Just seen someone on Facebook having a big old moan because our parish council has not gritted the pavements, although they seem to have done a good job on the roads and it occurred to me that I don't...
I've microwaved a can of Baxter's Cullen Skink. Is that Scottish? It sounds Scottish. If so, then I'm eating it in honour of Scotland, for entertaining everyone (not that I actually saw it until...
I've always admired her and watched her on TV when I was growing up. I always thought she looked great and she is a very pretty woman. She obviously looks fantastic with the weight loss, but she looks...
A couple was having a discussion about what to see and do now that they were safely in Florida on their honeymoon. Trying to assert himself, he exploded, "If it weren't for my money, we wouldn't...
I got run over by a lorry after being let out of school early due to the death of George VI! My Nan said it was all 'that woman's' (Mrs Simpson's) fault!!!
I don't mean the normal celebrities, someone who is on a programme or the news sometimes. I like the auctioneer who wears the striped jacket on Homes Under The Hammer, I think he has got a really...
My niece has been in incredible pain for the last 10 days following her kidney & pancreas transplant. She was screaming the ward down on Friday and the surgeon was worried that one of the organs...
Dear Tech Support, Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance -- particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which...
There's a new garlic diet going around. You don't lose weight, but you look thinner from a distance. Man to clerk in DVD store: "I'd like to exchange this diet-and-workout DVD for one of...
My wife passed away nearly 10 years ago leaving me with 2 daughters. I have gone to various clubs and have been approached by 3 women to date and have formed a friendship. In every case I have...
I held the door open for a
gorgeous blonde in the pub last
night.
My wife said, '' You've never held
the door open for me.''
I said, '' what about the time you threatened to leave.''...
1. You cannot stick your tongue out and look up at the ceiling at the same time. 2. All idiots after reading 1. will try it. 3. They will discover 1. is a lie 4. You are smiling now because you are an...