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marval

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marval

Heard

I've heard a rumour The Wok Inn takeaway down the road is being closed down due to poor hygiene. Could just be Chinese whispers though....
16:30 Sat 16th Jan 20168 answers, last by Prudie 18:10 Sun 17th Jan 2016
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marval

Is It Yours?

A Pole, an Italian, and a Jew, all first-time fathers-to-be, are pacing nervously in the maternity ward waiting room when a nurse rushes out of the delivery room holding a black baby. "Is it yours?"...
17:40 Tue 12th Jan 2016
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marval

Me First

The scene is sometime in the old era when cockpits had round dials plus flight engineers and navigators. The crusty old-timer Captain is breaking in a brand new navigator. The captain opens his...
21:55 Mon 11th Jan 2016
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marval

Eating Out In The Swindon Area

Is there anyone who can recommend a good place for lunch? Either in Swindon or nearby. OH and his sisters want to meet up for their seventieth birthday. Swindon seems to be the easiest place between...
16:36 Mon 11th Jan 20167 answers, last by marval 19:55 Mon 11th Jan 2016
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marval

Do You Dance?

An old woman walked up and tied her mule to the hitching post. As she stood there, brushing some of the dust from her face and clothes, a young gunslinger stepped out of the saloon with a gun in one...
19:42 Sun 10th Jan 20162 answers, last by cupid04 01:25 Thu 14th Jan 2016
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marval

Bikers Beware

A couple were roaring down the road on a Honda motorcycle when the guy pulled over because his leather jacket had a broken zip. He told his girlfriend, "I can't keep driving any more, the air hitting...
18:07 Sun 10th Jan 20162 answers, last by cupid04 18:10 Sun 10th Jan 2016
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marval

Birth Rate

A little town had a high birth rate that had attracted the attention of the sociologists at the local university. They wrote a grant proposal, got a huge chunk of money and hired a few additional...
23:35 Fri 08th Jan 20162 answers, last by Togo 23:47 Fri 08th Jan 2016
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marval

Have A Laugh

The maths teacher said, “If you have 12 chocolates and you give 5 to Pamela, 3 to Sonia and 2 to Nadine then what will you get?” Johnny replied three new girlfriends. A man went to work for a zoo...
17:10 Fri 08th Jan 2016
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marval

Jewish Mother's Logic.

Sadie and Rose were sitting under hair dryers at the hairdresser having a chat. Sadie says, "So nu, Rose, how's that daughter of yours?" Rose replies, "She's OK thanks. She married a fantastic man....
20:37 Wed 06th Jan 20161 answer, last by Old_Geezer 20:40 Wed 06th Jan 2016
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marval

My Grandfather

My Grandfather Is Eighty And Still Doesn't Need Glasses. He Drinks Straight Out Of The Bottle....
18:37 Sun 03rd Jan 20161 answer, last by bookbinder 18:40 Sun 03rd Jan 2016
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marval

New Gym

A large man sees an ad for a new gym, guaranteeing to reduce anyone's weight by 5, 10 or 20 kilograms on the first day. So he goes and tells them he wants to lose 5 kg. They lead him into a huge gym...
17:02 Thu 31st Dec 2015
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marval

Happy New Year

Deer readers, my gnu year’s resolution is to tell you a gazelleon times how much I caribou you! Sorry. Bad puns. Alpaca bag and leave. My new year’s resolution is to save enough to buy a Velcro...
23:16 Wed 30th Dec 20154 answers, last by DavidLM 08:51 Mon 25th Jan 2016
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marval

Been Doing It Wrong

An unhappy-looking old man had stood in the long gift return line at the store. Finally he made it to the counter with his package. The clerk, observing his stubble of day-old beard, spotted here and...
22:58 Wed 30th Dec 20154 answers, last by DTCwordfan 23:23 Wed 30th Dec 2015
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marval

Anything To Declare?

A distinguished young woman on a flight from Ireland asked the Priest beside her, "Father, may I ask a favour?" "Of course my child. What may I do for you?" "Well, I bought an expensive woman's...
18:53 Wed 30th Dec 20158 answers, last by Old_Geezer 09:25 Wed 06th Jan 2016
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marval

Would You?

I don't like heights, so I would give this a miss. Would any of you be willing to walk across this bridge? http://news.sky.com/story/1613674/sky-news-crosses-chinas-brave-mans-bridge...
18:24 Tue 29th Dec 201532 answers, last by Hopkirk 22:21 Tue 29th Dec 2015
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marval

Phone

My phone is on the blink. It must be an eye phone....
15:21 Tue 29th Dec 20156 answers, last by Chipchopper 12:00 Wed 30th Dec 2015
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marval

Only At Christmas

At a monastery high in the mountains, the monks have a rigid vow of silence. Only at Christmas, and only by one monk, and only with one sentence, is the vow allowed to be broken. One Christmas,...
18:25 Thu 24th Dec 20151 answer, last by sandyRoe 08:53 Fri 25th Dec 2015
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marval

Santa

Santa and his reindeer need to be really quiet when they deliver presents so no one will know they are there. One Christmas Eve when they landed on a roof top, there was a loud, "Snort, snort, sniff,...
23:03 Wed 23rd Dec 2015
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marval

What Took So Long?

I apologise if this has been posted before. This is a lovely Christmas present for Dotty. What a shame it took so long for someone to take her in....
17:59 Tue 22nd Dec 20153 answers, last by viv41 18:06 Tue 22nd Dec 2015
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marval

I Keep

I keep having flashbacks about plastic underwater castles. Honestly, I've got the memory of a goldfish....
17:07 Tue 22nd Dec 2015

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