Living dayligthts?

[warpig1]

Ok, who had the living daylights beat out of them as a kid? Not suggesting that this is the best form of parenting but still remember it!

[4getmenot]

yes warpig we are so I�m glad she agrees with me as our parents bought us both up with respect for the world. :-)

[redcrx]

4getmenot was obviously the naughty one cos i really dont remember the smacks that left a red handprint :)

Yes we are sisters warpig but that doesnt mean we could have our own view on smacking and how we were brought up.

[RATTER15]

I think people are missing the point here!!

Why do we need to hit children? we don't need to, we need to learn to talk to children and explain to them the what they are doing is wrong and why, hitting children just cuts out this explaining bit and the time required to teach children the right way to behave.

It works for so many people, it just takes time to sit down and talk rather than lash out.

[redcrx]

sorry could = Couldnt in my last post

[noxlumos]

exactly RATTER. why do people hit kids when there are other non-violent methods that can be implemented with no negative results. Talk to them, yeah even tiny little kids understand, don';t just teach them, that if you are bigger than someone else and piossed off it's ok to hit, because it isn't.You wouldn't do that to an adult who'd upset you, so why to a vulnerable child?

[4getmenot]

But when a child is small and doesn�t understand don�t go near the plug socket or that boiling pan of water then a quick slap on the back of the hand tells them not to do it again.

[4getmenot]

nox can I ask do you think because of you past this is why you dont, do you think if you wernt beaten when younger you would hit a child.

[RATTER15]

Nox, I think that what you say is spot on, obviously what you went through explains a lot about the problems you have had and come to terms with, well done!
I don't think it is likely that many of us have ever endured what Nox has gone through, well hopefully!! this is in the extreme, but violence breeds violence, time and time again it has been proven.

[4getmenot]

When I watch supernanny and other programmes with wayward kids and we discuss it next day at work most of my colleagues say �ooh that kid needed a clip round the ear� and I think most of my friends would agree with smacking. But I don�t agree with parents that hit their child every ten seconds for something so small. But if a child is putting themselves in danger then a smack is not so severe than the damage they could be doing to themselves.

[4getmenot]

if violence breeds violence how come me and redcrx have never been in trouble with the law in our whole lives. I have respect for people.

[4getmenot]

what effect did this have then nox, do you think his violence towards you turned into violence as ratter said

[RATTER15]

4getmenot, I am not saying that every person who was smacked is going to go out and attack people, that is silly. what I am saying is a child that was brought up being slapped or smacked is more likely to bring their children up the same way. There are kinder ways to bring up children that doesnt revolve around smacking, with a more positive result!!

Wouldn't you like to be able to say, and be proud to say that you have never had the need to smack your child?

It makes me feel proud!

[4getmenot]

Every child plays up and I wouldnt feel bad at all to say I had to give them a smack. I would feel prouder that I'm not a pushover and my children will treat me with respect the Way I did my mum. I don�t think we will ever agree on the smacking issue but I know I�m not a bad person for thinking this way and I know when I have children I will be one of the best mothers about :-) Which I�m sure you are too, we all have different ways of brining up our children on how we were bought up ourselves.

[noxlumos]

My kids have respect for people too and they've NEVER been hit or even yelled at. Very small kids CAN be spoken to, we have electrical sockets in our house and our littlies don't touch them because as soon as a kid is mobile enough you should have socket guards, stair gates etc and from under a year they understand the word NO, said sternly with strong eye contact. As they grow you can explain why in more detail. We've never had kids poking their fingers into sockets, you guard against accidental scenarios as much as possible surely?
I don't think I would have hit my children even if my father hadn't been the psycho he was to be honest. I really dislike violence and cannot see the logic in it in parenting. My fist wife would have hit our kids had I not stopped her and she used to yell, which distressed me almost as much butmy second has this wonderful manner of quiet authority yet being very laid back at the same time, which kids really thrive with.
The nearest I ever came recently to hitting anyone was a bloke in the street who smacked a little girl ( only the once mind) about 3, right off her feet then hauled her back up and told her to stop crying or he'd give her something to cry about, then belted her again because she couldn't stop crying. That's not parenting, and he'll teach that to her and she'll use it on her own kids like as not.that's my problem with smacking, it normalises something that shouldn't be there at all.

[4getmenot]

Or father, I'm not sure on your gender yet :-)

[4getmenot]

are you saying that if I smacked my children I wouldnt be a good mother or because you dont you are a better parent?

[noxlumos]

Soem very decent , very nice people belt their kids, and it doesn't make them bad people, often they genuinely believe it;s the approriate thing to do, and often their kdis are very nice as well, I'm not arguing it is an acceted method of child rearing and can have positive results often, but why hit when you cearly don't have to, that's what I never understand?

[4getmenot]

And how come everybody on page 1 who agreed they�d smack their child has now ran off :-) I�ve said my point and I respect nox and ratters views as I know you are decent people but I will treat my children the same way I was treated as I know I havnt turned out that bad :-) Over and out. xx

[PinkFizz]

My dad never had to hit me - he had this way of looking at me that would stop me in my tracks.But my mother was more heavy handed and impatient,and she would frequently whack me round my bare legs with a plastic shoe horn,for the silliest things.I can still remember the stinging pain to this day.

As for my little one,yes he has had the odd smack on the bottom in the past,but I can't remember the last time I needed to do this - usually speaking to him is all that is needed now.

[redcrx]

i didnt run away. I stated my views and alloyed everyone else to state theirs. As i said there are many shade of grey and i respect the opinion of those that choose to smack and those that choose not to. Thos i dont respect are the parents who beat the hell out of their kids.
Oh and Nox i do try to reason with my son and usually it does work, its not often he gets a smack.