forced and arranged marriages

[nailit]

Given the recent media coverage of kids as young as 5 been forced into muslim marriages can anyone tell me, is this practice condoned in the koran or is it a cultural thing?
Also, do people who practice this kind of thing have any sense of love and affection?
I dont want an anti islam thread here, Im just curious as to why anyone would want to marry a 5 year old girl. Im well aware that in years gone by that child marriage existed in the UK. Still cant get my head around it though, just because it once happened here.
Thanks.

[naomi24]

As far as I’m aware, the Koran doesn’t mention a minimum age for marriage. In Islam, for girls the onset of puberty is the defining criteria – regardless of when that might be. However, since Muslims hold Mohammed, who married a 6 year old, consummating the union when the child was 9, in the greatest esteem, some have no objection to children being married earlier – sometimes as babies – and even if the law of the land defines what we in the west might consider a reasonable minimum age, younger children are still married illegally in Islamic ceremonies.

According to Islam, officially both parties must consent to a marriage, and therefore whilst some arranged marriages might be acceptable to the couple involved, to all intents and purposes forced marriage is not allowed. Nevertheless, it happens, because very often young people are not in a position, or are afraid, to defy their parents, and children, even though they may be asked if they consent, again abide by their parents’ wishes, since they are obviously not old enough to make an informed decision.

As for love or affection, personally I see none of either in any of it - and certainly not from the parents.

I hope that answers your question.

[keyplus90]

As for forced marriage, not only its not allowed in Islam but also is considered bad and deplorable. Almost same goes to the marriage of the children and in Pakistan (where I am from originally) it is offence to marry a child as young as 5. But however it goes on and has nothing to do with any religion but culture as there are so many examples from all over the world.

As for arranged marriage, first of all what do people know about arranged marriage? Arranged marriage is where parents and relatives from two families arrange a suitable person according to age, looks, character, education, likes, dislikes and families for compatibly. Still boy and girl are (should be) given an opportunity to see each other and should agree. In my own experience marriages arranged like this last longer as it is a bond between two families and all necessary help and guidance is provided for the young couple. Then it is based on the experience of the people who have done it and been there, instead of just a quick (based entirely upon age related) decision that does not see into the years to come. I will give you my own example. I came from Pakistan and met an English girl here and liked each other. To get permission and blessings of our parents we both asked them. And there you go it became an arranged marriage.

Having said that any marriage arranged by parents and forced upon kids is the most well-known brand of arranged marriage people usually talk here in this country. But again that is completely a cultural thing and is among the people who have come here from very remote villages from back home.

[naomi24]

//it goes on and has nothing to do with any religion but culture//

Muslim culture is determined solely by religion. Its people live by the tenets of Islamic literature, whichever way they choose to interpret it. Therefore it has everything to do with religion.

[DaisyNonna]

Like a few other situations in this country there is media coverage. Many people object to things which are illegal. All talk no action from police or government.

[wildwood]

I don't understand your explanation keyplus. I am happy for you that you have found a suitable mate in england but...

//I came from Pakistan and met an English girl here and liked each other. To get permission and blessings of our parents we both asked them. And there you go it became an arranged marriage. //

surely this can not be described as an arranged marriage!

[naomi24]

^^No, of course it wasn’t an arranged marriage. His parents didn’t know the girl or her family. And before anyone is further misled, just to clarify Keyplus’ statement about marrying 5 year olds off, he has confirmed here previously that marrying girls as soon as they reach puberty is acceptable to him – even if they’re only 9.

[sith123]

arranged basically means getting your parents to agree with your decision or if your parents find a partner you do not have to marry her if you do not want. You get a choice which is what so many atheists do not believe.

yes, in the quran forced marriage is forbidden and is a big sin. Yes, as keyplus says it still goes on but isnt murder a sin, but it still goes on, isnt burglary a sin, but it still goes on. You can ban it, yet some people will still do it and however much you try you cannot stop everyone doing it.

here, read this and this will explain :http://muslim-responses.com/Forced_Marriages
/Forced_Marriages_

[sith123]

http://muslim-respons...ges/Forced_Marriages_

[naomi24]

//arranged basically means getting your parents to agree with your decision//

No it doesn't. It means 'arranged'. Sith, your attempts to support Keyplus in everything he says really are pathetic. Don't you have a mind of your own?

[jake-the-peg]

//Muslim culture is determined solely by religion//

Really??!!

So then you presumably think that Saudi's have the same culture as Turks and Indonesians and Pakistanis

Or would you like to reconsider that?

[sith123]

naomi, youre pathetic.

//arranged basically means getting your parents to agree with your decision or if your parents find a partner you do not have to marry her if you do not want. //

read the whole thing before you start blabbering on.

[naomi24]

Jake, I think you missed a bit.

//Its people live by the tenets of Islamic literature, whichever way they choose to interpret it.//

[sith123]

im supporting him because he believes the same thing as me. i agree with what he believes. is that simple enough for you to understand now?

[naomi24]

Sith, I read the whole thing before I started blabbering on - and the bit I quoted was the bit I disagreed with.

[sith123]

yet did you agree with the rest?

[naomi24]

Sith, //im supporting him because he believes the same thing as me. i agree with what he believes. is that simple enough for you to understand now? //

Actually, I doubt you know what Keyplus believes, but since you say you agree with him, I assume that you also think it's acceptable for girls to be married as soon as they reach puberty - even if they're only 9 years old?

[jake-the-peg]

I don't think that makes that much difference really

I think I know what you're getting at but I think the words "soley determined by" are completely wrong

Heavilly influenced by - yes

Western European cultures are heavilly influenced by secular democracy in the same way but note solely determined by it

[sith123]

also i think the other thread "help for keyplus" was taken down. i was writng and poof, it was gone.

[sith123]

naomi, as you would have said, times have changed. that happened years ago. It still happens, but look at it on a bigger scale. every country has an age limit to get married. so does religion. that does not mean you have to marry a nine year old. does it? Some remote people in remote areas of countries do however go into your so called civilised areas in those countries and you would find almost none.

[ummmm]

Sith, do you also agree with marrying off children as young as 9? Keyplus does!! I've read him say it on more than one occasion!