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Hymie

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Hymie

One For The Cricket Fans

Q: What is it that Christopher Jordan (England – right arm medium fast bowler) holds in his hands, to significantly increase the chances that the next ball bowled, will result in the fall of a...
18:29 Fri 19th Dec 2014
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Hymie

Captain’S Log

The first-mate on a ship decided to celebrate his birthday a bit too much with a night on the town, where the ship had docked. The following morning he was still drunk; realising this, the captain...
16:40 Sat 13th Dec 20143 answers, last by EDDIE51 23:35 Sat 13th Dec 2014
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Hymie

Private Eye – Dumb Britain

(Pressure Pad, BBC1) Barrowman: The two categories to choose from are 19th-century novels or Crufts. Contestant: I’ll be honest with you – I don’t even know what Crufts are, I’ll have to go...
22:02 Thu 11th Dec 20145 answers, last by jno 20:23 Sat 13th Dec 2014
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Hymie

Code Breaking

One day, a French spy received a coded message from a British MI6 agent – it read S370HSSV-0773H. Unable to decipher the message, he sent it to his superior who was equally stumped as to its...
15:52 Thu 11th Dec 20143 answers, last by marval 18:08 Thu 11th Dec 2014
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Hymie

Who Gets Saved?

Q: The Spice Girls, the Pussycat Dolls, Peter Andre and One Direction are all on a ship in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean, when it starts to sink – who gets saved? A: The world of music....
15:01 Sat 06th Dec 20147 answers, last by weecalf 19:46 Tue 09th Dec 2014
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Hymie

The Circus Comes To Town

Q: How do you kill an entire circus at once? A: Go for the Jugguler....
23:09 Tue 02nd Dec 20146 answers, last by janbee 06:22 Wed 03rd Dec 2014
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Hymie

Sir Alex Ferguson

Sir Alex Ferguson is a guest of honour at the Miss World Contest. During the interval, the judges and contestants are mingling over drinks when Sir Alex is approached by the voluptuous Miss Venezuela....
18:59 Tue 02nd Dec 20141 answer, last by janbee 06:21 Wed 03rd Dec 2014
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Hymie

Breaking News

Thieves broke into the trophy room at the Emirates Stadium last night and took everything. Police in the Highbury area are on the lookout for two men carrying a roll of red carpet....
10:06 Tue 02nd Dec 20143 answers, last by weecalf 10:11 Tue 02nd Dec 2014
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Hymie

Facebook

One of my friends on Facebook has died….I’ll never see his ‘like’ again....
12:12 Sat 15th Nov 20149 answers, last by Trevilino 20:45 Mon 17th Nov 2014
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Hymie

Topiary

Displeased with the head-gardener, the lady of the manor called him into the study to point out the error in his work. Looking out at the expanse of the estate and the grand ornate gardens fronting...
19:07 Fri 07th Nov 20146 answers, last by tonyav 00:02 Sat 08th Nov 2014
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Hymie

Private Eye Number Crunching

£10,000,000,000 - Amount the NHS will spend on Private Finance Initiative contracts over the next five years. 0 – Number of times Private Finance Initiatives are mentioned in the NHS five-year...
18:58 Wed 29th Oct 20148 answers, last by buildersmate 10:44 Thu 30th Oct 2014
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Hymie

Superintendent Lying At The Hillsborough Inquest

[Read this ASAP, as all my previous posts critical of South Yorkshire Police have been promptly removed] Although it might have been a genuine mistake – if so, I would have expected the Beeb to have...
20:55 Wed 22nd Oct 20143 answers, last by mikey4444 07:28 Thu 23rd Oct 2014
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Hymie

New York Climate Change Summit

Further to my recent post concerning Mr. DiCaprio being appointed as a United Nations representative on climate change (http://www.theanswerbank.co.uk/News/Question1366982.html), I can report on his...
17:27 Sun 28th Sep 20143 answers, last by youngmafbog 08:38 Mon 29th Sep 2014
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Hymie

United Nations Representative On Climate Change

I see from the news that Mr. DiCaprio has been appointed as a United Nations representative on climate change. The hiatus on global warming aside; can we now assume that as representative in this...
18:38 Sun 21st Sep 20145 answers, last by Svejk 13:23 Mon 22nd Sep 2014
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Hymie

Overflowing Modern Toilet Cistern

Within the last year I have had a new bathroom-suite installed. Already the toilet cistern is overflowing (cheap modern ***). Rather than expelling the excess water out through the overflow pipe –...
20:03 Sun 07th Sep 20146 answers, last by Hymie 22:30 Mon 08th Sep 2014
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Hymie

Private Eye Number Crunching

130,000 New house builds started in the UK last year, greeted by the government as evidence that ‘the long-term economic plan to improve the housing market is working’ 300,000 New house builds...
19:32 Wed 03rd Sep 20149 answers, last by zebo 23:16 Wed 03rd Sep 2014
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Hymie

Private Eye – Yobs

Judge: Do you have anything to say before I pass sentence? Yob: Yes, give me another chance your honour. Judge: …and what would you do with that chance? Yob: I’d kill the ***....
11:37 Sat 26th Jul 20142 answers, last by tonyav 11:46 Sat 26th Jul 2014
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Hymie

Menopause

A Glaswegian took his wife to the local A&E, she had two black-eyes and a broken arm. The doctor asked ‘What had happened to her?’ The husband replied that ‘She was going through the change.’...
08:05 Sat 26th Jul 20145 answers, last by cupid04 16:37 Sat 26th Jul 2014

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