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Patsy33

1761 to 1780 of 1935

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Patsy33

Mature Adults.

Old is when; Your wife says, "Let's go upstairs and make love" You answer, "Honey, I can't do both".... Old is when; Someone compliments you on your new crocodile shoes, and you are barefoot.........
09:43 Wed 27th Apr 2016
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Patsy33

All Heart!

A Scotsman and his wife walked past a swanky new restaurant. "Did you smell that food?", she asked. " It smells absolutely incredible!" Being a 'kind- hearted Scotsman' he thought, "What the hell....,...
19:25 Tue 26th Apr 20163 answers, last by Baldric 21:34 Tue 26th Apr 2016
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Patsy33

A Long Shelf Life..

Man goes into library looking for a particular book. The Librarian says, "Can I help you sir?" "Yes", he replied, "I'm looking for 'A Lonely Spinster', by Willie Joiner" "Ah you're in luck sir,...
13:45 Tue 26th Apr 201612 answers, last by Patsy33 23:28 Tue 26th Apr 2016
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Patsy33

Nothing Personal..

Just deleted all German names from my mobile. I'm now Hans free.....
12:20 Tue 26th Apr 20167 answers, last by Patsy33 12:58 Tue 26th Apr 2016
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Patsy33

Young And Old.

A woman walked up to a little old man rocking in a chair on his porch. "I couldn't help noticing how happy you look," she said. "What's your secret for a long and happy life?" "I smoke three packs of...
11:38 Mon 25th Apr 20163 answers, last by Georgiesmum 09:03 Tue 26th Apr 2016
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Patsy33

I Wood Watch It Again.....

I watched a programme about beavers last night. The best dam documentary I've ever seen.....
10:54 Sat 23rd Apr 20164 answers, last by Chipchopper 19:54 Sat 23rd Apr 2016
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Patsy33

An Opening Laugh....

The other day I held the door open for a clown. It was a nice jester......
09:17 Fri 22nd Apr 20163 answers, last by Patsy33 18:32 Fri 22nd Apr 2016
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Patsy33

Cover It Up!

A hole has been found in the wall of a nudist camp. Police are looking into it.........
19:30 Thu 21st Apr 20163 answers, last by Patsy33 21:40 Thu 21st Apr 2016
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Patsy33

Hat's For Me!

A man goes into shop and said to the girl. "I'd like to buy a hat" She said, "Fedora?" He said, "No, it's for myself".........
19:51 Wed 20th Apr 201636 answers, last by Patsy33 19:05 Thu 21st Apr 2016
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Patsy33

Sing A Long!

Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of his life which produced an impressive set of callouses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet he...
18:04 Wed 20th Apr 20169 answers, last by Patsy33 19:02 Wed 20th Apr 2016
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Patsy33

A Wise Man.

"I think women are foolish to pretend they are equal to men. They are far superior and always have been". William Golding....
12:59 Wed 20th Apr 20169 answers, last by Old_Geezer 14:00 Wed 20th Apr 2016
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Patsy33

It's All In The Eyes...

In America, a cop pulls a driver over and says, "Your eyes look red, you been smokin weed?" Driver replied, "Your eyes look glazed, you been eating doughnuts?"...
11:50 Wed 20th Apr 20161 answer, last by Chipchopper 16:59 Thu 21st Apr 2016
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Patsy33

Connecting Words

1.Horse, House, Time 2.Turn, Light, Pupil 3.Clever, Room, Square 4.Hat, Animal, Green...
22:20 Tue 19th Apr 201610 answers, last by Patsy33 15:58 Wed 20th Apr 2016
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Patsy33

Kes He Wants To....

We've got an aviary at home, but one of our birds of prey will only exercise at night to 80's music. Our Kestrel Manoeuvres in The Dark..
16:16 Tue 19th Apr 20169 answers, last by Hopkirk 16:24 Tue 19th Apr 2016
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Patsy33

A Ghostly Visit.

A boss said to his employee, " Do you believe in life after death?" The employee said, "Certainly not, there's no proof of it!" Boss says, "Well, there is now. After you left early yesterday to go to...
13:25 Tue 19th Apr 20164 answers, last by Zacs-Master 18:51 Tue 19th Apr 2016
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Patsy33

Nothing To See.

I'm so bored. I thought about running around the house naked, but then I drank some window cleaner and it stopped me from streaking.......
15:39 Mon 18th Apr 20162 answers, last by Patsy33 18:58 Mon 18th Apr 2016
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Patsy33

Tight Lipped....

My wife asked me to pass her lip balm, but I accidentally gave her the super glue. She's still not speaking to me.............
10:18 Mon 18th Apr 20168 answers, last by Patsy33 12:19 Mon 18th Apr 2016
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Patsy33

Don't Buy One Of These!

A father buys a lie detector robot that slaps people when they lie. He decides to test it out at dinner one night. The father asks the son what he did that afternoon. "I did some homework" The robot...
16:40 Sun 17th Apr 2016
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Patsy33

A Farewell Song.....

Three friends, Evita, Marge and Tina were feeling sad as their friend Evita was going away. After a few drinks together Evita started to sing... 'Don't cry for me Marge and Tina, the truth is I never...
12:36 Sat 16th Apr 20169 answers, last by -Talbot- 18:25 Sat 16th Apr 2016
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Patsy33

In The Dark..

There was an assault at the local cinema today. Police are asking the Usherette if she can shed any light on it.......
11:36 Fri 15th Apr 20164 answers, last by Patsy33 19:32 Fri 15th Apr 2016

1761 to 1780 of 1935

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