Chipchopper Member Profile in The AnswerBank

The Wino...

The drunken wino was stumbling down the street with one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter. A copper pulled up and said, "I've got to take you in, sir. You're obviously drunk" The wasted wino...

theparrots

Laurel Hedge Dying

Sir my Laurel hedge has started to die off,it is twenty years old and has been kept clipped down to five feet in height,last summer i saw ons plant start to turn yellow then brown this is now running...

tearinghair

New Garden Pond

I've finally managed to remove an old, damaged, pond (plastic, I think) from the garden. We want to replace it with another one, as we have a number of frogs who will be expecting to find some water...

DSJ

So What's Blooming In Your Garden?

We have cowslips & primroses blooming in our garden today, 6th January, but no snowdrops yet. So what's blooming in your garden?...

excelsior-1

I Was Lucky To Get My Job ......

..... in the funeral parlour, as i gather that the profession is a dying art still, at least it was a good way to urn a living...

marval

Passing Gas

There was once a very prim and proper older lady who had a problem with passing gas. Since she came from a generation when people didn't even talk about this kind of problem it took a long time for...

frugalfred

I Was Sacked As A Vicar....

I now have a surplus surplice for sale. Unisex - hymns or hers.

joeluke

Mother-In-Law

As the mother-in-law tucked into dinner at our place, she noticed our dog at her feet wagging his tail. "Oh bless, is he pleased to see me?" she giggled. "No, don't mind him" I said. "It's because...

Agent_Stelios

Help With Finding The Correct Word

Can anyone help me with identifying a word that means: when the focus is diverted from an issue of major significance to a more trivial issue to mask the fact that the main issue is more serious. The...

starone

Just A Few Thoughts, Some Old, Some New.

Answering machine message, "I am not available right now, But thank you for caring enough to call. I am making some changes in my life. Please leave a message after the beep. If I do not return your...

julia-mag

Rabbits In The Wild

Its finally stoped raining here, after days and days of the wretched stuff, and many fields are under water, rivers overflowing etc etc. What has happened to all the rabbits that lived in those fields...

McMouse

Something For The Weekend

My sister-in-law sat on my glasses and broke them. It was my own fault. I should have taken them off.

Mrgaret

Animals And Nature

A bur-reed related to the sedge family beginning with the letter U

E.R.

Removing Labels From Jam Jars

What would remove the sticky residue from jam jars .I've tried nail varnish remover, methylated spirits even a brillo pad ?

muchlovex

Plants Which Like Alot Of Water?

The soil in my borders are in need of a few plants. I am wondering as the soil is quite waterlogged are there any plants who like alot of water. Thanks...

boxtops

Camouflaged Wildlife!

These are amazing! http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2253701/Invisible-animals-These-Incredible-images-animals-doing-disappearing-act-predators-near.html?ICO=most_read_module...

princerupe74

Dog Nail Clipping Problem

my dog can't stand having his nails clipped. I only have to approach him with the clippers in my hand and he runs a mile. His nails are getting too long now. How do I clip them? No way I'm paying a...

Chipchopper

As Dead As Mutton......

Sure, I know what it means but why 'Mutton' ?

sunflower68

Which Plants To Buy?

Hello. I need to pick your gardening brains. My mum would like some pretty or unusual climbing plants or shrubbery to go in front of a new fence she is getting. She is replacing old fence and having...