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Hopkirk

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Hopkirk

Dad Joke Of The Day

I returned my lizard to the pet shop today as it wouldn't stop telling me jokes. The store assistant said "that isn't a lizard, it is a stand up chameleon."...
07:25 Sun 12th Jun 202210 answers, last by Patsy33 11:17 Sun 12th Jun 2022
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Hopkirk

Dad Joke Of The Day

Man "My wife is pregnant and her contractions are two minutes apart" Doctor "Is this her first child?" Man "No you idiot, I'm her husband!"...
06:09 Sat 11th Jun 20228 answers, last by Patsy33 08:52 Sat 11th Jun 2022
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Hopkirk

Dad Joke Of The Day

Does an apple a day keep the doctor away? Only if you aim it well enough....
06:22 Fri 10th Jun 20227 answers, last by Patsy33 11:42 Fri 10th Jun 2022
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Hopkirk

Dad Joke Of The Day

I just lost my job as a landscape gardener. They said I was a little rough around the hedges....
06:39 Thu 09th Jun 202213 answers, last by 1ozzy 05:29 Fri 10th Jun 2022
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Hopkirk

Dad Joke Of The Day

A man goes to the doctors and says "Doctor, I think I'm going deaf" The doc says "Can you describe the symptoms?" The man replies "Yes, Homer is yellow and fat, and Marge has blue hair"...
05:53 Wed 08th Jun 202215 answers, last by Patsy33 08:22 Wed 08th Jun 2022
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Hopkirk

Dad Joke Of The Day

Doctor: Quick, he's losing a lot of blood. He needs a transfusion. What's his blood type? Nurse: B positive Doctor: I'm trying, but he's lost a lot of blood....
06:08 Tue 07th Jun 20229 answers, last by Arksided 14:44 Tue 07th Jun 2022
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Hopkirk

Dad Joke Of The Day

I played hide and seek in the hospital, but they kept finding me in the ICU.
06:04 Mon 06th Jun 20224 answers, last by mallyh 10:29 Mon 06th Jun 2022
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Hopkirk

Dad Joke Of The Day

When I left home my Mum said don't forget to write. I thought that's unlikely, it's a basic skill isn't it?...
05:57 Sun 05th Jun 20224 answers, last by Patsy33 08:32 Sun 05th Jun 2022
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Hopkirk

Next Jubilee

What will the 75th jubilee be called? Is it diamond?
21:39 Sat 04th Jun 202217 answers, last by Hopkirk 11:04 Sun 05th Jun 2022
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Hopkirk

Dad Joke Of The Day

I have a chicken proof lawn. It's impeckable....
05:38 Sat 04th Jun 202226 answers, last by Chipchopper 05:39 Sun 05th Jun 2022
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Hopkirk

Dad Joke Of The Day

My mate said to me "Can you tell me what you call someone from Corsica?" I said "Cors-i-can!"....
06:05 Fri 03rd Jun 202217 answers, last by zebo 17:49 Fri 03rd Jun 2022
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Hopkirk

Bearskins

Surely it's time we stopped putting dead animals on our soldiers heads.
10:52 Thu 02nd Jun 202218 answers, last by Canary42 13:43 Thu 02nd Jun 2022
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Hopkirk

Dad Joke Of The Day

What is another name for an owl's beak? Who knows?...
06:32 Thu 02nd Jun 20224 answers, last by Chipchopper 04:54 Fri 03rd Jun 2022
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Hopkirk

Dad Joke Of The Day

What do you call a monkey in a minefield? A baboom....
06:13 Wed 01st Jun 20226 answers, last by Patsy33 09:30 Wed 01st Jun 2022
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Hopkirk

Dad Joke Of The Day

I was listening to a friend describing a grizzly who had identical twin cubs. I thought 'that bears repeating'....
06:47 Tue 31st May 20226 answers, last by Hopkirk 13:00 Tue 31st May 2022
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Hopkirk

Dad Joke Of The Day

My mate has broken the world record for getting the largest number of pigeons to land on him. The guy's a ledge....
05:37 Mon 30th May 20226 answers, last by Patsy33 11:07 Mon 30th May 2022
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Hopkirk

Chain Saws

On a chain saw, does the chain move backwards and forwards or is it a circle like a bicycle chain?
06:25 Sun 29th May 202220 answers, last by dustypuss 13:49 Mon 30th May 2022
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Hopkirk

Dad Joke Of The Day

Have you tried Korean dumplings? They really are the dogs boiiocks....
05:49 Sun 29th May 20227 answers, last by Chipchopper 05:55 Mon 30th May 2022
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Hopkirk

Dad Joke Of The Day

I once worked for a lift company. The job had its ups and downs....
06:22 Sat 28th May 202212 answers, last by mallyh 10:43 Sat 28th May 2022
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Hopkirk

Dad Joke Of The Day

I worked as a barber for a while, but I just couldn't cut it.
05:38 Fri 27th May 202216 answers, last by Ellipsis 10:52 Fri 27th May 2022

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