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tradey | 16:02 Thu 08th Feb 2007 | Relationships & Dating
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please i need some advice,when i was 15 i fell pregnant had my son at the age of 16,i was with my sons father just before my son turned 2,i meet this great lad who im still with now after 21yrs,the thing is ive never told my son this isnt his biological dad,hes going out with a girl whos in her last year at school someone has come up to her today and said that hes my sons brother,my son has been on the phone to me asking questions as his girlfriend has told him what this boys said,please i need help what do i do,i could cry my hubbys away working,do i carry on telling my son its all a lie ignor whats being said,god i really really need advice,my son has also said this lads dads got my sons birth cirtificut,ive got it its got my madan name on it and no fathers name help me please
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You must tell him the truth, tradey.

I was brought up by my stepdad (who later adopted me) from the age of 3. I was told right from the start that he wasn't my biological father, but was brought up with my mother lying through her teeth about my bio father.

I recently met up with him, and to be honest for the first time in my life I feel 'complete' in my parentage. I don't wish to take anything away from the man who raised me (he is still dad to me) but I feel I was robbed by not knowing my real father.

I know this is a different situation, but I think your son still needs to know the truth...it was bound to come oout eventually and it's a shame it didn't come from you right from the start :o(
Question Author
years ago my son needed it for something for school he asked why his name was my madan name i just said when i had him i was young and my dad which he did said dont put the fathers name on as you never know you may not last thats the reason i didnt have it put on,ive left a message for my hubby to ring me,i feel sick
tradey if hes always had a different surname then you will probably find that he may have worked it out by now that his dad isnt his biological father. he may just not have mentioned it before because hes happy with his life and he didnt want to upset you. Now that he has a possible brother it may mean that he wants to know and its the right time to get everything out in the open.
please excuse my cynicism, but wasn't he 21 in September last year? ...
http://www.theanswerbank.co.uk/Body-and-Soul/Q uestion295289.html

And does this really, really sound like a 39 year old?

I mean, look at the punctuation, grammar and spelling ...

And note the time ...do we have a ''just got in from school'' sympathy seeking troll here?
Question Author
we changed my sons name through de poll when he was 6 it says he was to be know by my hubbys name at all times.im off now cant take any more need to get my head around this thankyou again to you all
busted
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im 38 my sons 22 god i made him one year older than he is
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this is real im being very serious about this,i knew there would be someone out there that wouldnt believe me,so what my spelling isnt great but is everyones,i needed help on this not to be put down about spelling
i dont think so naz, its not the sort of thing a schoolage troll would get any joy out of posting.
I'm not putting you down, I just don't believe what you're saying is the truth ... I would dearly love to be corrected on this matter, at which time my deepest apologies will flood forth, and I will become grossly obese on a mountain of humble pie.
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bloody hell he was 22 last year in october.there is that ok for you now.i just neede advice and most of you gave it me thankyou x
tradey has posted many times on 'family', and has been around for a while.

I have no reason to doubt integrity.

tradey, just talk to him ~ honestly. To try and get out of it all by telling lies will only come round and bite you on the ass one day...just as it has now.

Get it all out in the open, let him have a rant, cry etc then let him go..he may need an incredible amount of time o work this all out in his head.
Tradey hs posted on here for ages and I've never found her to be a weirdo, an attention seeker or anyone whose ever done anything wrong, so why feel the need to be so bloody rude Naz?
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im not going to tell you all this just for the fun of it,its the truth, something ive had to live with for years but if some of you want to think this is a joke then god help you if ever you need serious advice on here,i feel like running away at this point of time,just dont know how to go about it x
nox ...it's not true
Naz.
tradey has been here a while now and is genuine.

tradey, is it possible that this boy, who claims to be your sons 1/2 brother, really is his 1/2 brother?

I take it your ex from all those years ago is still in the same neighbourhood then.

Your son is an adult. Tell him the truth. He may have a brother out there.
Ok folks ...I promise I'll never mention this anomaly again ... you're all convinced and that's what matters ...

Don't waste time answering me, I'm not coming back to this post ...
Question Author
im not 39 im 38 not 40 for another 2yrs.
yep hes around and has never in all the years ever wanted to know my son,i see his bothers now and again and they dont even ask anyone could have said something years ago why now after all this time has someone got ot open their mouths,as for you naz mind my french **** off ive never said this to anyone on here but your the first,like i said before i wanted advice not to be pulled apart by you or anyone,sorry if ive offended anyone for speaking like this but it had to be said to naz
Sorry Naz that link proves Tradey IS 39.
What exactly is the point on this? She's upset and some of us on here do have very complicated family situations like this, so why not just not take part if you doubt her integrity eh?

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