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Hymie

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Hymie

Juice Machine

A young lad had a job bagging groceries at the supermarket. One day the shop got a flashy new machine for squeezing juice out of fresh fruit. Because of the potential danger to customers, someone from...
21:10 Fri 15th May 20209 answers, last by niyas1990 09:12 Tue 10th Jan 2023
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Hymie

Holy Cow

Q: What does a woman have two of that a cow has four of? A: Feet...
21:55 Thu 14th May 2020
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Hymie

The Ideal Job Candidate

Manager to interviewee: ‘For this job we need someone who is responsible.’ Interviewee to manager: ‘I’m you man then – in my last job, whenever anything went wrong I was responsible.’...
23:14 Wed 13th May 20201 answer, last by Spicerack 23:17 Wed 13th May 2020
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Hymie

Best Chat-Up Line In A Gay Bar

Excuse me, but can I push your stool up for you?
20:01 Mon 11th May 20202 answers, last by ladybirder 20:02 Mon 11th May 2020
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Hymie

Completely Normal

A woman went to see her psychiatrist saying that she was concerned; yesterday she had found her daughter and the little boy next door together naked, examining each other’s bodies and giggling. The...
08:35 Sun 10th May 2020
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Hymie

Devil-Worship

Did you hear about the devil-worshipping dyslexic, who sold his soul to Santa?
07:59 Sat 09th May 20204 answers, last by jno 15:54 Sat 09th May 2020
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Hymie

What?

Q: What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back? A: A stick Q: What’s brown and sticky? A: A stick...
23:01 Thu 07th May 20201 answer, last by Spicerack 23:07 Thu 07th May 2020
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Hymie

Biker Witness

A biker appeared in court to testify on behalf of a friend. The prosecuting lawyer asked him, ‘Isn’t it true that you have been paid £5,000 to throw this case?’ The biker calmly ignored the question,...
21:05 Wed 06th May 20207 answers, last by sanmac 00:09 Thu 07th May 2020
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Hymie

Pizza Delivery

A student delivered a pizza to old Ken’s home – on taking delivery, Ken asked ‘What is the usual tip I should be giving you?’ ‘Well,’ replied the student ‘this is the first time I have delivered to...
12:00 Tue 05th May 20203 answers, last by Ken4155 13:58 Tue 05th May 2020
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Hymie

Are You Confused?

Q: How do you confuse an idiot? A: 26...
20:26 Mon 04th May 20203 answers, last by DTCwordfan 20:30 Mon 04th May 2020
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Hymie

The High Cost Of Legal Advice

A man calls his lawyer and asks: ‘How much would you charge to answer three questions?’ ‘£400.’ replies the lawyer. ‘Oh!’, exclaims the man, ‘that’s a lot of money, isn’t it?’ ‘I guess so’ replies the...
07:41 Sun 03rd May 2020
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Hymie

Leggy Ladies

Q: What do you call a lady with one leg shorter than the other? A: Eileen. Q: What do you call a Chinese lady with one leg shorter than the other? A: Irene. Q: What do you call a lady with both legs...
11:07 Sat 02nd May 20203 answers, last by Chipchopper 14:10 Sat 02nd May 2020
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Hymie

Night Time Nookie

A married couple were lying in bed, the husband feeling horny, reached over and nudged his wife. ‘What do you want?’ she asked. ‘You know what.’ He said. ‘Can’t.’ She replied, adding ‘I have an...
23:56 Tue 28th Apr 20201 answer, last by Patsy33 11:37 Wed 29th Apr 2020
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Hymie

Motel Stay

A young priest had arranged to stay at a motel for one night; on checking in he took a fancy to the young receptionist. A while later the priest invited the receptionist to his room for a drink. While...
22:02 Mon 27th Apr 20203 answers, last by zebo 11:33 Tue 28th Apr 2020
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Hymie

Honeymoon Couples

Two pairs of newly-weds went on honeymoon together. After the first week they got a bit fed up with their partners and agreed to swap to liven things up a bit. The next morning one of the husbands...
21:45 Sun 26th Apr 20201 answer, last by marval 17:44 Mon 27th Apr 2020
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Hymie

Criminal Post Office

The current issue of Private Eye has a very interesting Special Report on the Post Office’s criminal prosecution of staff – despite the most senior managers knowing that the Horizon computer system on...
13:11 Sun 12th Apr 20206 answers, last by Peter Pedant 17:00 Sun 12th Apr 2020
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Hymie

Corona Virus Spreading By Other Than Coughing And Touching

Given that the virus can infect virtually every cell in the body; no-one appears to have asked the question - can the corona virus be spread by flatulence? Since a single fart can fill a room - should...
15:01 Sun 29th Mar 202015 answers, last by Ken4155 09:30 Sun 12th Apr 2020
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Hymie

10 Things A Woman Will Never Say

1. I’m wrong, you must be right. 2. Does this make my bum look too small? 3. My God, it really is 14 inches. 4. I won’t put my lips on that thing unless you let me swallow. 5. This diamond is far...
09:47 Sat 29th Feb 20206 answers, last by marval 18:30 Sat 29th Feb 2020

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