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Jemisa

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Jemisa

20Years.

A woman awoke during the night to find that her husband was not in bed. She put on her robe and went downstairs. He was sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front of him. He appeared...
13:48 Tue 13th Aug 20133 answers, last by excelsior-1 15:11 Tue 13th Aug 2013
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Quoi

Lost Keys

I lost my keys this morning. I looked everywhere even turned the house upside down. My wife told me to look in the place I least expect. Funnily enough, my keys are NOT in locker E17 of the women's...
13:56 Tue 13th Aug 20131 answer, last by Jemisa 14:22 Tue 13th Aug 2013
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Quoi

Irony

Definition of irony:- When fat people buy jogging pants when they're trousers don't fit....
13:51 Tue 13th Aug 20136 answers, last by sir.prize 18:33 Tue 13th Aug 2013
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Quoi

10 Reasons...

Here are 10 reasons why women think men are lazy 1)...
13:36 Tue 13th Aug 20135 answers, last by marval 14:45 Tue 13th Aug 2013
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bhg481

Cupid04 What's The Difference.....

Q) What's the difference between hard and light? A) You can get to sleep with a light on...
07:49 Tue 13th Aug 20135 answers, last by tonyav 11:43 Tue 13th Aug 2013
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sandyRoe

M&s Wholemeal Loaf...

Sell by date is today. When opened there's a slight smell similar to nail varnish. Is it safe to eat or should it be binned?...
10:58 Tue 13th Aug 201315 answers, last by gingejbee 11:18 Tue 13th Aug 2013
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frugalfred

Paddy Yet Again..

19 Irishmen go to the cinema. The ticket lady asks, "Why so many of you?" Paddy replies , "The advert for the film said 18 or over."...
19:28 Thu 08th Aug 20136 answers, last by cupid04 23:07 Thu 08th Aug 2013
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starone

This One Is A Bit Naughty

Professor Higgins at the University of Sydney was giving a lecture on 'Involuntary Muscle Contraction' to his first year medical students. Realising this was not the most riveting subject, the...
19:36 Thu 08th Aug 201313 answers, last by starone 19:28 Fri 09th Aug 2013
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lankeela

I Was In A Pub On Saturday Night

when this really brutal ugly girl came up to me, squeezed my arse and said "Give me your number sexy." I replied "Have you got a pen?" She smiled and said "Yes" I replied "Well you better get back to...
21:04 Thu 08th Aug 20133 answers, last by excelsior-1 14:30 Fri 09th Aug 2013
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marval

What?

What do you call an Irishman who keeps bouncing off of walls? Rick O' Shea!...
21:36 Thu 08th Aug 20135 answers, last by frugalfred 10:58 Sat 10th Aug 2013
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Jemisa

Be Strong.

A man escapes from a prison where he's been locked up for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and jewrllery. Inside, he finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and...
13:09 Thu 08th Aug 20136 answers, last by Spoonboy 21:50 Thu 08th Aug 2013
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thejudderman

Bongo Bongo Land????

As usual the "what can I be offended about today" brigade are out in force! Sad sad people need to get a life!!...
21:24 Wed 07th Aug 201385 answers, last by Spoonboy 18:34 Sat 10th Aug 2013
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McMouse

Lie Detector Robot

A father buys a lie detector robot that slaps people when they lie. He decides to test it out at dinner one night. The father asks his son what he did that afternoon. The son says, "I did some...
11:28 Wed 07th Aug 201310 answers, last by Jemisa 13:24 Thu 08th Aug 2013
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starone

A Neat Solution

The Psychiatrist and the Proctologist Best friends graduating from medical school at the same time decided that in spite of two different specialties, they would open a practice together to share...
19:32 Wed 07th Aug 20135 answers, last by Jemisa 13:13 Thu 08th Aug 2013
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Jeza

Quirky Eating Habits.

I'm not a big meat eater but I do love my veg. One slice of meat is enough for me. I like most meat bit cannot eat chicken if it has gravy on it. When we have chicken I always have it on a separate...
21:46 Tue 06th Aug 201322 answers, last by Quoi 11:24 Wed 07th Aug 2013
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excelsior-1

I Am A Little Reticent ......

.... about accepting a job offer from the Disney Corporation .. .. .. .. ............ i have heard thet it is a Mickey Mouse outfit...
16:21 Tue 06th Aug 20137 answers, last by Svejk 13:20 Wed 07th Aug 2013
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marval

Life Lessons

1. A foolish man tells a woman to stop talking, but a wise man tells her that she looks extremely beautiful when her lips are closed. 2. One good way to reduce alcohol consumption: Before marriage -...
09:42 Tue 06th Aug 20134 answers, last by Quoi 12:03 Tue 06th Aug 2013
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Jemisa

Alcohol Is Bad....

Alcohol Is Bad For Legs.............................................................. A man goes into a cocktail lounge and approaches a sexy blonde sitting by herself at the bar. He asks her, "May I...
22:33 Sat 03rd Aug 20134 answers, last by Jemisa 22:49 Mon 05th Aug 2013
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marval

What Happened?

What happened?" asked the hospital visitor to the heavily bandaged man sitting up in bed. "Well, I went to the Amusement Park at the weekend and decided to take a ride on the roller coaster. As we...
21:01 Mon 05th Aug 20134 answers, last by excelsior-1 09:52 Tue 06th Aug 2013
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Quoi

Cheap Labour...

I rang seaworld to book some tickets the other day. I thought it was odd that they asked me to repeat "Jump through the hoop!" "Do a flip!" "balance the ball" several times before they would confirm...
12:30 Mon 05th Aug 20134 answers, last by marval 15:49 Mon 05th Aug 2013

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