Living dayligthts?

[warpig1]

Ok, who had the living daylights beat out of them as a kid? Not suggesting that this is the best form of parenting but still remember it!

[loobie]

Sorry 4get I was busy!! I agree with everything you've said darling and I can also absolutely see Nox and Ratter's opinions clearly. And i don't agree with what that guy done nox!! That's overstepping the mark in my view. I guess until I have kids I won't really know how i'll be as it might all change when they flutter they're little lashes at me!! I promise to come back when I've popped them out in a few years and inform you of my take on parenting!!!

[PinkFizz]

I'm still here! I respect parents who don't smack at all,and also those who find that the odd smack on bum is necessary,but what I simply don't agree with is the parents who give their kids a good hiding,and scream and shout/swear at them - that is terrible.

[Carakeel]

Well, the only time I was beaten as a child was in boarding school. My parents had been told that the school did not allow physical punishment, but that didn't stop some of the nuns! If we were a minute late for mass or anything else, a thin bamboo cane was used on the backs of our legs or across the backs of our fingers with great force. It was incredibly painful and sometimes left us bleeding! It used to terrify me. Another way of dealing with us not sitting up absolutely straight at the table was for the head nun to make a fist and punch her knuckles into our spine as hard as she could. It used to take my breath and make me dizzy.

The day I finally told my father what was going on he took me out of that school. My mum was never loud to us but I remember she did give us a smack on the bum on the very rare occasion. My father never raised his voice or his hand to us ever and it was he who had our greatest respect!!! He would sit you down and discuss the matter with you in a calm way.

I always tried to use my father's approach, making sure the talks didn't go on for longer than their attention span at the time. If I was too annoyed to do it calmly, I told my kids we would talk when I had calmed down as I was too upset with them. I think they sometimes found the waiting worse than any punishment. Until recently I thought I had given a smack on the extremely rare occasion, but my kids claim they don't remember my ever doing it. I know I was never any good at getting loud and angry with them though. I'm sooo much like my dad I guess and glad for it.

Nox, my heart really goes out to you. You should never have had to go through all that! I can so understand why things went wrong for you for a while and I think you should be so very proud that you recognised the problems and decided to change your life around, not follow in your father's footsteps. You are much more of a man than he ever was! Big hug!! :o)

[RATTER15]

4getmenot, I would never suggest that you would not make a very good mother or that your parents were not good parents, but wouldnt it be nice to not hit children?? come on be honest!! there is an alternative, it just take a little more time and dedication.

Im a Father by way lol

[PinkFizz]

My partner had a very similar childhood to Nox,he also had his skull fractured by his own father.As a father himself now,I have only seen him smack her once,and that was when she had been incredibly rude,but he says that he isn't again smacking ,the odd occasion he feels it is necessary,but only a quick smack on the bottom.

[4getmenot]

yes it would but would also be nice to have perfect children, :-) I'm not saying I would smack at every oppurtunity, they would get a talking to but if they still misbehaved then they would get a smack.

[ummmm]

I think Ratter and Warpig are missing the point. There's a world of difference between smacking your kids on the bum and beating them. 'It never did me any harm' comes from people who were smacked not beaten.

I was sent to my room
Got grounded
Explanations
Made to do chores etc. etc.

If I done it again I was smacked.

There was no bruises and no verbal abuse.....'I have warned you and warned you so now' Wallop. On the bum.

We knew why, we understood why. That's why it never done us any harm

[noxlumos]

Thank you Carakeel. Were you educated in Ireland by any chance, sounds an awfully familiar way of education, my elder sisters had similar experiences to yours?
You can thank my wife for my turn around, she was the one who saw something different and had faith in me, when I had none myself , and I put her through hell at the time as well, so three cheers for her actually :)

[ummmm]

Just to point out about the youth of today. Does any of you remember all that went on between the mods and the punks? Not alot has changed. They just wear hoodies now!

[noxlumos]

The thing is wardy I WAS from that sub-culture of poverty. I was born just off the Falls Road, we had sod all in terms of money or much else. I understand why poverty leads to anti-social behaviour, I understand it clearly, and I was NOT a nice young man by anyone's standards, but teaching your kids that violence is normal by hitting them when they don't do what you want them to, only propagates that undercurrent of ghettoism that you are discussing. I got the hell out of poverty because there as no way that was happening to my children. I'm not a talented man by any means, not skilled, not clever but I did make the decision that by hook or by crook my children would have a better, gentler existance than I did. Just because you are poor does not mean you have to be indecisive or your own victim.

[PinkFizz]

What a refreshing change - no arguing over a deep subject - just a decent debate! Hurrah!!

Tea and biccies all round.xx

[ummmm]

Howya Nox. My Nan was born on Shankill Road!

But I was born in Tipp

Up Tipp

[Scanning]

What about staff at the office if they don't do some work right?... do you think this would make a difference to their work performance?. I know there isn't a lot you can do with "dead wood" as such, but some have a little potetional to be better, wondering if smacking them would motivate them to work harder?

[ummmm]

Try it Scanning and see!

[noxlumos]

Ah now Wardy that's a slightly different thing. If a man sized 15 year old lad jumps me in a dark alley I'm going to kick the living sh1te out of him, there's no question of that, and I have on occasions had run ins with people , mostly late teenegaers who have offerred violence to me first and clearly think they are "it", and yeah like you I did give em a damn good kicking, because they took it upon themselves to start.I've got no issue with people retaliating if they are abused or attacked. I was saying that it actually helps those attackers reach their thuggish potential if that's what they get at home.As a soldier surely you appreciate that you are probably not as shocked by extreme vionece because in many ways it's normalised to you, just like it is with me. that's all i'm saying, it's simple logic. If kids see violence in almost any degree, then it becomes normal, and what becomes normal is easier to do, hence you have a yob on your hands.

[noxlumos]

Hiya Ummm, by the way.

[PinkFizz]

So nobody wants a cup of tea then? < walks off feeling very dejected>