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Hymie

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Hymie

The Guinness Book of Records

Sleeping beauty, Tom Thumb and Quasimodo were all talking one day. Sleeping Beauty said "I believe myself to be the most beautiful girl in the world" Tom Thumb said "I must be the...
21:42 Sun 24th Jun 20122 answers, last by marval 22:21 Sun 24th Jun 2012
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Hymie

Connection

Q: What do Kermit the frog, Rupert Bear and Henry VIII have in common? > > > > > > > > > > > > > > A: They all share the same middle name....
15:43 Sun 24th Jun 20122 answers, last by tenrec 15:45 Sun 24th Jun 2012
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Hymie

Flying with BA

My last holiday was terrible, I flew with BA. He just kept shouting "You crazy Fool, I aint getting on no plane!"...
09:49 Sun 24th Jun 201210 answers, last by JonnyBoy12 17:54 Mon 30th Jul 2012
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Hymie

Chinese Cuisine

Q: What do you call a Chinese girl with a food mixer on her head? A: Blenda....
18:38 Sat 23rd Jun 20126 answers, last by weecalf 07:50 Sun 24th Jun 2012
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Hymie

Drinking Yoghurt

I went out last night and drank eleven pints of yoghurt, when I woke up this morning I was mullered.
14:07 Sat 23rd Jun 20125 answers, last by chaptazbru 16:33 Sat 23rd Jun 2012
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Hymie

Recommend a film

Not being a cinema goer or much of a TV watcher – I have taken to watching DVD films purchased from my local trade in store. I would estimate that they have on display around 5,000 titles...
20:57 Sat 16th Jun 201232 answers, last by em10 16:43 Sat 23rd Jun 2012
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Hymie

Chris Hulne – ‘Perverting the course of justice’

I see that his former wife is to use the defence of ‘marital coercion’ as her defence in this case. Basically claiming that she did indeed pervert the course of justice (by taking her then...
08:55 Mon 04th Jun 20128 answers, last by HowardKennitby 22:27 Mon 04th Jun 2012
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Hymie

Derby fire claims six young lives – suspected arson

This sad story should serve as a wake-up call to all of you that still do not have smoke alarms fitted within your dwelling – they will even protect (your life) against arson. Available from...
18:30 Mon 14th May 20127 answers, last by anotheoldgit 10:43 Tue 15th May 2012
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Hymie

About Schmidt – Starring Jack Nicholson

I watched the DVD today; the cover reviews included:- ‘Hilarious’ – Total Film 'Terrific. A very funny movie’ – Daily Mail ‘A masterpiece, Nicholson gives one of...
12:26 Mon 09th Apr 20126 answers, last by erin-x 12:45 Sat 14th Apr 2012
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Hymie

More Private Eye Number Crunching

40,000 – Predicted job loses as a result of Lloyds TSB takeover of Halifax Bank of Scotland, which the bank dismissed in 2008 as ‘ridiculous’. 43,000 – Job losses which have...
07:58 Sat 24th Mar 2012
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Hymie

Private Eye – Number Crunching

3 – Number of horses that died during the filming of HBO series Luck, causing its cancellation. 5 – Number of horses that died during Cheltenham Festival last week, causing it to carry on...
21:53 Fri 23rd Mar 20122 answers, last by Lillymoon 00:07 Mon 26th Mar 2012
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Hymie

Ryan Giggs named as a fair footballer

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-17114875 Is this like being named footballer of the year?...
17:50 Tue 21st Feb 20122 answers, last by Hymie 18:36 Wed 22nd Feb 2012
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Hymie

Monkey Puzzle – a monkey that can count

This is now quite old – but it keeps re-appearing every once in a while on main stream TV. A monkey is shown a display screen with single digit numbers at various locations on the screen, the...
19:50 Wed 08th Feb 201224 answers, last by Cattlegate 17:59 Wed 15th Feb 2012
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Hymie

What was the total number of animals reported stolen?

A farmer in County Wicklow calls the local police to report that he has had 2,033 pigs stolen from his farm. What was the total number of animals reported stolen? Scroll down for the answer:- >...
21:02 Sun 05th Feb 20121 answer, last by boxtops 21:03 Sun 05th Feb 2012
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Hymie

Road Traffic Accident

George and Michael were driving back after a night out at a local gay bar. While stopped at a red light, a truck ran into the back of their car, causing considerable damage. George immediately says to...
20:45 Sun 05th Feb 20122 answers, last by marval 22:23 Sun 05th Feb 2012
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Hymie

Overheard in the pub last night

1st Man; ‘You know, Don, every night my wife plasters her face with cream and puts her hair in curlers.’ 2nd Man: ‘Does it do any good?’ 1st Man: ‘No, not really –...
21:24 Thu 26th Jan 2012
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Hymie

Necrophilia

While out walking through his fields, a French farmer spotted a young couple making love in the open air. On closer inspection of the lovers, he noticed that the woman was dead. Having overcome his...
20:14 Wed 18th Jan 20123 answers, last by Jemisa 20:20 Wed 18th Jan 2012
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Hymie

Weight watchers points

If you do oral sex, does it count against your weight watchers points?
20:58 Mon 16th Jan 20129 answers, last by Avatar 11:59 Tue 17th Jan 2012
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Hymie

Imminent Tax deadlines to watch out for…

31 January 2012: Deadline for individual UK taxpayers to submit 2010/11 tax returns and pay up, on pain of penalties. 31 July 2015: Deadline for Vodafone (profits: £10bn a year) to pay up on the...
21:52 Wed 11th Jan 2012
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Hymie

Beast-feeding in public is simply wrong

I object to the way most women breast-feed in public. Invariably the baby’s head obscures your view....
20:14 Tue 10th Jan 20121 answer, last by B00 20:14 Tue 10th Jan 2012

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