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Just as you have an agenda to rubbish it all.
You often say I am shaking in my shoes, afraid of death.
You could not be more wrong.
Death is inevitable, and sooner rather than later for me, but I don't fear it.
I only fear leaving things not done for my family.
Other than that, I know what to expect.
In the blink of an eye I will be with my Lord.
I think, rather, that you fear death, and consistently try to reassure yourself that death really is the end.
I feel sorry for you.