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Hopkirk

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Hopkirk
The residents of Dubai do not enjoy watching "The Flintstones", but the people of Abu Dhabi do....
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Hopkirk
Mountains aren't funny. They're hill areas....
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Hopkirk
What do you call a beehive without an exit? Unbelievable....
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Hopkirk
Someone has glued my pack of cards together. I don't know how to deal with it....
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Hopkirk
My drug test came back negative. My dealer sure has some explaining to do....
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Hopkirk
If you rearrange the letters of 'postmen', they get really *** off.
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Hopkirk
Why did Will Smith use an open hand slap instead of a punch? Because paper beats rock....
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Hopkirk
What's on Chris Rock's face? Fresh prints....
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Hopkirk
It's inappropriate to make a 'dad joke' if you're not a dad. It's a faux pa....
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Hopkirk
Can I view a company's Facebook page without having an account? I have never done FB, and don't want to create an account....
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Hopkirk
I saw this advert in a window that said "TV for sale £1. Volume stuck on full." I thought " I can't turn that down"....
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Hopkirk
I had a neck brace fitted years ago and I've never looked back since.
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Hopkirk
I identify sexually as a microwave dinner. I'm ready in five minutes, look nothing like my photo, and I'm just satisfying enough for you to want me again when you are desperate....
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Hopkirk
I found a wooden shoe in my toilet today. It was clogged.
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Hopkirk
How are you supposed to operate these? In particular the ones with a large button and a small one. Press and hold or press and release? Both together? They have been appearing in more and more places,...
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Hopkirk
I lost my job at the bank on my first day. A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
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Hopkirk
I had a dream last night that I was cutting carrots with the Grim Reaper – dicing with death....
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Hopkirk
I accidentally handed my wife a glue stick instead of chapstick. She still isn’t talking to me....
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Hopkirk
The person who invented autocorrect should burn in hello.
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Hopkirk
The problem with kleptomaniacs is that they always take things literally.

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