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Hymie

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Hymie

Body Beautiful

They say you need to listen to what your body is telling you – but mine just points and laughs....
20:10 Sat 22nd Jul 20172 answers, last by Chipchopper 20:31 Sat 22nd Jul 2017
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Hymie

One For The School Kids On Holiday

Q: What is orange and sounds like a parrot A: a carrot...
20:57 Fri 21st Jul 2017
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Hymie

The Smell Of Success

Success is like a fart – it only bothers people when it is not their own....
20:32 Thu 20th Jul 20171 answer, last by Shaglene 12:05 Fri 21st Jul 2017
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Hymie

No Job Satisfaction

The stress levels are so high amongst my work colleagues that employee turn over is now at an all time high. Things are so bad; today I noticed that even the office copier/printer wants out –...
20:31 Wed 19th Jul 2017
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Hymie

Helpful Advice

I stopped a guy in the street and said ‘Can you help me, I’m looking for a rubbish tip.’ He replied ‘Arsenal to win the premiership.’...
20:37 Tue 18th Jul 20176 answers, last by DTCwordfan 16:25 Thu 20th Jul 2017
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Hymie

Latin

You have to question the modus operandi of people who use Latin for no reason.
21:30 Mon 17th Jul 201711 answers, last by jim360 09:43 Tue 18th Jul 2017
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Hymie

Riddle Me This

Q: I have two heads, six eyes and twelve legs – what am I?...
21:25 Sun 16th Jul 201712 answers, last by Quoi 12:25 Tue 18th Jul 2017
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Hymie

Murder Detective

It’s always the one you least suspect – that was why I was sacked from my job as murder detective....
20:33 Sun 16th Jul 2017
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Hymie

The Lord Helps Those Who Help Themselves

When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realised that the Lord does not work that way, so I stole a bike and asked for him to forgive me....
15:09 Sat 15th Jul 20171 answer, last by Patsy33 16:00 Sat 15th Jul 2017
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Hymie

Fortune-Teller

I went to a fortune-teller last week. She studied my palm and said ‘You’ve been masturbating.’ I said ‘Hey, you’re good – can you tell me anything about my future?’ She looked at my face...
21:02 Fri 14th Jul 20174 answers, last by DTCwordfan 21:18 Fri 14th Jul 2017
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Hymie

Father & Son

‘Dad, do you like being married?’ ‘Sure son, without a wife I would never know how to do things the right way and I’d still be afraid of dying.’...
19:15 Thu 13th Jul 20171 answer, last by douglas9401 19:17 Thu 13th Jul 2017
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Hymie

World Debt

The world is over £170 trillion in debt – just exactly which planet do we owe it to?...
18:12 Wed 12th Jul 20175 answers, last by lankeela 10:49 Thu 13th Jul 2017
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Hymie

No I In Team

The next time one of your work colleagues announces that ‘There is no I in team’, counter this by saying ‘But there are three in narcissistic’....
21:13 Tue 11th Jul 20176 answers, last by cath16 15:11 Sun 30th Jul 2017
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Hymie

Life Insurance

My wife and I took out life insurance policies on each other today – so now it’s just a waiting game....
19:02 Mon 10th Jul 2017
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Hymie

Odd One Out

Q: Which is the odd one out; Lobster, Crab, Tuna, a Chinese man run over by a buss? A: Tuna, all the others are crustaceans...
18:51 Sun 09th Jul 20171 answer, last by maggiebee 19:44 Sun 09th Jul 2017
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Hymie

Sexual Prowess

Any of my lady companions can confirm that I’m a ‘five-times-a-night-man’. I really shouldn’t drink so much tea just before I go to bed....
17:16 Sat 08th Jul 20171 answer, last by marval 17:40 Sat 08th Jul 2017
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Hymie

Suicide

‘Suicide is not the answer,’ I said to my friend. But he insisted it was, and we lost the quiz by one point....
08:30 Sat 08th Jul 20171 answer, last by Cloverjo 08:34 Sat 08th Jul 2017
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Hymie

Award

The staff are so bad at my local supermarket - I used their self-checkout this afternoon and was made employee of the month.
21:08 Fri 07th Jul 20171 answer, last by Togo 21:12 Fri 07th Jul 2017
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Hymie

Masturbation

On one occasion during my teenage years – my mum walked into my room and said ‘You’ll go blind if you do that.’ I was so embarrassed, I dropped my binoculars and missed the eclipse....
21:43 Thu 06th Jul 20174 answers, last by zebo 15:40 Fri 07th Jul 2017
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Hymie

Dr. Squads Diagnosis Ii

I told Dr. Squad I thought I had athlete’s foot. He took one look at me and said ‘I don’t think you have athlete’s anything.’...
23:10 Wed 05th Jul 20171 answer, last by Peter Pedant 23:31 Wed 05th Jul 2017

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