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marval

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marval

Too Much

My partner reckons I drink too much Gin. This came as a bit of a shock. I didn’t even realise I had a partner....
21:59 Mon 21st Oct 201910 answers, last by 10ClarionSt 23:04 Mon 21st Oct 2019
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marval

Uncles New Suit

A man takes his elderly uncle to be measured for a suit, the old guy is in his seventies and has never had a made-to-measure suit in his life. The tailor measures him for the jacket then moves down to...
18:15 Mon 21st Oct 20192 answers, last by bookbinder 15:56 Thu 24th Oct 2019
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marval

Are You?

The little girl's mother was entertaining her next door neighbour when her little daughter walked in. "Hello, Mrs Crabbit, are you a gardening expert?" she asked. "No I am not, why do you ask?" said...
17:46 Sun 20th Oct 20193 answers, last by Chipchopper 08:20 Mon 21st Oct 2019
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marval

Great Canal Journeys

Don't forget there is a new one tomorrow, at 8pm channel four. I suspect this will be their last, as Pru is getting worse....
21:55 Sat 19th Oct 20197 answers, last by naomi24 21:35 Tue 22nd Oct 2019
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marval

Dogging

I put all my Dogging videos and material on eBay. No bids yet but fourteen people are watching. Nothing is made in the UK anymore. I have just bought a radio and it said, “Built in antenna.” I...
17:34 Sat 19th Oct 20191 answer, last by Patsy33 17:40 Sat 19th Oct 2019
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marval

Bother

Bother! I have just lost the bidding on a genuine native American Indian teepee on eBay. If only I had submitted a Hiawatha....
18:49 Wed 16th Oct 20199 answers, last by Toorak 20:23 Wed 16th Oct 2019
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marval

I Used To Own

I use to own a car made entirely of wood, wooden body, wooden wheels, wooden seats, wooden engine. I had to sell though, it wooden go. I phoned the weak bladder helpline about my problem, it's 1p a...
21:28 Tue 15th Oct 20191 answer, last by Patsy33 14:39 Wed 16th Oct 2019
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marval

That Is Why

A couple had just got *Netflix* and they decided to sit down and watch it. She wanted to watch a nice sort of comedy romance. "Could you find a film on Netflix that reminds you of the last time we...
18:04 Tue 15th Oct 20193 answers, last by marval 20:53 Tue 15th Oct 2019
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marval

Do You Ever?

Do you ever wake up, kiss the person sleeping beside you and feel glad to be alive? I just did and I won't be getting this train again. I was told my Egyptian optician had died. Asif Eyecare. Sixty...
17:37 Thu 10th Oct 20192 answers, last by zebo 21:47 Thu 17th Oct 2019
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marval

Rumour

There was a rumour going around that there was a shortage of food at the Spoonerisms Convention. But it turned out to be a lack of pies....
17:17 Tue 08th Oct 20194 answers, last by Hopkirk 16:50 Fri 11th Oct 2019
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marval

My Grandma

My Grandma discovered an online knitting forum. She was upset the other day, apparently she used the *wrong thread* and the Mods banned her. My friend asked me what I thought about Internet message...
21:54 Mon 07th Oct 20194 answers, last by Patsy33 15:55 Tue 08th Oct 2019
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marval

Do They Work?

After suffering in agony for several days eventually I went to the Doctor. So talking to him he asked what was wrong. A bit embarrassed I said I was constipated and had been like that for several...
15:59 Sun 06th Oct 20193 answers, last by fbg40 17:54 Mon 07th Oct 2019
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marval

A Sad Tale

There were 3 gnus, daddy Gnu, mummy Gnu and baby Gnu They were getting hungry so daddy Gnu said he would go and get some food. After a couple of hours he didn't return, so mummy Gnu went out and...
12:57 Sun 06th Oct 20193 answers, last by Spicerack 19:33 Sun 06th Oct 2019
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marval

I Know

I know this girl called Ena. Every time I see her I say, Hi Ena and she laughs her head off. Someone keeps sending me flowers with the heads cut off. I think I'm being stalked. I went into a pet shop...
14:30 Sat 05th Oct 20194 answers, last by Canary42 21:05 Sat 05th Oct 2019
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marval

Don't

A man was water skiing when he fell into the lake. As the boat circled to pick him up, he noticed a hunter sitting in a duck boat in the reeds. The man put his hands in the air and joked, “Don’t...
17:19 Fri 04th Oct 20191 answer, last by Patsy33 19:31 Fri 04th Oct 2019
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marval

Selling

I am selling a limited edition bottle of Tippex to a Chinese man. I have told him it is a correctors item....
20:40 Thu 03rd Oct 20193 answers, last by Patsy33 20:42 Thu 03rd Oct 2019
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marval

More Funny Church Bulletins

A few more if Patsy doesn't mind. This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come forward and lay an egg on the altar. The concert held in Fellowship Hall was a great success. Special thanks...
14:34 Wed 02nd Oct 20192 answers, last by DTCwordfan 20:46 Wed 02nd Oct 2019
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marval

Will You Enter?

The BBC are looking for contestants for a new game. The contestants will have to ride on horseback, carrying a lance. Competing against another player. All the while talking for sixty seconds on a...
21:00 Tue 01st Oct 20196 answers, last by Canary42 22:46 Tue 01st Oct 2019
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marval

Found

I have found a chip shop that serves small portions of fish on photocopier paper. It is a little plaice on the A4...
14:19 Sun 29th Sep 20197 answers, last by Ken4155 17:22 Sun 29th Sep 2019
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marval

Serves Him Right

An elderly woman was walking her dog when a young man grabbed her handbag, and ran away. I asked her if she was OK. She simply smiled and said that it was really no big deal because she carries her...
12:34 Sun 29th Sep 20195 answers, last by 1ozzy 07:27 Tue 01st Oct 2019

121 to 140 of 3998

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