maggiebee Member Profile in The AnswerBank

Problem

A woman went in to see a therapist and said, "I've got a big problem, doctor. Every time we're in bed and my husband climaxes, he lets out an outrageous yell." "My dear," the...

starone

More from Paddy, Mick and Murphy

Paddy and Mick go to London to donate sperm. It was a disaster! Paddy missed the tube and Mick came on the bus! ............................................. ......... A Muslim was sitting next to...

flipnflap

Just bought DVD of The Artist. Was really looking forward to it. 10 minutes in, can't watch anymore. The music is giving me a headache and I've lost interest totally. Am I alone in feeling this way...

marval

G R O A N

A paper bag goes to the doctor and complains of feeling really ill. The doctor does a lot of tests and tells the paper bag to come back next week for the results. The following week the paper bag is...

Tinkerpuss

Noisy neighbours!

Can anyone suggest a way I could reduce the noise I hear from my neighbours? I live in a semi-detached house and the living room wall is so thin. I can hear the woman next door constantly shouting and...

NoMercy

Fao JJ

We've just booked our holiday to the Cape Verde Islands. Please can you learn me some Portuguese? :) x x...

strudledoodle

Diamond Jubilee

How are you spending the Diamond Jubilee?

rabet

Have a Moan!

I'm sure this has been done on here before, but let's go again! Which TV people/vips/personalities can you not stand? I can't watch Alan Titchmarsh because he is such a smarmer, having taken over the...

Barmaid

After two years, six months and 12 days

Mr BM has secured work. No question just wanted to share the fact that he now looks 10ft tall....

jd_here

HIGNFY

Just gets better and better, terrific show tonight.

Georgiesmum

CHRIS EVANS

Congratulations Chris Evans and wife Natasha on your new baby boy Eli., a brother for Noah.

fruitsalad

Things we woman put ourselves through

Im having my legs wax for my holiday and because the hairs have to be of a certain length prior to waxing I can't wear shorts or a skirt in this warm weather because my legs are so hairy what a pain...

TWR

Whats your week end plans?

Anything interesting?

AB Editor

Favourite opening lines of a novel?

I can't think of mine. Maybe "This is not for you" printed on a blank page at the beginning of Mark Z Danielewski's "House of Leaves"? Or maybe any of McCarthy's run-on lines, like...

tinkerbell23

Still on a roll

Remember the uni essay i had to resubmit? Stupid referenc list went missing? Well ive had results back and officially have passed...woohooo. So ill have my registration in a few weeks...and at least i...

maggiebee

Advice for Living

Written by a 90 year old...... 1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good. 2. When in doubt, just take the next small step. 3. Life is too short – enjoy it. 4. Your job won't take care of you when...

Smowball

Three men in prison........

A porn star, a psycho and a homosexual: Porn star - If I find a cat in here I will sh*g it hard till it dies. Psycho - Oh yeah! And once its dead I will sh*g it till I die. Homosexual standing in the...

marval

Amazed

After 100 years lying on the sea bed, Irish divers were amazed to find that the Titanic’s swimming pool was still full.

lizzie62

famous person fact or fictional

1) a beer got a kiss and a fish got five hundred 2) a sportscar without a soft drink 3) the Baptist went to the bakers for a sausage roll 4) a French heroine is a tart 5) he has a black and white cat...