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Patsy33

1781 to 1800 of 1935

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Patsy33
My Uncle got squashed by a piano. His funeral will be very low key.....
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Patsy33
In the pantomime, I got to play the back end of a bumble bee. I thought I was the bee's knees........
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Patsy33
A guy I know came up to me and a group of friends and said, "I heard you've been talking about me, you disgust me!" I said, "Yes, we did"...........
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Patsy33
A man who took an airline company to court after his luggage went missing has lost his case.....
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Patsy33
On holiday I walked into the sea holding a jar of salsa. I had some very funny looks from people. One man said, " What ARE you doing?" I said, " I'm taking a dip"..........
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Patsy33
My friend said to me, "Does every sentence have to contain a vegetable?" I said, " Not necess-celery"......
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Patsy33
A friend dressed up as a small island off of Italy. He said " What do you think?" " I said don't be Sicily"!......
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Patsy33
I went to Sooty's barbacue. I had a sweep steak......
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Patsy33
A woman walks into a pharmacy and asks the pharmacist for some arsnic. He asks "What for?" "I want to kill my husband" He says " Sorry, I can't do that" She then reaches into her handbag and pulls out...
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Patsy33
1.A homeless person might say this; W E I L M H T M H 2.Words from a loving sibling maybe; H A H H M B...
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Patsy33
I took my grandchildren to our local farm, as the Farmer Mr. Barnyard, kindly said we could visit anytime. My neighbours warned me he likes to gossip, a muckraker......
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Patsy33
I accidentally dropped a chip on moody daughter's shoulder while having dinner. Looking at her I said, " You've got a chip on your shoulder" She got angry and all defensive saying it must be my fault....
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Patsy33
Anyone seen trailer of new Ricky Gervais film? It's called Life on The Road, which is out in August. David Brent returns to the Office all excited to tell everyone about his new life in a band....
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Patsy33
1. Prep a pal on two points about possible amusement for child.(5,5) 2.Ground coffee lets a warm touch materialise. (4,6) 3.Precocious company was thrown out. It was priceless! (8) 4.For something...
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Patsy33
I was wondering the other day what our parents must have done for entertainment before television was popular and affordable! I asked my 38 brothers and sisters if they had any ideas, but none of them...
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Patsy33
Someone's just thrown a bottle of Omega 3 tablets at me. I only received super fish oil injuries. I could have been krilled......
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Patsy33
Daffy duck calls down to the hotel desk and asks for a condom. The person on phone asks if he should put it on his bill. "Don't be thupid you thilly man. I'll thuffocate!".......
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Patsy33
My wife has just left me. She said I was obsessed with cricket. It's really hit me for six.
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Patsy33
There is discord in the orchestra. In the string section, the guitarist accuses someone in the brass section of blowing their own trumpet, and told him to tone it down. The trumpeter looked at...
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Patsy33
"How do you become a mummy?" asked little Tommy to his mother. "Oh god, here we go" she thought. So she awkwardly began to explain. "Well, two people who love each other, like mummy and daddy, get...

1781 to 1800 of 1935

First Previous 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 Next Last