Mustn't Kiss The Grannies Or Grandads - Unbelievable!

[carolegif]

The Mail Online (can't do links, sorry), has an article where a Miss (says it all!) Lucy Emmerson has advised parents not to kiss their grandparents as they will be prone to sexual abuse! They should wave or 'high 5' them instead!
You couldn't make it up!

[anotheoldgit]

LazyGun

/// @AoG Your reasoning seems to assume that any adult abuser of the child will be a stranger. Sadly, this is not always the case.It is better for everyone that children are made aware of the risks. ///

And who is left to make them aware, adults, their parents, their teachers, their relegious leaders??????????

Better keep all children well away from all adults then, who knows even their parents may be the dreaded child abuser, but then wait a minute wasn't there a case recently where a child raped another child?

Who can a child turn to these days?

[pixie373]

It's not so much that parents have a problem with their children kissing the grandparents. She is pointing out it is unwise to force a child to kiss someone they don't want to. It's not even a case of children being naive. Force them to kiss grandma, uncle wants kisses, child feels uncomfortable, but has learnt they have to.

[pixie373]

Yes, aog. That's exactly why a child's limits are where THEY feel comfortable and not because an adult says so. And not all adults are child abusers.

[anotheoldgit]

Chewn

/// Sex education chief or a poster on a forum AOG? ///

And your point is?

My point is that it is the reasoning's of one Lucy Emmerson, co-ordinator of the Sex Education Forum that is under discussion here and not the various posters on this forum or any other for that matter.

[LazyGun]

@AoG What? I am not sure what that last post was all about at all.

Once upon a time, when people talked about child sexual abuse at all, the only spectre raised was "stranger danger" - the notion of some shadowy paedophile lurking around, luring kids away on the promise of some sweeties. Unfortunately, that is not the reality. Many kids who are targets for sexual abuse are abused by family members, tragically.

The point that we should not be forcing our kids to administer a peck on the cheek of a visiting relative, simply out of some kind of social convention and desire that aunt mildred or granny not be offended seems fair enough to me.

Much of this outrage seems to be generated from folks who have interpreted Lucy Emmersons comments to mean that and enforced peck on the cheek is the first stage in child sexual abuse - the author is saying nothing of the sort, as best as I can tell.

Children should not be coerced into physical displays of affection simply because a relative wants it, and they should be taught this early. How can anyone possibly object to that?

[rockyracoon]

I agree with what she is saying, I've had friends insist their kids kiss me when they don't want to and I really don't want them to, when I had my own I left it up to them, my daughter is very tactile and will kiss and hug people but my son, not so much, he's really not into public displays of affection. He stopped kissing my bye at the school bus stop when he was 5 even though his friends still kissed their mums :(

Whilst little I remember a friend of my dad's used to come to the house, he used to pick me up and plonk me on his knew and I flipping hated it, always got straight off as he made the hairs on my neck stand on end. Turned out he was a Peeping Tom.

I would never kiss anyone I didn't want to and I certainly wouldn't expect my kids to.

[carolegif]

It has been on itv news. Esther Ranzen is annoyed about it and us going to make a statement later.

[boxtops]

..so instead, the little 'uns grow up thinking that being touchy-feely with people you love is a bad thing. How to grow inhibitions at a young age. What rubbish.

[EcclesCake]

To my mind a child should be allowed to do what is comfortable for them in a safe family environment.

To encourage a child against their will to kiss Granny/Grampa/other relative when the child is not comfortable is wrong IMHO.

[sherrardk]

I don't have any family as such but my children adore my friend. The girls will gladly hug her and kiss her hello and goodbye, the older boys don't and I wouldn't make them. My youngest son will give her a cuddle and kiss if he thinks no one is watching. All kids are different and I encourage mine to do what they are comfortable with.

[Zeuhl]

Does it matter if the 'Grannies or Grandads' are alive or not?

The final goodbye kiss at Granny's funeral used to be quite a tradition.

Is this no longer so?

[sherrardk]

Definitely would not make any child of mine kiss a dead person.

[Zeuhl]

^
most of the time in my experience

[Gromit]

Esther has branched out from Childline to set up SilverLine, a helpline for OAPs.

http://www.thesilverline.org.uk/

[viv38]

I wish I still had my lovely Grandma to give a kiss to.

[Mosaic]

Without trivialising the issue, and actually quite seriously:
"Won't someone please think of the children?"

[Gromit]

Mosaic

That is what the thread is about.