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marval

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excelsior-1

Anybody Live In Somersham, Chatteris Or March?

my god-daughter is doing a charity cycle ride for the henry surtees foundation - march to st ives and back she got here and had lunch, and is now on the return journey if you feel generous, please...
13:32 Sun 31st Aug 20142 answers, last by EcclesCake 15:07 Sun 31st Aug 2014
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LochNessMonster

The Wee Problem ?

Bloke was helping his girlfriend to set up her first email address. They answered all the questions Name, address, Date of birth, username etc. However they could not decide on a password. After 10...
15:28 Fri 15th Aug 20142 answers, last by marval 17:10 Fri 15th Aug 2014
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DaisyNonna

Clouds

After a very gusty day and a few short (I minute) showers and heavy dark skies, I am now watching lovely pink and pale grey clouds drift past my window. I really don't know clouds at all. Cue for a...
20:19 Mon 11th Aug 201418 answers, last by DaisyNonna 22:00 Mon 11th Aug 2014
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sunny-dave

Book Titles ... In My Pants

The weather is just pants - and not in a good way. Big, saggy, grey apple-catchers. So let's have a silly thread - think of a book title and append the words "in my pants". To start I give you : Pride...
12:46 Sun 10th Aug 2014273 answers, last by Calibax 23:17 Mon 11th Aug 2014
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excelsior-1

In College

i studied agriculture and communication, specialising in sheep i graduated with a BAA...
21:51 Fri 18th Jul 20141 answer, last by marval 22:19 Fri 18th Jul 2014
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Fanriffic

A Few Daft Jokes...

Girl takes her boyfriend back to meet her parents. The boyfriend was wearing a pair of goalie gloves and a shirt with a big number one on the back. The girl’s dad says, “Well, he’s definitely a...
20:43 Wed 16th Jul 20148 answers, last by cupid04 01:54 Thu 17th Jul 2014
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Canary42

Confident(Ial)

A young boy asks his Dad, "What is the difference between confident and confidential?" Dad says, "You are my son, I'm confident about that. Your friend over there, is also my son, that's...
22:57 Tue 15th Jul 20141 answer, last by marval 15:45 Wed 16th Jul 2014
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belrec

Fish Joke

A deaf old lady walks into her local fishmongers and asks for a piece of cod "Sorry, Ma'am, we've got no cod" "Yes, sonny, a nice piece of cod" "We have NO cod" "I don't want haddock, just the cod"...
11:39 Thu 10th Jul 20145 answers, last by Baldric 16:52 Fri 11th Jul 2014
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berniecuddles

In Trouble Again!!

Mrs c said to me "What's my sexiest feature? My bum, boobs or face?". i said "your sense of humour" .....!! guess where i am?...
15:20 Mon 16th Jun 201417 answers, last by marval 17:36 Mon 16th Jun 2014
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excelsior-1

Will There Be Chickens In The Twenty Fourth Century?

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: James T. Kirk: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before. Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Mr. Scott: 'Cos ma wee transporter beam was na...
19:11 Sat 24th May 20144 answers, last by marval 16:45 Sun 25th May 2014
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frugalfred

Lexophiles

"Lexophile" is a word used to describe those that love using words in rather unique ways, such as "you can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish", or "to write with a broken pencil is pointless." A...
12:48 Thu 24th Apr 20146 answers, last by marval 17:29 Sat 26th Apr 2014
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excelsior-1

More Food Fun

we have had book titles changed to include food - and we have had tv programmes altered too now let us try famous persons, alive or dead i'll kick things off with 'Patrick Stew-art' get your thinking...
09:16 Fri 18th Apr 2014207 answers, last by marval 19:07 Fri 18th Apr 2014
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Groupie

Groan If You Feel Like It.

Hooray!! I've just got a job in a methane factory.? I fart next Monday....
14:47 Mon 07th Apr 201412 answers, last by Tilly2 15:56 Mon 07th Apr 2014
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excelsior-1

The Weather......

....was very hot and this man wanted desperately to take a dive in a nearby lake.  He didn't bring his swimming outfit, but who cared? He was all alone. So he undressed and got into the water. After...
11:41 Sun 16th Mar 20141 answer, last by marval 17:52 Sun 16th Mar 2014
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Scrivens

Labradoodle Etc.....

Pretentious nonsense or not? I know they're mostly hypo-allergenic ut what happened to good old-fashioned 'bitzer' or mongrel? Anyway, mush dash, my Rhodesian Chihuaweiler needs walking....
11:37 Sun 16th Mar 201420 answers, last by Blackiequine 22:43 Sun 16th Mar 2014
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Groupie

I Must Confess, I Nearly Wept When I Read This Lovely Moving Story?

Once upon a time, a guy asked a beautiful girl 'Will you marry me?' The girl said, 'NO!' And the guy lived happily ever after and rode motorcycles and went fishing and hunting and played golf and...
13:10 Wed 12th Mar 20149 answers, last by tamborine 12:01 Fri 14th Mar 2014
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emmie

Appropriate Names

i thought this was quite good R Brain and G Gamble, Funeral directors, a sign in a shop Gardening is cheaper than therapy and you get tomatoes. more appropriate names, or something that amused you...
21:15 Wed 05th Mar 201485 answers, last by Psybbo 19:55 Sat 08th Mar 2014
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Canary42

Another Irishman Goes For A Job...

... at a building site. The foreman expects to have a little fun at his expense so he says, "You have to answer a question before we can hire you". "OK" says the Irishman, "Fire away" The Foreman...
00:07 Thu 30th Jan 20144 answers, last by Canary42 00:38 Thu 30th Jan 2014
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emmie

Straight Out Of

only fools and horses, was wafting around the supermarket earlier, when I and other shoppers stopped in our tracks when over the tannoy came the immortal lines "would Elvis come to the checkout. "...
15:58 Fri 17th Jan 20146 answers, last by emmie 16:21 Fri 17th Jan 2014
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Spoonboy

A Good Read

Hello Abers one and all. I have some very good news for you regarding an earlier post... ...my book is published and ready to buy at Amazon or Waterstone's:)) Scorned: The Thiteenth Ghost - Barker...
17:26 Fri 10th Jan 201421 answers, last by Spoonboy 17:39 Mon 13th Jan 2014

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