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marval

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marval

Woman's Revenge

An eighteen year-old boy came home with a Porsche and his parents asked "Where did you get that car?" He calmly told them, "I bought it today." "With what money?" demanded his parents. We know what a...
15:51 Mon 21st Dec 20152 answers, last by quizman55 23:48 Mon 21st Dec 2015
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marval

Sell

I decided to sell my extensive record collection. My friends told me it was total Madness. I disagreed though, they only made up a small percentage of it....
22:47 Sun 20th Dec 20152 answers, last by tonyav 23:24 Sun 20th Dec 2015
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marval

Christmas Fireman

In a small Southern town in America there was a "Nativity Scene" that showed great skill and talent had gone into creating it. One small feature bothered a visitor. The three wise men were wearing...
12:41 Fri 18th Dec 20153 answers, last by vulcan42 15:20 Fri 18th Dec 2015
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marval

A Different Beethoven

This is a slightly different way of performing Beethoven....
20:45 Thu 17th Dec 20151 answer, last by tonyav 21:55 Fri 18th Dec 2015
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marval

Right Answers

HE: I'm a photographer I've been looking for a face like yours. SHE: I'm a plastic surgeon. I've been looking for a face like yours. HE: May I have the pleasure of this dance? SHE: No, I'd like to...
17:46 Thu 17th Dec 20152 answers, last by zabado 13:55 Fri 18th Dec 2015
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marval

Can't

Two hobbits walk into a bar where one of them picks up a lady of the night. They take her to a local motel; the first hobbit goes into the motel room while the other waits outside. Once the door...
18:06 Wed 16th Dec 20151 answer, last by Shaglene 19:55 Wed 16th Dec 2015
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marval

Check

Paddy goes into the kitchen. He opens the sugar container, looks inside and puts the lid back on. His wife sees him do this. A couple of hours later he comes back into the kitchen, and does the same...
23:59 Tue 15th Dec 20159 answers, last by Svejk 15:30 Wed 16th Dec 2015
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marval

Hen Do

I'm currently sorting out my best mates hen do. I said to her, "I'm going to arrange for us to go to Spain one week before your wedding." She said, "That's too close, you should do it a bit further...
19:02 Mon 14th Dec 20151 answer, last by frugalfred 20:59 Mon 14th Dec 2015
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marval

Who Gets The Money?

John is down on his luck in Las Vegas. He has gambled away all his money and has to borrow a dime from another gambler just to use the men's room. The stall happens to be open and he uses the dime in...
17:20 Sat 12th Dec 20153 answers, last by ReneMiranda123 01:15 Sat 19th Dec 2015
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marval

I Got

"Gymnasium" in ancient Greek means "naked exercise." I tried telling that to the instructor, but he still threw me out....
17:53 Fri 11th Dec 201511 answers, last by Svejk 21:32 Fri 11th Dec 2015
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marval

Sisters

Joe Johnson, the Matchmaker, goes to meet Mr. Ford, who has been a bachelor for many years. Joe says to Mr. Ford, "I suggest you do not delay it any further. I have someone in mind who is just perfect...
16:34 Wed 09th Dec 20151 answer, last by Shaglene 17:02 Wed 09th Dec 2015
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Goodbye Mr Rumbold

Nicholas Smith who played Mr Rumbold In "Are You Being Served" has died. I quite liked that programme. RIP Nicholas. http://news.sky.com/entertainment...
18:26 Mon 07th Dec 20156 answers, last by maggiebee 19:20 Mon 07th Dec 2015
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marval

I Hate

I hate it when people post lyrics from songs. It makes me wanna shout! Kick my heels up and shout! Put my hands up and shout! Throw my head back and shout!...
14:27 Mon 07th Dec 20153 answers, last by Chipchopper 18:47 Mon 07th Dec 2015
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marval

More Bull

Three bulls are in the pasture complaining. They've heard a rumour that the farmer is bringing in a new bull, and they aren't happy about sharing any of their cows. The Alpha bull says, "You know,...
16:00 Sat 05th Dec 2015
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marval

Friends

My friends called today. Bit of a weird name if you ask me....
18:31 Thu 03rd Dec 20155 answers, last by Old_Geezer 10:37 Fri 04th Dec 2015
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marval

Please Kill Your Spider Quietly

If you are going to kill a spider, I'd do it quietly. Unless you want a visit by the law. http://news.sky.com/story/1594785/mans-noisy-spider-battle-sparks-police-calls...
20:00 Wed 02nd Dec 20158 answers, last by viv41 17:46 Thu 03rd Dec 2015
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marval

Five Pounds

Once upon a time there were two deaf mutes standing on a street corner talking to each other with sign language. Mute1 “What would you like to do?" Mute 2 "I don't know what about you?" Mute1...
22:42 Tue 01st Dec 20153 answers, last by Shaglene 09:01 Wed 02nd Dec 2015
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marval

I Wanted

I wanted to go and visit Wolverhampton Wanderers' stadium. So I asked my mate John and his wife Molly for directions. John didn't know but fortunately, Molineux....
19:00 Mon 30th Nov 201511 answers, last by janbee 06:09 Tue 01st Dec 2015
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marval

Don't Work Here

TO: ALL EMPLOYEES SUBJECT: SICK LEAVE POLICY SICKNESS: No excuse. We will no longer accept your doctor's statement as proof. We believe that if you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come...
17:25 Sun 29th Nov 20153 answers, last by Canary42 01:55 Mon 30th Nov 2015
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marval

Oops

A married man was visiting his girlfriend one day, when she requested that he shave his beard. "Oh, James, I like your beard, but I would really love to see your handsome face." James replied, "My...
18:38 Fri 27th Nov 20152 answers, last by Shaglene 13:09 Sun 29th Nov 2015

1161 to 1180 of 3998

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