I Wonder Why This Number Is Rising So...
Politics1 min ago
never meet your heros
153 Answers
I am in a kind of 'never meet your heros situation?'
Everyone thinks my dad is great, funny, kind, hard working. My next door neighbour who recently fell out with her only son, said she wishes he was more like my dad.
But i have to live with him and can't wait to move out. (please noone complain that i'm moaning, you don't have to live with this man)
~He always complains he has no money, yet buys at least £15 of food that is unecessary each week, then wastes half the meat - another ten pound at least, by not using the left overs. Yet he smokes and must spend £15-20 a week on that, so we could save about £50 a week (he tries to give up but he admitted that he doesn't really want to, but says he could easily if he wanted to)
~He is such a fussy eater, its rediculous, and saturday is normally the only night i get to have rice, noodles or pasta, and if i get a big pack of noodles i have a stir fry instead of a proper roast on a sunday. But the rest of the week its potatoes and rarely anything else.
~He took no notice in my school work, and didn't even know what gcse subjects i took, he thought i'd taken art instead of maths! But when i got asked to stay behind for revision, for my up coming exams, he told me off for getting a detention, which it wasn't, but he thought i got it because i weren't paying attention in lessons and needed to catch up.
~My oldest brother is 24 years older than me, and i think he thinks that he can bring me up the same way that he did him and my other siblings, but times have moved on, until i'm eighteen the only boy thats allowed round, is my gay friend, who i've known since we were 8.
So am i living in a never meet your heros situation, and if people had to live with him all of the time, would they feel the ame way about him do you think?
Everyone thinks my dad is great, funny, kind, hard working. My next door neighbour who recently fell out with her only son, said she wishes he was more like my dad.
But i have to live with him and can't wait to move out. (please noone complain that i'm moaning, you don't have to live with this man)
~He always complains he has no money, yet buys at least £15 of food that is unecessary each week, then wastes half the meat - another ten pound at least, by not using the left overs. Yet he smokes and must spend £15-20 a week on that, so we could save about £50 a week (he tries to give up but he admitted that he doesn't really want to, but says he could easily if he wanted to)
~He is such a fussy eater, its rediculous, and saturday is normally the only night i get to have rice, noodles or pasta, and if i get a big pack of noodles i have a stir fry instead of a proper roast on a sunday. But the rest of the week its potatoes and rarely anything else.
~He took no notice in my school work, and didn't even know what gcse subjects i took, he thought i'd taken art instead of maths! But when i got asked to stay behind for revision, for my up coming exams, he told me off for getting a detention, which it wasn't, but he thought i got it because i weren't paying attention in lessons and needed to catch up.
~My oldest brother is 24 years older than me, and i think he thinks that he can bring me up the same way that he did him and my other siblings, but times have moved on, until i'm eighteen the only boy thats allowed round, is my gay friend, who i've known since we were 8.
So am i living in a never meet your heros situation, and if people had to live with him all of the time, would they feel the ame way about him do you think?
Answers
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Mollykins, do you have a freezer in your house? Going right back to the beginning, if you dad is wasting food by cooking too much in the first place, why don't you and your mum just freeze the left-ver food straight away, then get it out again when you want to eat eg pokr chops again. That's only practical, and probably what a lot of us do.
I agree with what's been said though I haven't ploughed through all this as it's starting to get repetitive - you are feeling like a typical teenager, parents don't get things right, and it will pass. Housekeeping's not a doddle, we all have our own bad habits etc and we all do our best.
I agree with what's been said though I haven't ploughed through all this as it's starting to get repetitive - you are feeling like a typical teenager, parents don't get things right, and it will pass. Housekeeping's not a doddle, we all have our own bad habits etc and we all do our best.
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Yeah.....course you have.
The ones that suited what you wanted to hear.
Acknowledge Daffy....and the fact that shes been eating nothing but toast because she can't afford to feed her family. Acknowledge that you are moaning about food to someone who hasn't eaten. Acknowledge that, when reading other peoples hardships that your life isn't that bad.
Take it on board Molly....you've got an easy life. You're just too selfish and self obsessed to realise it...
Acknowledge this post...!!!
The ones that suited what you wanted to hear.
Acknowledge Daffy....and the fact that shes been eating nothing but toast because she can't afford to feed her family. Acknowledge that you are moaning about food to someone who hasn't eaten. Acknowledge that, when reading other peoples hardships that your life isn't that bad.
Take it on board Molly....you've got an easy life. You're just too selfish and self obsessed to realise it...
Acknowledge this post...!!!
It's not easy being a teenager - I'm sure we all know and remember feeling that everyone had it better than us and life was so hard and unfair, and it is only afterwards with better perspective and less self obsession that you realise how people were just trying to do their best by you at the time.
But instead of seeing everything your dad does and says as a negative, try and see the positive in it. He told you that he once did drugs when he was younger and you are now using this against him - instead look at how positive and honest it is that he can tell you that - there are a lot of parents who would not have that sort of discussion.
You complain that he feeds you all the wrong stuff - have you talked to him about this, but also as other people say, he does seem to be trying his best to feed his family well and look after them. Or as other people have suggested, offer to make tea a couple of nights a week - ask if you can have the money to do the shopping for those meals (good experience for when you move out on your own tell them) and convert them to more healthier living,
I know that when things feel bad, it is often no consolation to think well it's worse for other people, but it really is - I work with homeless young people and they would tell stories that I think would help you put your concerns into perspective - and a lot of what you are concerned about (the food) can be fixed by you - eat less of it and exercise more, if you are worried. And maybe, even if you can't get a job, you could look at some voluntary work and get some perspective on life to see that things, as you decribe them, are really not that bad at all.
But instead of seeing everything your dad does and says as a negative, try and see the positive in it. He told you that he once did drugs when he was younger and you are now using this against him - instead look at how positive and honest it is that he can tell you that - there are a lot of parents who would not have that sort of discussion.
You complain that he feeds you all the wrong stuff - have you talked to him about this, but also as other people say, he does seem to be trying his best to feed his family well and look after them. Or as other people have suggested, offer to make tea a couple of nights a week - ask if you can have the money to do the shopping for those meals (good experience for when you move out on your own tell them) and convert them to more healthier living,
I know that when things feel bad, it is often no consolation to think well it's worse for other people, but it really is - I work with homeless young people and they would tell stories that I think would help you put your concerns into perspective - and a lot of what you are concerned about (the food) can be fixed by you - eat less of it and exercise more, if you are worried. And maybe, even if you can't get a job, you could look at some voluntary work and get some perspective on life to see that things, as you decribe them, are really not that bad at all.
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He has brought up a girl before, i said ym oldest brother is 24 years older than me but i also have another brother and sister who are 22 and 20 years older than me.
He won't let us in the kitchen to do stuff because he says that we make everything to healthy for us. And on the odd occaison that i can cook something he then comes along, and without tasting stuff, adds a load of junk like salt and more oil, etc without even tasting it.
Plus he cooks the extra chops etc when we're not there, always sayign that he'll have it tomorrow on a sandwich for lunch or for his tea and we can have rice or pasta but he doesn't.
if you read my post properly i said he TOLD ME ONCE, that he did drugs, and by the way the conversation was going, it sounded like he was on them for a couple of years.
He won't let us in the kitchen to do stuff because he says that we make everything to healthy for us. And on the odd occaison that i can cook something he then comes along, and without tasting stuff, adds a load of junk like salt and more oil, etc without even tasting it.
Plus he cooks the extra chops etc when we're not there, always sayign that he'll have it tomorrow on a sandwich for lunch or for his tea and we can have rice or pasta but he doesn't.
if you read my post properly i said he TOLD ME ONCE, that he did drugs, and by the way the conversation was going, it sounded like he was on them for a couple of years.
Hi Molly,
As said before there is nothing stopping you from eating healthily once your out on your own, unless your expecting to live there for another 20+years? In which case once your contributing to the rent, food etc.. then you should be able to cook your own meals and eat how you like, if you can't then you will have to move out or have a blooming good talk with your Dad and let him know how worried you are.
He certainly sounds like he is stuck in his ways being an older gentlemen and I would imagine his thinking is that he has eaten this way all his life and he's still here.
I would do anything to have my Dad back and have just lost my Aunt who I was close to, so I can see why others are getting angry at how your coming across. Life's too short to be p!ssed at your Dad over how he's always been, you need to take stock at how good you do have it and be thankful that at least you can see the way you eat isn't good for and that you won't carry it on once you have left home. Surely that would be worse?
As said before there is nothing stopping you from eating healthily once your out on your own, unless your expecting to live there for another 20+years? In which case once your contributing to the rent, food etc.. then you should be able to cook your own meals and eat how you like, if you can't then you will have to move out or have a blooming good talk with your Dad and let him know how worried you are.
He certainly sounds like he is stuck in his ways being an older gentlemen and I would imagine his thinking is that he has eaten this way all his life and he's still here.
I would do anything to have my Dad back and have just lost my Aunt who I was close to, so I can see why others are getting angry at how your coming across. Life's too short to be p!ssed at your Dad over how he's always been, you need to take stock at how good you do have it and be thankful that at least you can see the way you eat isn't good for and that you won't carry it on once you have left home. Surely that would be worse?
True, but even when i leave home and have a healthier lifestyle, he's still going to be like that, and i don't want him to be. He'll be retiring in a few years and then he'll have even less money and i don't know how he'd cope with it, but at least he wouldn't have to pay for stuff for me. But then there's my mum aswell. She's a hopeless cook apart from a few things like soup and risotto, but she can't cook the things dad likes so he'll carry on cooking for her, so she won't even get the one or two healthy meals a week that i sometimes cook (but dad doesn't eat, he has steak or lamb).
Your worrying far too much about what if's and maybe's Molly! Your Mum & Dad will be fine once he retires, if moneys tight then he can always get a part time job to top up his pension. You may find he will change his eating habits once moneys tight, he may not have a choice but to do that but then again he may just carry on.
It's fine to be concerned about your dad in this way but if he doesn't want to change then he won't and it's not because he doesn't care about you and your Mum either.
It's fine to be concerned about your dad in this way but if he doesn't want to change then he won't and it's not because he doesn't care about you and your Mum either.
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