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Patsy33

1781 to 1800 of 1936

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Patsy33

In The Dark..

There was an assault at the local cinema today. Police are asking the Usherette if she can shed any light on it.......
11:36 Fri 15th Apr 20164 answers, last by Patsy33 19:32 Fri 15th Apr 2016
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Patsy33

....and On A Sad Note.....

My Uncle got squashed by a piano. His funeral will be very low key.....
18:38 Thu 14th Apr 201627 answers, last by Patsy33 23:54 Thu 14th Apr 2016
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Patsy33

Quite A Buzz..

In the pantomime, I got to play the back end of a bumble bee. I thought I was the bee's knees........
11:22 Thu 14th Apr 201610 answers, last by Patsy33 19:13 Thu 14th Apr 2016
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Patsy33

Let's Talk...

A guy I know came up to me and a group of friends and said, "I heard you've been talking about me, you disgust me!" I said, "Yes, we did"...........
21:10 Wed 13th Apr 20168 answers, last by marval 23:24 Wed 13th Apr 2016
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Patsy33

Breaking News......

A man who took an airline company to court after his luggage went missing has lost his case.....
11:08 Wed 13th Apr 201626 answers, last by Patsy33 22:22 Wed 13th Apr 2016
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Patsy33

Testing The Water.....

On holiday I walked into the sea holding a jar of salsa. I had some very funny looks from people. One man said, " What ARE you doing?" I said, " I'm taking a dip"..........
13:51 Tue 12th Apr 20162 answers, last by Patsy33 16:28 Wed 13th Apr 2016
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Patsy33

Question Title Here

My friend said to me, "Does every sentence have to contain a vegetable?" I said, " Not necess-celery"......
11:10 Mon 11th Apr 201629 answers, last by DTCwordfan 21:30 Mon 11th Apr 2016
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Patsy33

Fancy Dress.

A friend dressed up as a small island off of Italy. He said " What do you think?" " I said don't be Sicily"!......
16:26 Sun 10th Apr 201640 answers, last by Patsy33 12:05 Mon 11th Apr 2016
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Patsy33

Bbq

I went to Sooty's barbacue. I had a sweep steak......
15:55 Sat 09th Apr 20163 answers, last by Patsy33 17:01 Sat 09th Apr 2016
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Patsy33

A Snap Decision.....

A woman walks into a pharmacy and asks the pharmacist for some arsnic. He asks "What for?" "I want to kill my husband" He says " Sorry, I can't do that" She then reaches into her handbag and pulls out...
12:04 Sat 09th Apr 20161 answer, last by bookbinder 17:44 Sun 10th Apr 2016
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Patsy33

Letters To/ From A Song

1.A homeless person might say this; W E I L M H T M H 2.Words from a loving sibling maybe; H A H H M B...
16:46 Fri 08th Apr 20164 answers, last by Patsy33 17:02 Fri 08th Apr 2016
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Patsy33

Pun Down On The Farm.

I took my grandchildren to our local farm, as the Farmer Mr. Barnyard, kindly said we could visit anytime. My neighbours warned me he likes to gossip, a muckraker......
15:57 Fri 08th Apr 201616 answers, last by marval 18:48 Sat 09th Apr 2016
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Patsy33

Food Fight...

I accidentally dropped a chip on moody daughter's shoulder while having dinner. Looking at her I said, " You've got a chip on your shoulder" She got angry and all defensive saying it must be my fault....
09:53 Fri 08th Apr 201612 answers, last by Patsy33 16:56 Fri 08th Apr 2016
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Patsy33

Ricky Gervais.

Anyone seen trailer of new Ricky Gervais film? It's called Life on The Road, which is out in August. David Brent returns to the Office all excited to tell everyone about his new life in a band....
20:33 Thu 07th Apr 20165 answers, last by piggynose 10:42 Tue 19th Apr 2016
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Patsy33

Cryptic

1. Prep a pal on two points about possible amusement for child.(5,5) 2.Ground coffee lets a warm touch materialise. (4,6) 3.Precocious company was thrown out. It was priceless! (8) 4.For something...
15:29 Thu 07th Apr 20166 answers, last by scorpiojo 15:34 Thu 07th Apr 2016
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Patsy33

Parents Leisure ( Or Pleasure) Time...

I was wondering the other day what our parents must have done for entertainment before television was popular and affordable! I asked my 38 brothers and sisters if they had any ideas, but none of them...
12:29 Thu 07th Apr 20162 answers, last by Patsy33 09:19 Fri 08th Apr 2016
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Patsy33

A Fishy Tale.

Someone's just thrown a bottle of Omega 3 tablets at me. I only received super fish oil injuries. I could have been krilled......
16:21 Wed 06th Apr 201680 answers, last by Patsy33 22:55 Thu 07th Apr 2016
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Patsy33

No Common Thence.....

Daffy duck calls down to the hotel desk and asks for a condom. The person on phone asks if he should put it on his bill. "Don't be thupid you thilly man. I'll thuffocate!".......
14:07 Wed 06th Apr 20164 answers, last by viv41 16:27 Wed 06th Apr 2016
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Patsy33

In A Spin

My wife has just left me. She said I was obsessed with cricket. It's really hit me for six.
09:53 Wed 06th Apr 201620 answers, last by scorpiojo 19:12 Mon 11th Apr 2016
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Patsy33

Play Nicely!...

There is discord in the orchestra. In the string section, the guitarist accuses someone in the brass section of blowing their own trumpet, and told him to tone it down. The trumpeter looked at...
10:46 Tue 05th Apr 201636 answers, last by Patsy33 23:22 Tue 05th Apr 2016

1781 to 1800 of 1936

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