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Berniecuddles2

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Berniecuddles2

At The Doctor’S!

Doctor.."well bernie your cough seems a lot better this morning"! "It should be' I said "I've been practising all ***g night"!!...
12:15 Fri 15th Sep 2017
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Berniecuddles2

Bald Men!

Just wondering if bald men have hair raising experiences?
12:10 Fri 15th Sep 20176 answers, last by Berniecuddles2 12:32 Fri 15th Sep 2017
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Berniecuddles2

Multitasking !

My wife told me women are better at multitasking than men. So I told her to sit down and shut up. Guess what... She couldn't do either!...
09:58 Fri 15th Sep 201713 answers, last by Patsy33 12:29 Fri 15th Sep 2017
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Berniecuddles2

Christmas Slogan!

At the local hospital management decided to do a "best Christmas slogan competition " between the different clinics...gynaecology won with.."Christmas a great time to look up your old friends"!...
05:32 Fri 15th Sep 201710 answers, last by marval 15:00 Fri 15th Sep 2017
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Berniecuddles2

My Psychiatrist!

I told my psychiatrist, “Every time I get into bed, I think there’s somebody under it.” “Come to me three times a week for two years, and I’ll cure your fears,” says the shrink. “And...
05:27 Fri 15th Sep 20179 answers, last by Berniecuddles2 08:41 Fri 15th Sep 2017
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Berniecuddles2

Looking At My Wife!

I was looking at my wife: no teeth in, boobs on her belly, hair a mess and smoking a roll up. Then she cocked her leg and let out a massive fart. "You are a mess and I'm disgusted with you," I said....
14:04 Thu 14th Sep 20171 answer, last by Patsy33 14:43 Thu 14th Sep 2017
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Berniecuddles2

A Mate's Wedding

I went to a mate's wedding and I whispered to a bloke next to me "isn't the bride a right ugly cow". "Do you mind? That's my daughter you're talking about" "I'm really sorry, I didn't know you were...
11:38 Thu 14th Sep 201713 answers, last by Patsy33 13:19 Thu 14th Sep 2017
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Berniecuddles2

Screwdriver

Anyone on here Called Phillips? I've found your screwdriver
11:30 Thu 14th Sep 20175 answers, last by Patsy33 15:55 Thu 14th Sep 2017
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Berniecuddles2

The Lone Ranger

What does the Lone Ranger say when he takes out the garbage? To the dump, to the dump, to the dump dump dump....
09:16 Thu 14th Sep 201723 answers, last by marval 20:03 Thu 14th Sep 2017
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Berniecuddles2

My Dog!!

Taught my dog to play the trumpet on the London Underground today. We went from Barking to Tooting in about an hour....
06:09 Thu 14th Sep 201711 answers, last by Berniecuddles2 10:39 Thu 14th Sep 2017
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Berniecuddles2

007

Just got home and found my dog eating my James Bond DVD collection. So I beat The Living Daylights out of him....
06:07 Thu 14th Sep 201725 answers, last by Berniecuddles2 10:19 Thu 14th Sep 2017
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Berniecuddles2

Finding Chocolate!

After finding 3 Mars bars, 2 Twix, some M & M’s and a Milky Way, I’ve realised that I’m not cut out to be a Bounty hunter....
15:46 Wed 13th Sep 201766 answers, last by Tilly2 21:04 Wed 13th Sep 2017
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Berniecuddles2

Fao Buenchico

I must apologise for my outburst very unlike me ...wont happen again ...shall stick to the joke section at least it's fun there once again apologies...
12:56 Wed 13th Sep 201732 answers, last by pixie374 15:47 Wed 13th Sep 2017
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Berniecuddles2

King Arthur’S Round Table

So, King Arthur’s round table was built by Sir Cumference and the floor was laid by… Sir Ramic-Tile....
09:25 Wed 13th Sep 201724 answers, last by Patsy33 18:18 Wed 13th Sep 2017
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Berniecuddles2

Old Folks Home

I visited a dear old friend in an old people's home whilst waiting for him to come down I spoke to a very old gentleman who told me in the 1st world war he survived a mustard gas attack...and much...
06:30 Wed 13th Sep 201711 answers, last by Hopkirk 19:50 Wed 13th Sep 2017
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Berniecuddles2

Pizza!

I burnt my Hawaiian pizza last night! Should have put it on aloha setting!...
06:15 Wed 13th Sep 20174 answers, last by Garaman 15:41 Wed 13th Sep 2017
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Berniecuddles2

Mil!

"It's times like these I wish we lived abroad," I said to my wife, staring out of the front window. "Yeah, the weathers terrible isn't it?" She replied. "Not the weather," I said. "Your mother's...
20:16 Tue 12th Sep 20174 answers, last by albaqwerty 07:02 Wed 13th Sep 2017
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Berniecuddles2

Pocket Money!

When I was a kid my dad used to let me put my pocket money in a special money box under the stairs. I was 15 before I found out it was the electric meter grrr!...
16:39 Tue 12th Sep 20175 answers, last by Hopkirk 16:55 Wed 13th Sep 2017
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Berniecuddles2

Lovely Lady

Can anyone remember the name of a lovely lady who used to be on here but had to stop using the answerbank due to failing eyesight problems...I'm guessing 2-3 years ago?...
09:56 Tue 12th Sep 201714 answers, last by marval 14:44 Tue 12th Sep 2017
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Berniecuddles2

Another Diet!

My wife is on a tropical food diet, the house is full of the stuff. It's enough to make a mango crazy....
05:36 Tue 12th Sep 201719 answers, last by vargasjamesx 15:26 Tue 26th Sep 2017

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