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Hymie

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Hymie

A Change in wind direction

Seeing one of the children making faces at others in the playground, Ms Smith went over to offer friendly advice to the child. Smiling sweetly, she bent down and said, ‘Johnny, when I was a...
21:45 Sun 18th Dec 20112 answers, last by marval 22:28 Sun 18th Dec 2011
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Hymie

A man walks into a bar

‘Can I have a pint of Less, please?’ he asks. ‘I’m sorry sir’ the barman replies, looking slightly puzzled. ‘I’ve not come across that one before – it...
17:45 Sun 18th Dec 20112 answers, last by NogelTheViking 17:47 Sun 18th Dec 2011
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Hymie

Satisfying your wife (in bed)

A young man explained to his doctor that he had not been able to satisfy his wife in bed for many months, which was causing a strain in their marriage. His doctor sent him along to see a big black man...
17:45 Sat 17th Dec 201113 answers, last by maggiebee 00:11 Sun 18th Dec 2011
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Hymie

Yet another Blonde Joke

A ventriloquist was mid-way through his act (which was going down well with the audience), when he started on ‘blonde jokes’ material. Within a short while, a blond woman in the audience...
18:57 Wed 14th Dec 2011
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Hymie

What is a Shih Tzu?

A zoo with no animals.
22:09 Mon 03rd Oct 20118 answers, last by Starbuckone 23:51 Mon 03rd Oct 2011
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Hymie

Frog – part 2

An old woman is walking along the road when she happens upon a frog. ‘Excuse me, Miss’, says the frog. ‘If you give me a kiss I’ll turn into a George Clooney look-alike and...
19:15 Wed 07th Sep 2011
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Hymie

Divorce Court

Judge: ‘Mr. Smith, I’m awarding your ex wife £2,000 a month in maintenance.’ Mr. Smith: ‘Thank you, that’s very generous of you – as her ex husband,...
23:01 Fri 26th Aug 20111 answer, last by Count-A-Strong 10:07 Sat 27th Aug 2011
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Hymie

From where are the Libyan rebels getting their arms?

Watching the images of the conflict in Libya, I was wondering from precisely where are the rebels obtaining their arms. These arms include sophisticated rocket launch systems (admittedly mounted on a...
21:28 Fri 26th Aug 201114 answers, last by keyplus90 10:35 Sun 28th Aug 2011
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Hymie

Country Girl

A young girl was pulling a cow along a country lane, using a rope. A passer-by, seeing that she was struggling to control the beast, asked where she was going with the animal. The young girl replied...
21:07 Sun 21st Aug 20112 answers, last by wildwood 01:05 Mon 22nd Aug 2011
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Hymie

Is it possible for a man to make a fool of himself and not Know?

Not if he has a wife.
19:39 Sat 20th Aug 2011
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Hymie

The Naked Truth

Last night, standing naked in the bedroom in front of a full-length mirror – admiring my manhood; I said to my other half ‘Two inches more and I’d be a King.’ She retorted...
20:25 Wed 17th Aug 20113 answers, last by DTcrosswordfan 20:32 Wed 17th Aug 2011
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Hymie

A cautionary tale for all teenage daughters

Daughter: ‘Mum, did you ever have sex when you were my age?’ Mother: ‘Unfortunately I did – and let that be a lesson to you.’ Daughter: ‘Why, what happened?’...
21:28 Tue 16th Aug 20112 answers, last by sallabananas 13:24 Thu 18th Aug 2011
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Hymie

Dating Advice

♂ - ‘My friend fancies you.’ ♀ - ‘Well, just keep your friend in his underpants, out of trouble.’...
21:00 Tue 16th Aug 2011
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Hymie

Two People On A Crowded Train

A young woman boarded a crowded train and asked a man sitting down whether she could have his seat because she was pregnant. Being a gentleman, the man obliged immediately and gave her his seat. After...
22:05 Mon 15th Aug 20111 answer, last by To-Ryscum 22:07 Mon 15th Aug 2011
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Hymie

The Male Orgasm

How do you know when a man’s had an orgasm? He’s snoring....
21:18 Mon 15th Aug 201110 answers, last by venator 23:54 Mon 15th Aug 2011
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Hymie

Robbing Bastards

http://www.dailymail....st-shoppers-270m.html Besides insurance companies crying in their beer at inflation busting premium increases, year on year – this is the other perennial news story that...
17:49 Thu 11th Aug 2011
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Hymie

The Pirates of Penzance

Two pirates, who had not seen each other for some time, met up in The Black Spot pub. Since they had last met – one pirate had lost his right hand and was wearing a patch over his left eye. The...
21:31 Wed 10th Aug 20112 answers, last by RATTER15 22:05 Wed 10th Aug 2011
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Hymie

Japanese Visitor

Today, returning from lunch with a colleague visiting from Japan – a small group of female staff were standing around the entrance to the office, taking a cigarette break. Observing the group of...
21:38 Mon 08th Aug 20111 answer, last by boxtops 07:14 Tue 09th Aug 2011
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Hymie

Convenience Store Sign

In God We Trust – All others pay cash.
20:45 Mon 01st Aug 2011
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Hymie

Alcohol – bad for your health

‘Alcohol is a dreadful thing,’ said Bob. ‘It’s bad for the health – do you know it killed my first wife?’ ‘No, how dreadful it must have been,’ said...
20:12 Thu 28th Jul 20111 answer, last by marval 22:17 Thu 28th Jul 2011

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