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Hopkirk

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Hopkirk

Dad Joke Of The Day

I used to be a programmer for autocorrect, but they fried me for no raisin.
07:16 Tue 28th Jun 20227 answers, last by 1ozzy 07:41 Tue 28th Jun 2022
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Hopkirk

Dad Joke Of The Day

A friend of mine went for an interview with an airline in Helsinki ten years ago, and he hasn't been seen since. He vanished into Finnair....
06:17 Mon 27th Jun 202212 answers, last by Chipchopper 08:53 Mon 27th Jun 2022
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Hopkirk

Dad Joke Of The Day

Two wind turbines standing in a field near Glastonbury. One says "What sort of music do you like?" The other replies "I'm a huge metal fan"....
08:49 Sun 26th Jun 20222 answers, last by Spicerack 08:58 Sun 26th Jun 2022
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Hopkirk

Dad Joke Of The Day

My mate has a new girlfriend, who works on the bin lorries. The trouble is he can never remember if he's taking her out on Wednesday or Thursday....
07:50 Sat 25th Jun 20227 answers, last by Patsy33 12:02 Sat 25th Jun 2022
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Hopkirk

Dad Joke Of The Day

A furniture store keeps calling me. All I wanted was a one night stand....
07:04 Fri 24th Jun 20229 answers, last by Smowball 09:34 Fri 24th Jun 2022
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Hopkirk

I'm Happy 3

Son finally gets his PhD graduation ceremony next week after covid postponed it...
16:22 Thu 23rd Jun 202213 answers, last by murraymints 17:48 Fri 24th Jun 2022
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Hopkirk

Dad Joke Of The Day

A man goes to a funeral and asks the widow "Do you mind if I say a word?" The widow replies "Please do" "Bargain" he says. She says "Thanks, that means a great deal"...
06:59 Thu 23rd Jun 202211 answers, last by Ken4155 17:39 Fri 24th Jun 2022
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Hopkirk

Dad Joke Of The Day

My cat has just eaten three mallards. He's a duck filled fatty puss....
06:47 Wed 22nd Jun 202213 answers, last by Patsy33 10:26 Wed 22nd Jun 2022
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Hopkirk

Dad Joke Of The Day

Some people say filling animals with helium is wrong. I say whatever floats your goat....
06:44 Tue 21st Jun 202217 answers, last by zebo 20:47 Tue 21st Jun 2022
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Hopkirk

Dad Joke Of The Day

I had to steal something to stir my pancake batter with. It's a whisk I was willing to take....
07:08 Mon 20th Jun 20229 answers, last by mallyh 09:07 Mon 20th Jun 2022
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Hopkirk

Dad Joke Of The Day

I caught my son chewing an electrical cable, so I had to ground him. He's doing better currently, and conducting himself properly.
08:25 Sun 19th Jun 20227 answers, last by Bazile 15:54 Sun 19th Jun 2022
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Hopkirk

Dad Joke Of The Day

The man who invented Strepsils has died. Apparently there will be no coffin at his funeral....
07:34 Sat 18th Jun 20227 answers, last by Hopkirk 16:38 Sat 18th Jun 2022
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Hopkirk

Imagine

You wake up tomorrow morning and AB is shut down. Forever. How would it affect you?...
00:21 Sat 18th Jun 202246 answers, last by Tilly2 19:58 Sat 18th Jun 2022
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Hopkirk

Dad Joke Of The Day

I remember as a kid, my father got sacked from his job as a road worker for theft. I refused to believe he could do such a thing, but when I got home the signs were all there.
07:03 Fri 17th Jun 202212 answers, last by Spicerack 17:15 Fri 17th Jun 2022
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Hopkirk

Dad Joke Of The Day

Today I saw a dwarf climbing down the prison wall. I thought that's a little condescending....
06:47 Thu 16th Jun 20223 answers, last by Chipchopper 05:51 Fri 17th Jun 2022
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Hopkirk

Dad Joke Of The Day

What did Jay-Z call his wife before he married her? Feyonce...
06:40 Wed 15th Jun 20228 answers, last by Arksided 12:40 Wed 15th Jun 2022
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Hopkirk

Bbc News Studio

What have they done? Terrible....
22:33 Tue 14th Jun 20227 answers, last by jno 02:16 Wed 15th Jun 2022
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Hopkirk

Dad Joke Of The Day

My wife said she would leave if I didn't get treatment for my obsession with Neil Diamond. "I am" I said....
06:41 Tue 14th Jun 202223 answers, last by LochNessMonster 06:57 Thu 16th Jun 2022
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Hopkirk

Dad Joke Of The Day

It's a 5 minute walk from my house to the pub It's a 35 minute walk from the pub to my house The difference is staggering....
06:27 Mon 13th Jun 20226 answers, last by Canary42 11:53 Mon 13th Jun 2022
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Hopkirk

Dad Joke Of The Day

I returned my lizard to the pet shop today as it wouldn't stop telling me jokes. The store assistant said "that isn't a lizard, it is a stand up chameleon."...
08:25 Sun 12th Jun 202210 answers, last by Patsy33 12:17 Sun 12th Jun 2022

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