Donate SIGN UP

Hymie

701 to 720 of 919

First Previous 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 Next Last

Avatar Image
Hymie

One For The School Kids On Holiday

Q: What is orange and sounds like a parrot A: a carrot...
19:57 Fri 21st Jul 2017
Avatar Image
Hymie

The Smell Of Success

Success is like a fart – it only bothers people when it is not their own....
19:32 Thu 20th Jul 20171 answer, last by Shaglene 11:05 Fri 21st Jul 2017
Avatar Image
Hymie

No Job Satisfaction

The stress levels are so high amongst my work colleagues that employee turn over is now at an all time high. Things are so bad; today I noticed that even the office copier/printer wants out –...
19:31 Wed 19th Jul 2017
Avatar Image
Hymie

Helpful Advice

I stopped a guy in the street and said ‘Can you help me, I’m looking for a rubbish tip.’ He replied ‘Arsenal to win the premiership.’...
19:37 Tue 18th Jul 20176 answers, last by DTCwordfan 15:25 Thu 20th Jul 2017
Avatar Image
Hymie

Latin

You have to question the modus operandi of people who use Latin for no reason.
20:30 Mon 17th Jul 201711 answers, last by jim360 08:43 Tue 18th Jul 2017
Avatar Image
Hymie

Riddle Me This

Q: I have two heads, six eyes and twelve legs – what am I?...
20:25 Sun 16th Jul 201712 answers, last by Quoi 11:25 Tue 18th Jul 2017
Avatar Image
Hymie

Murder Detective

It’s always the one you least suspect – that was why I was sacked from my job as murder detective....
19:33 Sun 16th Jul 2017
Avatar Image
Hymie

The Lord Helps Those Who Help Themselves

When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realised that the Lord does not work that way, so I stole a bike and asked for him to forgive me....
14:09 Sat 15th Jul 20171 answer, last by Patsy33 15:00 Sat 15th Jul 2017
Avatar Image
Hymie

Fortune-Teller

I went to a fortune-teller last week. She studied my palm and said ‘You’ve been masturbating.’ I said ‘Hey, you’re good – can you tell me anything about my future?’ She looked at my face...
20:02 Fri 14th Jul 20174 answers, last by DTCwordfan 20:18 Fri 14th Jul 2017
Avatar Image
Hymie

Father & Son

‘Dad, do you like being married?’ ‘Sure son, without a wife I would never know how to do things the right way and I’d still be afraid of dying.’...
18:15 Thu 13th Jul 20171 answer, last by douglas9401 18:17 Thu 13th Jul 2017
Avatar Image
Hymie

World Debt

The world is over £170 trillion in debt – just exactly which planet do we owe it to?...
17:12 Wed 12th Jul 20175 answers, last by lankeela 09:49 Thu 13th Jul 2017
Avatar Image
Hymie

No I In Team

The next time one of your work colleagues announces that ‘There is no I in team’, counter this by saying ‘But there are three in narcissistic’....
20:13 Tue 11th Jul 20176 answers, last by cath16 14:11 Sun 30th Jul 2017
Avatar Image
Hymie

Life Insurance

My wife and I took out life insurance policies on each other today – so now it’s just a waiting game....
18:02 Mon 10th Jul 2017
Avatar Image
Hymie

Odd One Out

Q: Which is the odd one out; Lobster, Crab, Tuna, a Chinese man run over by a buss? A: Tuna, all the others are crustaceans...
17:51 Sun 09th Jul 20171 answer, last by maggiebee 18:44 Sun 09th Jul 2017
Avatar Image
Hymie

Sexual Prowess

Any of my lady companions can confirm that I’m a ‘five-times-a-night-man’. I really shouldn’t drink so much tea just before I go to bed....
16:16 Sat 08th Jul 20171 answer, last by marval 16:40 Sat 08th Jul 2017
Avatar Image
Hymie

Suicide

‘Suicide is not the answer,’ I said to my friend. But he insisted it was, and we lost the quiz by one point....
07:30 Sat 08th Jul 20171 answer, last by Cloverjo 07:34 Sat 08th Jul 2017
Avatar Image
Hymie

Award

The staff are so bad at my local supermarket - I used their self-checkout this afternoon and was made employee of the month.
20:08 Fri 07th Jul 20171 answer, last by Togo 20:12 Fri 07th Jul 2017
Avatar Image
Hymie

Masturbation

On one occasion during my teenage years – my mum walked into my room and said ‘You’ll go blind if you do that.’ I was so embarrassed, I dropped my binoculars and missed the eclipse....
20:43 Thu 06th Jul 20174 answers, last by zebo 14:40 Fri 07th Jul 2017
Avatar Image
Hymie

Dr. Squads Diagnosis Ii

I told Dr. Squad I thought I had athlete’s foot. He took one look at me and said ‘I don’t think you have athlete’s anything.’...
22:10 Wed 05th Jul 20171 answer, last by Peter Pedant 22:31 Wed 05th Jul 2017
Avatar Image
Hymie

Dr. Squads Diagnosis

I told Dr. Squad that I broke my leg in two places. He advised that I stop going to those places....
20:03 Wed 05th Jul 20171 answer, last by Patsy33 20:24 Wed 05th Jul 2017

701 to 720 of 919

First Previous 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 Next Last