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Hopkirk

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Hopkirk

Dad Joke Of The Day

For his 80th birthday, the old boy's mates clubbed together to get him a prostitute. She asked them "does he want sex or super sex?" The old boy pipes up "I'll have soup please"...
06:55 Sun 24th Apr 20227 answers, last by Chipchopper 12:38 Sun 24th Apr 2022
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Hopkirk

Dad Joke Of The Day

“Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet service to see who they really are.” —Will Ferrell...
08:52 Sat 23rd Apr 20227 answers, last by mallyh 10:39 Sat 23rd Apr 2022
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Hopkirk

Dad Joke Of The Day

It takes guts to be an organ donor.
05:39 Fri 22nd Apr 202219 answers, last by Patsy33 10:13 Fri 22nd Apr 2022
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Hopkirk

Dad Joke Of The Day

I visited the local office of the RSPCA yesterday. It's tiny. You couldn't swing a cat in there....
07:34 Thu 21st Apr 20226 answers, last by Hopkirk 14:34 Thu 21st Apr 2022
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Hopkirk

Dad Joke Of The Day

Did you hear about the man who fell into an upholstery machine? He's fully recovered....
07:12 Wed 20th Apr 20228 answers, last by Patsy33 12:20 Wed 20th Apr 2022
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Hopkirk

Dad Joke Of The Day

I entered ten puns in a contest to see which would win. No pun in ten did....
07:09 Tue 19th Apr 202211 answers, last by Chipchopper 10:06 Tue 19th Apr 2022
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Hopkirk

Good Parenting

Can I please confirm I am correct in a point? Too much chocolate isn't good for children. A responsible parent will quietly reduce the amount of chocolate in the house, by surreptitiously consuming...
12:36 Mon 18th Apr 202216 answers, last by Hopkirk 10:15 Tue 19th Apr 2022
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Hopkirk

Dad Joke Of The Day

People used to get agitated if you talked about cosmetic treatments. Now you can talk about Botox and nobody raises an eyebrow....
07:21 Mon 18th Apr 20225 answers, last by Patsy33 18:11 Mon 18th Apr 2022
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Hopkirk

Dad Joke Of The Day

Did you hear about the Italian chef who died? He pasta way!
07:00 Sun 17th Apr 202218 answers, last by emmie 08:08 Sun 17th Apr 2022
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Hopkirk

Dad Joke Of The Day

I gave away all my used batteries today. Free of charge!
06:30 Sat 16th Apr 202216 answers, last by Patsy33 12:09 Sat 16th Apr 2022
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Hopkirk

Dad Joke Of The Day

I ran into Arnold Schwarzenegger yesterday. I asked him what his favourite Christian festival is, and he said "Has to be Easter, baby"...
04:56 Fri 15th Apr 20224 answers, last by emmie 06:46 Fri 15th Apr 2022
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Hopkirk

Dad Joke Of The Day

BNAG - that's bang out of order.
06:43 Thu 14th Apr 20225 answers, last by Hopkirk 07:08 Thu 14th Apr 2022
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Hopkirk

Dad Joke Of The Day

A friend of mine has a butler whose left arm is missing. Serves him right....
06:38 Wed 13th Apr 20229 answers, last by DTCwordfan 17:27 Wed 13th Apr 2022
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Hopkirk

Quote Of The Day

There is a remote tribe that worships the number zero. Is nothing sacred? Les Dawson...
07:09 Tue 12th Apr 2022
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Hopkirk

Dad Joke Of The Day

I only know 25 letters of the alphabet. I don't know why....
06:25 Tue 12th Apr 20223 answers, last by Chipchopper 07:07 Tue 12th Apr 2022
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Hopkirk

Dad Joke Of The Day

What do you call a belt made of watches? A waist of time....
04:02 Mon 11th Apr 202210 answers, last by Bazile 18:38 Mon 11th Apr 2022
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Hopkirk

Quote Of The Day

"I still enjoy sex at 68. Well I live at number 66 it's no distance." - Bob Monkhouse...
03:10 Mon 11th Apr 2022
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Hopkirk

End Of An Era

Not a question, just a nostalgic observation. When I change my car in May, it will take away the last option I have to play CDs....
10:21 Sun 10th Apr 202229 answers, last by youngmafbog 16:51 Mon 11th Apr 2022
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Hopkirk

Quote Of The Day

“You know you’ve reached middle age when you’re cautioned to slow down by your doctor, instead of by the police.” —Joan Rivers...
08:30 Sun 10th Apr 20224 answers, last by Hopkirk 09:08 Sun 10th Apr 2022
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Hopkirk

Dad Joke Of The Day

The residents of Dubai do not enjoy watching "The Flintstones", but the people of Abu Dhabi do....
07:02 Sat 09th Apr 202211 answers, last by 1ozzy 07:52 Sat 09th Apr 2022

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