Hospital Bed At Home

[Thisoldbird]

It's looking like we may have to have a hospital bed at home when my husband is discharged from hospital.

We already changed from double to singles which is fine but they are both against a wall. Hospital bed will need to allow nurses/ carers to use both side of bed..our second very tiny bedroom is already crammed with other equipment he needs.

Before anyone down sizes make sure you keep this sort of situation in mind.
At this rate I'll be sleeping in the shed!!
I'm normally such an organised person I'm hating this disruption.
The other option is go into care. I really haven't the heart to do that to him. It's like turning someone out of there home.

This isnt a question just me rambling on a sleepless night of worry.

[anneasquith]

Hi choux. I wondered if today old bird is maybe spending her time at the hospital.
We may hear from her later .

[choux]

Hello anne, yes I hope so.

[Thisoldbird]

Hello all you very kind people.
Today almost as soon as I arrived the Dr appeared asking to have a word later. He had a meeting first.
Meantime I tried to persuade my husband to take few sips of soup he had been left for lunch. 3 sips and he shook his head, no more. I tried again after a little break but again he refused..saying I'm going die anyway so why do I want to eat!

Later i managed to feed him a tiny pot of jelly. Took a while but he did manage it.
Chat with Dr was ok. He is very young (aren't they all when were old) and very nice. I'm still not 100% of the process for moving from hospital to nursing home but it comes from the NHS continuing care. Once the request is made by the Dr it sets the system into action. Tomorrow the GP and others in the know about his condition go through a checklist assessment to pass, proving H fits the criteria. As it fully funded by the NHS they naturally only use the service when other avenues are searched. In our case I'm pretty ancient and have my own physical disabilities gives us ahead start.
I am hoping its offered via a local nursing home, if not I shall ask to wait til there is a local vacancy. I don't know that's even possible but no harm in asking.
He seemed quite depressed today, a few swear words even..ringing bells that rarely get answered is a big gripe among the lucid patients..
He asked me what I was having for tea..just something from the freezer. He said I wish I was there with you.. oh my, I wanted to scoop him up and take him home. I made the mistake to tell him the flower put by our door and window box are starting to look very pretty...I shall never see them he said..
Worst of all he needed attention from the nurses who rolled him on his side to get to his bottom end..I got the full picture of his weight loss. The hip he fell on is still black and blue..sticks right out tummy a sunken hollow. Legs just bones with thin almost translucent cover.

It's good to write it down. Seems to relieve my feelings letting it all out.
Thank you all again..keep those prayer coming..ideally to end this awful time for a man that has loved life and his family in a quiet unassuming manner. Never asked for much in his life, would give you his last penny. He has suffered enough. He deserves to beat peace and not shunted around to another "home" to end his days. Thankyou. X

[choux]

Hello dear lady, that is quite an insight as to how you are feeling, the pair of you. It becomes more difficult for you, I suspect, to say anything to your beloved that can cheer him, bless his heart. Not nice to see him diminished and bruised.

It sounds that the hospital staff are kind and gentle which is good. You should try and hold out for a local home, especially as you want to be able to see your husband with as little travelling as possible.

Feel free to write as you wish here. Anything that helps you is good. Would you have thought a while ago that "talking" to strangers could be cathartic? I hope it helps you at the end of a long and distressing day to clear your thoughts a little.

Sending you best wishes and continuing with prayers. Take care. x

[choux]

I meant to say you paint a powerful picture of your beloved and I can see you want him to be peaceful once more. God bless.

[jennyjoan]

Your wee unassuming husband seems to just want to be at peace one way or the other and I would assume he would give everything to be at home.

Hopefully oldbird - he gets into a nice care home where you can be with him as often as you like.

Prayers for you tonight too.

[choux]

Hello old bird, an early one from me. I have re-read your post from last night and do wonder how today went. Your dear husband must be feeling more depressed of his situation every day now and I know that will make your visiting hours even more difficult for you. I suspect his meager appetite will diminish too. How I wish I could give you a gentle hug right now. I send you my love and prayers, as always, and wait for your next "diary" log. x

[anneasquith]

I’m assuming our friend is spending another day with her husband . Maybe hear something later choux .

[Thisoldbird]

Hello, yes I spend a few hours with 'the boy' today. His father always called him, the boy.. he was less depressed today which helped me. I attempted to feed him the lunch that was left for him. Two tiny pieces of potato was all he could manage.
No further news on the nursing home. The meeting didn't happen but may tomorrow. No hurrying these people.
He had other visitors pop in today so time went pretty fast. My lovely niece collected me then took me right home. I'm very tired tonight. Virtually 6 weeks visiting daily..just one day off. I'm off to rest my weary old bones. Nite nite

[choux]

Sleep easier knowing he was feeling brighter today. So glad other visitors were there, it does help the time to pass better and bless your niece for driving you. Night night dear lady. x

[anneasquith]

I really hope you rest/ sleep a bit tonight.
Feeding. Ice cream, custard, jelly, thin soup, bovril, ( not all together ) . Any fluids he will tolerate.
I see JJ popped in last night, another one for the prayer group. Take care . Anne .

[albaqwerty]

I've been following your thread, TOB and haven't dared interrupt the erudition of choux and others.
There may be more, like me, who hold you and you husband in their thoughts and prayers than you realise.
xxxx

[anneasquith]

Great to see you Alba ,

[choux]

Hi alba. I am no scholar but write and offer support from a lot of personal experience. I can empathise with so much that old bird writes about.

[albaqwerty]

Hi choux x
Your empathy comes across so clearly and (my use of words can be utter crud!!) with heartfelt sincerity. I just sit and nod and agree with you and say nothing. :)
However, I felt the urge to type last night.

[choux]

No problem, alba and I, for one, am glad you did post. I believe old bird is somewhat heartened and supported by the many who have responded here and that is what this thread has become all about.

[choux]

Hello old bird. I trust you are sleeping now. Prayers and best wishes as ever. x

[Thisoldbird]

Good morning, I was so drained with the excessive heat yesterday. My visit was good as we had a bedside visit from the person arranging the nursing care. Hopefully that will move pretty fast at the start of next week.

He was very sleepy yesterday and very anxious.
I'll visit later..but feeling tence and overtired this morning.

Have a good day and keep cool..x

[choux]

Good morning. I can understand how your dear husband feels. However, I guess you feel somewhat relieved now you have met the care arranger and feel more positive for next week. Did you get any idea of how close the home will be to you?

Yesterday was too hot for my comfort, it is so draining. Today's heat may not be much better but tomorrow is hopefully a lot cooler. Just so long as you got some good rest in last night.

No doubt you will be feeling on tenter hooks for today's visit. I pray he has not been fretting about the move. How is his chest infection responding? I do hope the two of you can have a little chat today to try and ease his mind. Perhaps if he is very sleepy you might be able to have a shorter visit, if I dare suggest it dear friend? Your health is important too. I shall be thinking of you. x

[Thisoldbird]

Thank you choux. I've got ready to call my taxi, but the heat really got me down yesterday, I'm feeling a bit wobbly..I'll leave it an hour or so..

The home I hoped he would go to is a couple of streets away. There is another very new smart home that I know is top of the range expense wise. As his place wherever he goes is fully funded by the NHS I never thought if it as a remote possibility..but as I was leaving the hospital I got a phone call from the gentleman arranging the move to say he had checked on a map and the nearest is the newer home..wow, that would be just perfect. It does however depend on availability and the department to finalise funding. Thank you for thinking of us.