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Berniecuddles2

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Berniecuddles2

Swimming Pool Inflatables!

I've just stolen loads of swimming pool inflatables. I'd better lilo for a while....
18:58 Sun 01st Oct 20172 answers, last by Patsy33 19:32 Sun 01st Oct 2017
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Berniecuddles2

Drunk Husband

A wife was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband's key in the door. "Stay where you are," she said. "He's so drunk he won't even notice you're in bed with me." Sure enough, the husband...
17:07 Sun 01st Oct 20172 answers, last by Patsy33 21:19 Sun 01st Oct 2017
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Berniecuddles2

A Chicken Farmer

A farmer sat down at a local bar and said, "This is a special day, I'm celebrating." "What a coincidence," said the woman next to him. I'm celebrating, too" she replied, clinking glasses with him....
16:56 Sun 01st Oct 20174 answers, last by 1ozzy 05:17 Mon 02nd Oct 2017
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Berniecuddles2

Rodeo Position!

Two cowboys are out on the range talking about their favorite sex position. One says, "I think I enjoy the rodeo position the best." "I don't think I have ever heard of that one," says the other...
09:37 Sun 01st Oct 20174 answers, last by Chipchopper 10:43 Sun 01st Oct 2017
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Berniecuddles2

Wedding!

Just got in from a wedding During the night My mate's Mrs was dancing on a table "Good legs" I said "Do you really think so?"she said "Yes, most other tables would've collapsed under that weight."...
23:00 Sat 30th Sep 20173 answers, last by bookbinder 12:21 Sun 01st Oct 2017
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Berniecuddles2

My Wife!

Gawd the wife's in a right mood! Someone has stolen her pair of knickers off the washing line ...she's not bothered about her knickers she just wants the 12 pegs back!!...
10:18 Sat 30th Sep 20179 answers, last by Berniecuddles2 11:01 Sat 30th Sep 2017
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Berniecuddles2

Mil !

The Mother-In-Law’s drowning, I've informed Emergency Services. I hope they save her or it’s a waste of a first class stamp. My wife asked me what funeral we should have for her mother. Burial or...
08:05 Sat 30th Sep 201713 answers, last by DTCwordfan 18:18 Sat 30th Sep 2017
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Berniecuddles2

New Fridge!

Got the wife a new fridge today as a surprise , her face lit up when she opened it
19:11 Fri 29th Sep 20174 answers, last by Chipchopper 21:43 Fri 29th Sep 2017
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Berniecuddles2

You've Never Looked Sexier!

"Black really is slimming on you, you've never looked sexier" I assured the missus "Turn the light back on you ***!" she replied...
18:55 Fri 29th Sep 20173 answers, last by Patsy33 19:37 Fri 29th Sep 2017
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Berniecuddles2

Winning The Lottery!

Two Thai girls asked me if I wanted to sleep with them both. They said it’d be like winning the lottery. They were right – we had six matching balls....
12:49 Fri 29th Sep 20174 answers, last by LIFI 11:09 Fri 15th Jun 2018
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Berniecuddles2

Growing Tomatoes!

A beautiful woman loves gardening, but can't seem to get her tomatoes to turn red. She asks her neighbour, "What do you do to get your tomatoes red?" He replies, "Twice a day I stand in front of my...
10:44 Fri 29th Sep 201713 answers, last by Patsy33 12:24 Fri 29th Sep 2017
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Berniecuddles2

Two Women!

I was sitting in a bar one day and two really large women came in, talking in an interesting accent. So I said, “Cool accent, are you two ladies from Ireland?” One of them snarled at me, “It’s...
05:04 Fri 29th Sep 20173 answers, last by Patsy33 08:54 Fri 29th Sep 2017
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Berniecuddles2

Great Suprise!

I slowly walked up to the sales lady in the clothing store “I would like to buy my wife a pretty pink lingerie set ” “How cute” exclaimed the sales lady, “sounds like it’s going to be a...
20:28 Thu 28th Sep 201711 answers, last by Patsy33 09:02 Fri 29th Sep 2017
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Berniecuddles2

A Blonde Buying Curtains!

“A blonde girl enters a store that sells curtains. She tells the salesman, "I would like to buy a pink curtain in the size of my computer screen." The surprised salesman replies, "But, madam,...
12:57 Thu 28th Sep 20173 answers, last by Patsy33 13:15 Thu 28th Sep 2017
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Berniecuddles2

Fishing For Whisky!

“Poor Old fool,” I thought to myself as i watched an old man fish in a puddle outside the pub. So i invited the old man inside for a drink. As we sipped our whiskeys, i thought I'd humour the old...
10:48 Thu 28th Sep 20176 answers, last by davegosling 21:31 Thu 28th Sep 2017
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Berniecuddles2

At The Brothel!

So last night I go down to the local brothel I asked to see yu tug mi a blind Chinese girl she's good you have to hand it to her! She said ahhh bernie you have big penis...I said your pulling my leg!...
06:13 Thu 28th Sep 20172 answers, last by marval 21:21 Thu 28th Sep 2017
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Berniecuddles2

Fetishes!

My sexual fetishes have slowly been getting more perverse. It wasn't until I smacked a statues bum that I realised I had hit rock bottom....
18:43 Wed 27th Sep 20177 answers, last by Shaglene 11:09 Thu 28th Sep 2017
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Berniecuddles2

Golf Lesson!

A husband and wife love to golf together, but neither of them are playing like they want to, so they decide to take private lessons.The husband has his lesson first. After the pro sees his swing, he...
11:15 Wed 27th Sep 20175 answers, last by zebo 14:36 Wed 27th Sep 2017
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Berniecuddles2

Dyson Cars...

If I purchased one of those new electric Dyson cars... Would I finally be able to pick up girls?...
07:55 Wed 27th Sep 201710 answers, last by Patsy33 12:14 Wed 27th Sep 2017
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Berniecuddles2

A Blonde Went To The Dentist!

At the dentist! “I want you to paint my teeth blue” – said the blonde. “What!?” – exclaimed the dentist. “Just do it!!” – said the blonde. So the dentist painted her teeth blue. The...
06:19 Wed 27th Sep 20178 answers, last by marval 17:13 Wed 27th Sep 2017

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