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Hopkirk

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Hopkirk
What did the drummer name his twin daughters? Anna one, Anna two...
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Hopkirk
My boss told me to have a good day, so I went home.
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Hopkirk
Chelsea. Got it for a knock down price....
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Hopkirk
When my wife is feeling low I let her colour in my tattoos. She just needs a shoulder to crayon....
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Hopkirk
At a job interview the manager said he was looking for a responsible person. I told him that in my last job, whenever things went wrong, they told me I was responsible....
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Hopkirk
I am inspired by Barsel's dishwasher question. Do you have 'rules' for how you load the dishwasher cutlery basket? Do all your family follow the same policy, or us it a cause for discord?...
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Hopkirk
I have a terrible fear of speed bumps, but I'm slowly getting over it.
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Hopkirk
A friend of mine always wanted to be run over by a steam train. When it happened, he was chuffed to bits!...
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Hopkirk
I met this bloke with a didgeridoo and he was playing Dancing Queen on it. I thought, that's aboriginal....
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Hopkirk
Uncle Ben has died. No more Mr Rice Guy...
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Hopkirk
So this bloke says to me, "Can I come in your house and talk about your carpets?" I thought "That's all I need, a Je-hoover's witness...
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Hopkirk
I was wondering why the frisbee kept looking bigger and bigger, and then it hit me
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Hopkirk
My friend said "cheer up, you could be in a hole in the ground full of water" I know he means well....
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Hopkirk
What do you call a factory that makes OK products? A satisfactory...
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Hopkirk
Have you heard about the new corduroy pillows? They are making headlines....
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Hopkirk
I heard there is a new shop called Moderation. They have everything in there...
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Hopkirk
Michael Jackson is proof that Andrew has done exactly the right thing. Many people still don't think Jacko was a vile paedophile, simply because he paid off his accusers. The fact he was never found...
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Hopkirk
At least it's comfortable traveling on Eurostar. It's murder on the Orient Express....
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Hopkirk
My high school bully still takes my lunch money. But on the upside, he makes great fries...
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Hopkirk
What's the best thing about Switzerland? I don't know, but the flag is a big plus....

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