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Hymie

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Hymie

Menopause

A Glaswegian took his wife to the local A&E, she had two black-eyes and a broken arm. The doctor asked ‘What had happened to her?’ The husband replied that ‘She was going through the change.’...
07:05 Sat 26th Jul 20145 answers, last by cupid04 15:37 Sat 26th Jul 2014
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Hymie

Wonga

8% - Annual interest Wonga will repay customers wrongly charged as a result of fake legal letters it sent them, along with £50 compensation for ‘distress and inconvenience’ 5,853% - Annual...
16:56 Wed 09th Jul 20142 answers, last by ll_billym 12:49 Sun 13th Jul 2014
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Hymie

Norman Tebitt

This morning on the Andrew Marr show, Normal Tebitt said that ‘the culture at the time was to protect the establishment’ – referring to a possible cover-up of child sex abuse during the 1980s....
20:26 Sun 06th Jul 201427 answers, last by askyourgran 22:37 Mon 07th Jul 2014
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Hymie

Fire Fighting

My father used to say ‘Always fight fire with fire.’ I think that’s why he was thrown out of the fire brigade....
22:44 Sat 08th Feb 2014
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Hymie

Jehovah’S Witness

Two well dressed young men knocked at my door earlier this evening and asked if I’d be become a Jehovah’s Witness. I replied that I hadn’t seen the accident....
21:21 Sat 01st Feb 2014
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Hymie

Virgin Media Anti-Virus Alert

All those using Virgin Media as their Internet Provider should have received notification that the internet security included within your bill, will cease at the end of this year. So you will need to...
20:48 Sun 08th Dec 20133 answers, last by anotheoldgit 10:30 Mon 09th Dec 2013
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Hymie

Post Office Queues

Never get behind the Devil in a post office. The Devil can take many forms....
22:19 Tue 29th Oct 20134 answers, last by excelsior-1 10:44 Wed 30th Oct 2013
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Hymie

Feeling Unwell

I went to see my doctor today and he said, ‘You’ve got hypochondria.’ I said, ‘Not that as well!’...
20:14 Mon 28th Oct 2013
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Hymie

Foreskin

The useless piece of flesh at the end of a penis is called a man. (Jo Brand)...
22:05 Sun 27th Oct 2013
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Hymie

Home Insurance

I bitched about this last year – but no harm repeating myself; if reading this could save you £30+ Received my house insurance (buildings & contents) renewal notification at approx £110. Just...
21:09 Sat 24th Aug 201311 answers, last by fourteen85 06:59 Mon 16th Sep 2013
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Hymie

New Bathroom/kitchen

Mrs Hymie would like a new bathroom & kitchen. I have obtained a number of quotes – the price for a bathroom suite and required kitchen units etc seem very reasonable (we plan to keep the current...
15:54 Sun 19th May 20137 answers, last by Hymie 18:58 Mon 20th May 2013
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Hymie

The world is ending on 21 December 2012

Many believe that the world will end on the above date, because the ancient Mayan calendar runs out on this date. Surely it is going to end on the 31 December 2012, because my £ shop calendar...
22:27 Sat 17th Nov 201256 answers, last by birdie1971 00:32 Thu 22nd Nov 2012
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Hymie

Gary Glitter Arrest

I know that there are already a couple of posts on this topic – but what I want to know is how come camera crews from a number of media organisations were outside his Chelsea address to record...
21:47 Sun 28th Oct 201225 answers, last by Duncer 22:31 Sun 28th Oct 2012
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Hymie

One for the kids returning to school

Q: What is green and smells like yellow paint? A: Green paint....
09:50 Sun 02nd Sep 20121 answer, last by piggynose 10:12 Sun 02nd Sep 2012
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Hymie

Champion

Q: What do Arsenal and a three-pin plug have in common? > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > A: They are both useless in Europe....
20:32 Tue 03rd Jul 201212 answers, last by Grandma_Yiddo 20:23 Wed 04th Jul 2012
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Hymie

Suicide

A blonde woman decided to commit suicide by hanging herself from a tree in the local park. A few days later, a man walking his dog spotted her hanging from the tree. He asks her what she is doing and...
17:31 Fri 29th Jun 20124 answers, last by Starbuckone 18:42 Fri 29th Jun 2012
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Hymie

Red V5

More than 2 years since I posted this:- http://www.theanswerb...g/Question857540.html DVLA seem to be taking some action – today I received a Red V5 document for my vehicle (with instructions to...
16:59 Fri 29th Jun 20121 answer, last by Nibble 12:50 Sat 30th Jun 2012
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Hymie

Mans' best friend

I spilt spot remover on my dog…….....now he’s gone.
21:20 Thu 28th Jun 20125 answers, last by marval 22:31 Thu 28th Jun 2012
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Hymie

Bestiality

A man walks into the bedroom with a sheep under his arm - his wife is lying in bed reading a book. The man says "This is the pig I have sex with when you've got a headache." His wife looks...
20:11 Tue 26th Jun 20122 answers, last by tenrec 16:08 Wed 27th Jun 2012
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Hymie

Lord of the flies

A woman walks into the living room where her husband is busy killing flies with a swatter, "any luck?" she asks. "A bit" he replies, "I've killed three males and two...
16:52 Mon 25th Jun 20124 answers, last by tenrec 17:48 Mon 25th Jun 2012

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