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The police came to my front door last night

holding a picture of my wife. They said, "Is this your wife, sir?" Shocked, I answered, "Yes." They said, "I'm afraid it looks like she's been hit by a bus." I said,...
17:50 Fri 29th Apr 20118 answers, last by EDDIE51 23:28 Fri 29th Apr 2011
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tHE cAB dRIVER.

One rainy night, a taxi driver spotted an arm waving from the shadows of an alley halfway down the block. Even before he rolled to a stop at the curb, a figure leaped into the cab and slammed the...
21:07 Sat 26th Mar 2011
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How do you turn a Duck into a soul singer?

Put it in the oven until it's Bill Withers!
20:33 Mon 21st Mar 20113 answers, last by ChuckFickens 16:24 Thu 24th Mar 2011
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Just a note to my Fans!

Hello i must tell you that i shall be away on tour for the next week, If I am in a club near you please come along and enjoy yourselves, you may have heard some of the jokes before (this isn't...
14:21 Wed 09th Mar 201118 answers, last by NazNomad 05:12 Thu 10th Mar 2011
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My Sat Nav is playing up.

Now all roads do lead to Rome..
15:06 Tue 08th Mar 20113 answers, last by douglas9401 19:26 Tue 08th Mar 2011
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Caveman jokes never worked:

"Knock! Knock!" "Come in, it's open."...
15:04 Tue 08th Mar 20112 answers, last by NazNomad 15:04 Tue 08th Mar 2011
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My mates just given me a packet of Ultravox crisps.

They taste like 'nothing to me'
15:02 Tue 08th Mar 20112 answers, last by Arksided 15:22 Tue 08th Mar 2011
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I walk past a camping site today.

Sorry, that should be past tense.
15:01 Tue 08th Mar 20113 answers, last by NazNomad 15:05 Tue 08th Mar 2011
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You cant get funnier than real life..

A man has been driving all night and he is exhausted, so he pulls in to a park to get a sleep in his car. He is just ready to get to sleep when his window gets knocked and a jogger is standing and...
20:06 Mon 07th Mar 20112 answers, last by alavahalf 20:10 Mon 07th Mar 2011
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Lost in the desert for three days, a man suddenly hears, "Mush!"

Looking up, he sees what he thinks is a mirage: an Eskimo on a sled, driving a team of huskies. To his surprise, the sledge comes to a stop at his feet seconds later. "I don't know why you're...
19:57 Mon 07th Mar 20112 answers, last by DTcrosswordfan 19:59 Mon 07th Mar 2011
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This really ugly woman goes to see her doctor,

severely depressed and suicidal. "Doc, I can't stand it any more," she says. "No-one will look at me, touch me or kiss me. Can you help me at all?" she asks. The doctor replies,...
19:50 Mon 07th Mar 20114 answers, last by DTcrosswordfan 19:58 Mon 07th Mar 2011
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I like to keep my jokes Original.

Werther's you like it or not.
19:46 Mon 07th Mar 20114 answers, last by DaisyNonna 23:58 Mon 07th Mar 2011
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I persuaded my girlfriend to smuggle my coke

through customs by sticking it up her ar*e. I didn't know I could buy another can in the departure lounge....
19:40 Mon 07th Mar 20113 answers, last by craft1948 19:44 Mon 07th Mar 2011
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The word "Mufti" in the Army?

I recently heard the word Mufti used by an old soldier and wondered what it means and where it came from. Thx
13:39 Mon 07th Mar 20114 answers, last by joggerjayne 13:46 Mon 07th Mar 2011
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I can't write jokes, but a friend of mine gave me a foolproof formula.

He said "Start with a natural set-up, lead the audience in one direction, then hit them with a punch line they weren't expecting." So here goes: Walk forwards. Turn left. Pasteurisation...
19:15 Sun 06th Mar 20119 answers, last by JDOvengloves 00:09 Mon 07th Mar 2011
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Blonde humour isn't everyone's plate of tea

...
19:11 Sun 06th Mar 20117 answers, last by DTcrosswordfan 20:06 Sun 06th Mar 2011
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I've booked an appointment with my tailor to shorten the length of my trousers.

I hope he turns up.
19:08 Sun 06th Mar 20111 answer, last by joeluke 19:09 Sun 06th Mar 2011
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The wife was having a go at me.

"Life's just one big joke to you isn't it". "I don't know what you mean. Sit down luv and let's talk about it". That's when I pulled her chair away....
19:03 Sun 06th Mar 20111 answer, last by sara3 19:04 Sun 06th Mar 2011
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You learn something new everday.

unless its history.
18:54 Sun 06th Mar 20111 answer, last by Groupie 18:58 Sun 06th Mar 2011
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John Galliano sacked for Anti-Semitic joke?

...
12:03 Sun 06th Mar 20118 answers, last by bazwillrun 15:12 Sun 06th Mar 2011

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