excelsior-1 Member Profile in The AnswerBank

Dusk.

I am going to bed soon. I love lying, dozing in the dwindling daylight. I find it very soporific and soothing. Lovely. Goodnight all. xx...

murraymints

Nighty Night

after a day of terrible lappe problems..I wish all my fellow AB ers a peaceful night....special wishes to our friend Carpy xx...

trt

My Apologies That Some Of You May

have thought I was trying to be clever with two usernames, but it wasn't intentional. My laptop problems started about 10 days ago, when I had an e-mail from my Niece, and when opened it was a...

coffeeboy

Pub

Went into a pub last night and asked for a pint as the bar man gave it to me I said with what I've got I shouldn't drink this he said what have you got I said 50p.

queenofmean

Whats Cooking

in your kitchen this fine Evening? For me its Beef in a peppercorn sauce with Minted New Potatoes and Peas and Pear and Pecan tart for afters

maggiebee

A man with a winking problem is applying for a position as a sales representative for a large firm. The interviewer looks over his papers and says, "This is phenomenal. You've graduated from the best...

maggiebee

Pay Rise?

A successful man, working as a sales representative in a large company, tells his boss one day: If you want me to continue working for you, I need a 20% raise. You have 24 hours to give me an answer....

gness

Overheard Conversations Can Be Fun.......

...or not. I inherited a two foot wide gravel path along the front of my house which I have finally changed.... I shifted and bagged the gravel....dug....sanded....leveled....and was on my knees...

queenofmean

I Had An Idea

Wasn't too sure where to put this, if it belongs somewhere else Ed please feel free to move it to its appropriate home. As most of you know I am a diabetic and about 11 years ago I started on the road...

gness

How To Confuse....

....a lady with a history of loo problems.... I went to a party at the weekend....in a cricket club. Long journey so I headed straight for the loo...through the door which had two large cardboard...

excelsior-1

Well, That Was The First Day - - -

- - - at the new job a very organised and professional company...

Rtaxron

Humans Ch4 Last Night.....

I was looking forward to this at first, then it started to get very confusing for me, and dont think I will bother following it. Was it just me?...

breadstick

Lucky People

Do you believe in luck do you believe some people are naturally more lucky than others? i know there is a case for saying you make your own luck by working hard etc but i know of people who never get...

marval

I Am Getting

I am getting no sleep. I live next to the Slazenger factory. They make such a racket....

DTCwordfan

Donald Duck

Donald Duck and Minnie Mouse were up in a hotel room and decided that they wanted to have sex. Well, the first thing Minnie asks is, "Do you have a condom?" Donald says, "No." Minnie tells Donald that...

Quoi

Car Problems

I was having trouble with my car so I took it to my local garage. It was too big a job for them because my harmoniser was shot and the feng shui needed balancing they said I needed a specialist...

MrMartell

Indian Curry Bohemian Rhapsody!!

Indian Curry Rhapsody (Tune - Bohemian Rhapsody - what else?) Mama just killed a naan, Poppadom against his head, Had lime pickles now he's dead, Mama, dinner's just begun, But now I'm gonna throw it...

murraymints

Ghost Hunting

OH has just told me he has tickets to go with the Most Haunted Team to the secret bunker in Fife....I am quite excited..will either laugh myself to death or pee my pants..it is quite a scary place in...

fudgestaffie

Fancy Dress

Hubby went to a fancy dress party last night, he went as a loaf of bread - he was dead chuffed when he came home, said the BIRDS were all over him!!!!

wills0

Joke

two parrots sitting on a perch ... one says to other "can you smell fish"??...

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