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Voltage

1281 to 1300 of 1741

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Voltage
My sister wants to cry. I have a crisis!...
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Patsy33
This morning, I saw this bloke with a 1.2-litre engine halfway down his arm. I said "More power to your elbow!"......
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waterboatman
Thursday. It's lashing down outside. I hope it stops before I go out. I'm picking up the wee white tornado at eight, my friends are due at about nine, but knowing them it will be ten! :o} Whenever, it...
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Patsy33
The other day I sat on my hairdryer. That put the wind up me!
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queenofmean
Almost ready to go, just the small matter of a blood test in the morning and work before I get one last sleep before my jollies. I NEED this break....
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marval
A gentleman walked briskly into the chemist. He strode over to the pharmacist and said, "I would like a box of Sex-Lax." The pharmacist smiled and replied, "You must mean Ex-Lax." "No," the man...
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Bathsheba
to anyone I may have snapped at or been a smart-mouth to. I've been ill, but there's lots of poorly people on here who manage without causing offence, so that's no excuse. :( Sorry.x x Baths x x x...
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Bazile
My girlfriend tried to make me have sex on the bonnet her Honda Civic. I refused... If I’m going to have sex, it’s going to be on my own Accord....
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whiskeryron
A drunk goes into a bar & says "Giss a Pint". The barman says " *** off" & the drunk replies " I'll have a whiskey then"....
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Voltage
How did the farmer find out his wife was cheating? He Tractor....
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Shaglene
A DEA officer stopped at a ranch in Texas, and talked with an old rancher. He told the rancher, "I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs." The rancher said, "Okay, but don't go in that...
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Voltage
Remember when plastic surgery was a taboo subject? Now you mention Botox and nobody raises an eyebrow....
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Rtaxron
in control panel display, where you can change your font sizes for addresses, title, & menu bars. It was a box near the bottom of the display/change settings, which has about 5 different title slots,...
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Bazile
I bought a dog off a blacksmith today. As soon as I got it home, it made a bolt for the door....
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Voltage
I can't find my "Gone in 60 Seconds" DVD. It was here a minute ago....
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anthro-nerd
After all the excitement, delicious food, friends and family, Christmas for me is a really wonderful and magical time of year. Now that it's over, I thin I have a case of the Christmas blues, if such...
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Patsy33
I was in the army once and the Sergeant said to me: ‘What does surrender mean?’ I said: ‘I give up!'”...
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Patsy33
https://goo.gl/images/9SK4pX...
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emmie
its blooming cold down here, what's it like at yours....

1281 to 1300 of 1741

First Previous 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 Next Last