Advice please...... :-)

[jammiedodger]

Hello all, I need advice to kind of get one over on someone with words.... im not too good with arguements etc and what to say!

Story is....... about this time last year I was single and fed up so decided to get in touch with my ex, not knowing he had a new gf. I kind of over reacted as he didnt wanna know and kept emailing him and dumped the stuff he had bought me outside his house. His gf got involved and started texting me etc.

I have a new boyfirend and haven't contacted him since then until a few weeks ago where I sent him a msg on a website saying 'hi how r u?' and then again after I saw him driving, none of which he replied to.

Thing is his gf has started sending me msgs like 'leave us alone' etc and 'stop pestering us' also ont he website. Personally, 2 msgs to me doesnt constitute pestering, just asking how someone is, no innuendos, no nothing!

I dont care about my ex anymore but get annoyed when his gf thinks she can send me these msgs. I am happy with my new bloke, very happy infact, but stuff like this just gets me all wound up!

I want to show her I dont care about them so does anyone have any ideas on what I cud write or how to handle the situation???

P.S. Please dont just tell me to leave it and not reply to the msgs, I want to annoy her, the vile B****!!!

[jammiedodger]

lol, now who being immature!

[Doc Spock]

quite right unrulijulie.
A lot of people on here do seem to take sides rather than express their personal opinion.

[Champagne]

Okay, leaving the bunny boiler comments behind and accepting that there is obviously more to this story...

I still think that any retaliation from your side is going to make you look foolish and also that you haven't moved on. So what if his new g/f is texting you? She's dangling a carrot that you should definitely not bite. Your ex may have been the first to initiate contact, and has since withdrawn this. Yes, that is callous of him, but at least now you know that he only turns to you when HE is needy and doesn't consider your feelings or emotions as a result. So you've learnt your lesson about him. Delete his/her details as contacts and leave them well and truly in the past.

It'll make you a bigger better person. Trust me.

[jammiedodger]

thanks for the advice Champagne, I appreciate it

[Rubyrose]

Tiny.... I actually thought you were one of the nice ones but after that I have thought 2 things.. 1 - I had you totally wrong and have mixed you up with someone else or 2 - some spotty little teenager has just hijacked your account!

Julie, I am not saying we should all agree with this but the way you lot handled the replies was rude, abrupt and downright viscious! (sp?)

Why does everyone take everything so serisously on here now? You have to be so careful what you say and how you say it other wise people can misconstrue the smallest joke into something huge! I didn't say I'd do it, I'd become a bunny boiler... I said I'd feel like I'd want to text her something nasty purely because she is getting involved and while, as his new partner, she may feel she has every right too... in my eyes I'd be thinking 'Who are you to be getting involved?'

[feist]

In the same way Ruby, who are you to text this person from your past in the first place?

[Doc Spock]

I think we can all agree that that was a very interesting hour.

[laurence2]

Christ.

I'm back from the school run, and your still harping on about your ex {JD}.

You give the ones who agree with you stars as well as praise rubyrose, but the rest who ''did' give advice don't seem to understand the situation.

Its clearly revenge you seek with the ex, and if you cannot get at him, attack the gf.

Get over it for gods sake

[jammiedodger]

me? harping on? well sorry Laurence2 that people have been posting replies for the last hour or so..... at least iv given them something to talk about

next time i'll set a time limit so that u dont thin i have been harping on.

[unruliejulie]

My opinion is just move on. This sort of thing can escalate so quickly and doesnt do anyone any favours in the long run.

You have a new partner too so just accept that there is no friendship now. Its over and you will feel a lot better for it. This will eat you up and make you bitter if you carry on with daft messages.

Send one last text if you recieve another and tell her this will be the last time you respond to either of them, be poilte and walk away with your head held high.

Good luck and put your energy into making your new bloke happy ;-).

[Rubyrose]

You know what Spock... you are very right!
I happen to know this for a fact! The last few threads of mine that created problems (the one about fancying a married man mainly) was bombarded with messages from people saying it was wrong and stuff and some people saying I wasn't in the wrong at all.. but everyone seemed to jump on the 'have a go at Ruby bandwagon' and I have since found out that a lot of people on here actually agreed with me that I wasn't doing anything wrong but were too scared (their words) to say anything as they know how viscious people on this site can get! And some of them.......... are sleeping with married men as we speak! But once again.... I was argueing the case on my own!

I think when people are too scared to post their own views on a flipping website for fear of ridicule...... the abuse on this site has gone to far!

[unruliejulie]

well Ruby, that's the diversity of AB for ya!

I think jammiedodger got some good advice on this thread even if some of it wasnt what she wanted to hear particularly but that's why we ask advice.

[Octavius]

�I want to show her I don�t care about them�

Then ignoring them as if they don�t exist is surely the best demonstration of an uncaring person?

[feist]

Abuse??? lol

People are only afraid if they think they may be in or have done something wrong, but everyone can post. Opinions are there to be argued and discussed not just agreed to and awarded with 3 stars!!

[Emz26]

jammie - Just think carefully before you do or say anything. The last thing you want is the police landing on your doorstep. x

[Rubyrose]

Laurence - There is a difference between giving advice and having a go at someone and putting them down and totally judging them. The most anyone who disagrees should have said was 'I don't think thats a good idea'... not calling her a b!tch!

Feist - Who the hell says I can't text my ex and ask him how he is? Ex he may be but after years together, why shouldn't I be allowed to text him? Where's the rule book on that one coz I'd love to see it! I still get texts from ex's asking how things are! Does that make them bunny boilers!

Yes personally I think his girlfriend over reacted by telling Jammie she was pestering them! Two texts doesn't even come close! I have been pestered by a partners ex and he was too and it's far worse. I'd have been grateful of just 2 texts!

I think the reason you get spurred on in a situation like this is coz you share something special with someone and then any chance of a friendship is terminated and while that may not have bothered you, the fact that it hasn't been terminated on your terms, but theirs instead, makes it worse!

[Champagne]

Rubes, what's gotten into you darlin'? Are you still seething from that married man thread? So what if people ganged up on you? It's your life!

I've asked for relationship advice on here too and had some harsh/truthful comments. The majority of people usually are right too, but the person posting the question is usually too blinded with emotional attachment to see things with clarity. That's just love for you.

It's like jammie's question here. She would not have an iota of the need for vengeance in her body if it wasn't for the fact that some buried past emotions were being stirred up here. Otherwise, she'd walk away and probably be laughing at the whole scenario.

[Rubyrose]

Very true Feist but does a discussion mean you can be rude and call someone a vile b!tch and expect them to carry on discussing as happy as larry? That's not discussion! That's abuse!

[feist]

Umm, it was jammie who used that term in her post above in the first place. If you can dish it out.....

Anyway, no you cant post your ex, get on with your life. You sound really clingy, live in the present not the past, dear.