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Hymie

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Hymie

Comedian At Old Folks Home

Last night I had a gig telling jokes at an old folk’s home. Bless them, they didn’t get any of my jokes – but they still p!ssed themselves....
08:33 Sun 02nd Jul 201711 answers, last by -Talbot- 18:29 Tue 04th Jul 2017
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Hymie

Mooning

Why is it called mooning, when you're actually showing Uranus?
16:53 Sat 01st Jul 20172 answers, last by DTCwordfan 18:57 Sat 01st Jul 2017
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Hymie

Euromillions

I hate to be a pessimist, but I’m starting to think I might never win the EuroMillions jackpot....
20:26 Fri 30th Jun 2017
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Hymie

Life

Spoiler alert: You die in the end....
20:29 Thu 29th Jun 20173 answers, last by Patsy33 12:35 Fri 30th Jun 2017
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Hymie

Winning Streak

We had a team-building competition at work today – and I won....
18:54 Wed 28th Jun 2017
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Hymie

Competition Winner

I entered a competition at my local supermarket and won a year’s supply of Marmite – One jar....
19:02 Tue 27th Jun 20175 answers, last by DTCwordfan 20:52 Tue 27th Jun 2017
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Hymie

Google

If you want to find out which companies have been abusing their market position, just go to Google and….it’s them. http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-40418197...
18:55 Tue 27th Jun 20173 answers, last by ducksie 19:27 Tue 27th Jun 2017
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Hymie

Naughty Doctor Sqad Ii

Dr. Sqad had heard that women are attracted to men who treat them badly. So when a gorgeous woman attended his surgery with a swollen ankle, he gave her cough medicine.
22:17 Mon 26th Jun 20171 answer, last by Hopkirk 04:32 Tue 27th Jun 2017
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Hymie

Cat Fight

‘Leave it, she’s not worth it.’ - L’Oreal model advises a colleague not to fight....
19:18 Mon 26th Jun 20175 answers, last by Patsy33 19:56 Mon 26th Jun 2017
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Hymie

What Is The Difference Between A Girlfriend And A Wife?

Answer: About 20 kg
20:12 Sun 25th Jun 2017
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Hymie

Gamblers Anonymous/gamble Aware

I think gambling addiction hot lines would do much better if every fifth caller was a winner.
20:48 Sat 24th Jun 2017
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Hymie

Great Idea For A Tv Show

Parents are shown a table holding all the money they’ve ever spent on their child. They then get to choose the money or the child....
20:26 Wed 21st Jun 201713 answers, last by albaqwerty 21:02 Fri 23rd Jun 2017
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Hymie

419 Scams

It’s awful how just a few conmen ruined it for the many Nigerian lottery winners who really want to give money to complete strangers....
20:38 Tue 20th Jun 20174 answers, last by murraymints 10:16 Wed 21st Jun 2017
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Hymie

Blind Date

I went on a blind date last night ‘I like men who are honest’ she said, ‘What about you?’ I said ‘I like women who can give good blow jobs.’...
18:11 Tue 20th Jun 2017
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Hymie

Looking Forward To Tonight In Bed

My girlfriend is well pumped up for sex tonight……..I might have to pump her up some more, I think she’s got a slow puncture....
18:24 Mon 19th Jun 20179 answers, last by Hopkirk 10:13 Tue 20th Jun 2017
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Hymie

Talk-Talk

All my wife does is rabbit, rabbit, rabbit – it’s costing me a fortune in batteries....
21:37 Sun 18th Jun 20174 answers, last by Shaglene 15:09 Mon 19th Jun 2017
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Hymie

Inner-Self

I got in touch with my inner-self today. That’s the last time I buy Tesco value range toilet roll....
19:46 Sun 18th Jun 201713 answers, last by Patsy33 21:10 Sun 18th Jun 2017
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Hymie

Family Butchers

The local family butchers have been in business since 1872, so if I ever decide that my family needs butchering, I’ll probably use them....
09:16 Sun 18th Jun 2017
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Hymie

Corner Shop

I called into my local corner shop this afternoon – and bought four corners....
22:04 Sat 17th Jun 20177 answers, last by Caribeing 22:39 Sat 17th Jun 2017

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