one with the cleavage? Or was she No 5, with the smile? Surely she wasn't No 11, the one with the legs. No: wait - that was her, with her hair up. No 8! 'We want eight,' we screamed, and waved at good old Luz, a woman who has been exposed to the full horror of the Johnson family washing and yet contrived to look little short of $1m.
� The Spectator, 2005
On Islam
"The most viciously sectarian of all religions in its heartlessness towards unbelievers."
� The Spectator, 2005