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marval

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AB Editor

This Weekend... In Headlines

Morning, It seems that stuff went down this weekend. Could someone please summarize each individual drama for me. If you'd like challenge then please attempt to present it in the form of a tabloid...
09:53 Mon 23rd Jul 201282 answers, last by Jenna1978 13:59 Mon 23rd Jul 2012
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Jemisa

No one believes OAPs

No one believes OAPs.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ . . everyone thinks they are senile. An elderly couple was celebrating their sixtieth anniversary. The couple had married as childhood sweethearts and had...
01:07 Mon 23rd Jul 20124 answers, last by Starbuckone 13:52 Mon 23rd Jul 2012
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starone

More trivia

The Grim Reaper came for me last night, and I beat him off with a vacuum cleaner. Talk about Dyson with death. A mate of mine recently admitted to being addicted to brake fluid. When I quizzed him on...
19:43 Wed 18th Jul 20126 answers, last by wazzaa 00:13 Sat 28th Jul 2012
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sunny-dave

shakespeare re-titled

Why did it have to be Timon of Athens ... Timon of Atherstone would have indicated the true level of tedium more accurately. Two Gentlemen of Ventnor would have been a hoot though ......
18:23 Mon 09th Jul 201258 answers, last by tonyav 18:33 Tue 10th Jul 2012
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starone

One more!

Two guys, one old, one young, are pushing their carts around Wal-Mart when they collide. The old guy says to the young guy, "Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife, and I guess I wasn't paying...
15:23 Fri 29th Jun 20124 answers, last by Starbuckone 19:33 Fri 29th Jun 2012
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Jemisa

Take one pill...

There once was a man who could not keep it going with his wife. He went to the doctor who gave him some sex pills. There was a label on the bottle that said "Take one pill for a great...
12:55 Fri 29th Jun 20122 answers, last by marval 15:11 Fri 29th Jun 2012
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Groupie

A lady walks into a high class jewellery shop?

. She browses around and spots a beautiful diamond bracelet and walks over to inspect it. As she bends over to look more closely, she inadvertently breaks wind. Very embarrassed, she looks around...
09:05 Mon 11th Jun 20125 answers, last by fredkins 18:21 Mon 11th Jun 2012
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Groupie

I bumped into an old school friend today.

He started showing off, talking about his well paid job and expensive sports car. Then he pulled out a photo of his wife and said, "She's beautiful, isn't she?" I said, "If you think...
14:05 Fri 08th Jun 20125 answers, last by tenrec 20:52 Fri 08th Jun 2012
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divegirl

Would you have helped this girl?

Words fail me! http://www.dailymail....s-20p-short-fare.html Just to add, a month or so ago my daughter [age 15] got on the wrong bus home. After phoning me near hysterical the driver stopped the bus,...
09:48 Fri 08th Jun 201265 answers, last by joko 22:39 Mon 11th Jun 2012
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beattie819

Sea Cadets

Just crossed my mind today.I wonder if Mollykins was taking part with her Sea Cadets, in the little boat we all helped to get....
23:39 Sun 03rd Jun 201215 answers, last by TOWIE 12:14 Mon 04th Jun 2012
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starone

The Interview

A major international company was looking to hire someone for an important position. They interviewed dozens of applicants and narrowed their search down to three people, all from different parts of...
00:38 Sun 20th May 20123 answers, last by chaptazbru 21:43 Sun 20th May 2012
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Jemisa

Squeeeze...

Two old ladies were looking at the giraffe in an enclosure at the Zoo. It's arse was at their eye level. "have a look at his balls!", one said to the other. "I reckon I could squeeze...
14:09 Sun 29th Apr 20124 answers, last by Starbuckone 20:45 Sun 29th Apr 2012
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starone

Grins and Snickers

I was in the six item express lane at the store quietly fuming. Completely ignoring the sign, the woman ahead of me had slipped into the check-out line pushing a cart piled high with groceries....
19:42 Fri 06th Apr 20124 answers, last by imagcq 21:21 Fri 06th Apr 2012
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carrust

I'm just....

...going to a Swedish pantomime...Snow White and the Sven Dwarves...
21:40 Mon 19th Mar 20121 answer, last by marval 21:46 Mon 19th Mar 2012
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carrust

Going blind...

Researchers have discovered that excessive masturbation can cause dyslexia. Hwoevre tihs is olny in etxreem caeses of slef aubse........
20:57 Mon 19th Mar 20121 answer, last by marval 21:46 Mon 19th Mar 2012
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Jemisa

Brown Balls!

. The father of 17 kids goes to the doc's with a rash on his belly. "All right" says the Doc, "drop' em and let's have a look." Having been confronted with the evidence the Doc...
00:34 Mon 12th Mar 20128 answers, last by shooty 23:52 Mon 12th Mar 2012
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pillj123

poor icecream man.....

Our ice cream man was found lying on the floor of his van covered with hundreds and thousands. Police say that he topped himself.
09:04 Mon 27th Feb 201243 answers, last by Jemisa 17:07 Mon 27th Feb 2012
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JonnyBoy12

World's funniest joke featuring an Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman.

There was an Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman and they had all been sentenced to 30 years for armed robbery. The judge was, however, feeling in a good mood that day and decided to give them all...
21:33 Sun 26th Feb 20121 answer, last by marval 23:04 Sun 26th Feb 2012
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shooty

You know You're A Redneck When.....

here is one to start you off. Please feel free to add your thoughts...... 1. You let your 14-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids....
22:29 Sun 19th Feb 201234 answers, last by marval 20:30 Mon 20th Feb 2012
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LochNessMonster

The perfect job ?

Fellow goes to the jobcentre to look for work and his adviser tells him that there is a job for a assistant gynaecologist in Glasgow. He says "What does the job entail" And his adviser...
11:05 Sun 19th Feb 20122 answers, last by marval 15:14 Sun 19th Feb 2012

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