Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. They lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.
My landlord seems very annoyed with me because the electric bill is so very high. He said he's coming to see me soon to discuss it. I said, "My door is always open"......
Do you ever wake up, kiss the person sleeping beside you, and be glad that you are alive?
I did and apparently won’t be allowed on this airline again …...
I went into a public toilet for a poop the other day. I'd just sat down when I heard a voice from the next cubicle say, "Hi, how are you?" I was a little embarrassed but I replied, "I'm fine thanks."...
