Dealing with offensive comments

[SanelyMad]

I was at a barbecue at the weekend and the people at my table started talking about immigration and said some racist things. I was not happy about this but after a couple of minutes they stopped and changed the subject. I have been thinking since how I could cope with the situation if sadly it happens in the future. If they had tried to bring me in to the conversation I would have said I found their comments offensive. If they had been talking for longer I would have got up and left. I was just wondering your views on how to handle the situation.

[violetblue]

I've worked in anti-racist education for over a decade, and unfortunately, unless you're ********* with like-minded people, this sort of ugly incident always crops up. I've tackled it head-on and the only people I usually upset are myself and the host. I try for my own peace of mind to take myself away from the comments when they are at social events and instead, try to work actively promoting anti-racism and multi-culturalism that way.

[Goodsoulette]

IS racism not illegal, or saying racist things? This is a genuine question. I thought discriminating against people for reasons of race wasnt allowed, so surely freedom of speech doesnt apply here. So I think someone is well within their rights to stick up for being against it, the majority of people are not racist, I am sure of it, so be proud and dont just walk away srtick up for what you belive in and be strong, other peole will follow if you lead by example. You can also guve yourself a good pat on the back for not cowering to a bunch of idiots.

[SanelyMad]

Thanks for the replies, it was awkward as a couple of the people talking were the hosts. I am surprised and sad that in a new century people can still have such views, but I can walk away from them and going over your replies I can judge the situation if it happens again and do what seems right at the time.

[Octavius]

Goodsoulette you refer to freedom of speech and it does apply here. As much as we find such comments repugnant, we should surely support equally 'their' right to say it and ours to oppose it?

If you silence one person because of thier views, then you must silence others, including those who oppose them.

[SanelyMad]

I agree with what you say Ocatavius, and I count myself lucky to be living in a country where we can express ourselves freely. I think I will always just let whoever is speaking know that I disagree, then I can walk away if need be knowing I have made my stand quietly. (I have for the first 39 years of life been a bit nervous of speaking out, but life really has in my case begun at 40!)

[violetblue]

I think the answer to how you deal with this question depends on your personality. I'm verbally very inarticulate when angry (for example when provoked by racist comments); I just lose my temper as I'm so upset. I've found that I'm more effective on paper, so I get involved in campaiging work.