Four nuns all line up together in the confessional.
Nun#1: Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. I once touched a man's thingy with my finger.
Priest: For your penance, go dip your finger in the holy water stoop.
Nun#2: Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. I once held a man's thingy in my hand.
Priest: For your penance, go wash your hands in the holy water stoop.
Nun#4: I hate to queue-jump, Father, but do you think I could go and wash my mouth out in the holy water stoop before you make Sister Concepta sit in it?
Will's Wild Woodbines. I lived half a mile from the factory where they were made (closed down long since). Also Capstan Full Strength, Will's Three Castles and the really posh quasi-Turkish ones, Passing Cloud, which were oval in shape rather than round.