Affair with a married man/woman

[Miss Chief]

Do you think there are any circumstances under which the above is acceptable/excusable?

[ummmm]

Cazzz....I did say it wasn't acceptable and if someone cheated on me (as the person I am now) I'd be out the door like a shot. I do know of people that have done it and it definitely wasn't for excitement or to hurt someone. Listening to his reasons made me understand that things are just not that simple.

[Ankou]

no, know - wouldn't that be like... rape?

[No,Knowledge]

why serious answers Leggy?
this Q is not about an individual , have you found God?

(the real one)

[joggerjayne]

Leggy ...

I gave my serious answer ... (post 32).

The thread is being taken for a walk, and I'm happy to go with it.

Okay? Pals?

No,Kno ... I simply cannot see the appeal of Jennifer A.

Not attractive ... at all.

Zero.

Zilch.

[legend-isgod]

Ummmm theres no Whole story.If you want to be with someone else then you leave.End of.

Theres a million excuses such as when the times right , after hte kids are older .
etc etc etc


Ultimately they are that .EXCUSES.



Storys simple you want someone else etc then get single.


Its not rocket science is it?

[sqad617]

pastafreak......"good enough" has nothing to do with the question....read it again.

May not be "good enough" for you, but what about the hundreds of thousands that donit every day?

[Ankou]

are there vibra, gis an example anmd let us decide.

[cazzz1975]

its less hurtful to end the relationship than for the husband or wife to find out that their marriage has been a joke, cheating is the easy route, being strong enough to recognise and walk away from a bad relationship takes balls

[China Doll]

I think the wording isn't quite right Miss Chief, accceptable or excusable I'm not sure I can get on board with. 'Understandable' however, then yes, I think there's certainly a case for that because there can be variables.

Examples.

Married couple, one has altzimers (sp) and can't remember the other partner let alone be a proper companion so they meet and have a relationship with another. They're still married but it's cheating and to my mind perfectly understandable.

A couple going through a divorce but not yet completed but living seperate lives. One of them meets someone else during this time and a relationship ensues. The married couple start to resolve differences, the other relationship is discontinued and get back together. They were still married so effectively cheating but still understandable. (This one I can speak from experience on having technically been the 'other woman').

A relationship where one member has lost their sex drive completely and allows the other to fufill their needs elsewhere. Again, it's still cheating but by mutual consent and understanding.

These are a few examples I can think of on the spot but I'm sure others could think of more. Is it acceptable or excusable to get your end away for a night because you think you won't get caught or there's problems at home and you want some relief? Absolutely not. But it's not always black and white either and before a judgement is made facts need to be established.

Relationships are always very subjective to the people involved and while I think a good friend is always a sounding board and can offer advice or an opinion if asked, I think sweeping generalisations are better avoided. No one ever really knows for sure what goes on behind closed doors.

[pastafreak]

If you are saying sqad that the sex is crap....but you still love her......then try to sort it out!
i you don't love her...then leave,and you can have all the uncomplicated sex ( if there is such a thing ) you want.

[legend-isgod]

ummmm the problem with folk that cheat is they are very articulate liars and storytellers.

So much so they even managed to convince themselves its OK.


Its never ever OK.

Like i say if you want someone else then get out.

I'm trying real hard to see your point of view .But failing miserably.


Worst case scenario if your long term partner was either suffering from serious senile dementia or was in an irreversible vegetative state then possibly there may be reasons why you would seek love , companionship, sex even.

But surely that's a totally different thing from Miss chiefs thread which appears at first look to be a question about having an affair so you can hump someones partner.

now.

Did any of that make sense?

[ummmm]

Sqad....it's not just about sex.

[Ankou]

vibra, they are both just excuses.
perhaps if they talked to their partner about these feelings then an affair would not have happened, but no, they decided just to have an affair, then excuse it.

so one could just say that they were looking for an affair and then looking for reasons to make excuses.

[legend-isgod]

China on same track as me there.But the thread thus far has been more about folk perfectly aware and getting their thing on.


As in ankous case and the other past cheaters quoted.

[joggerjayne]

That made good sense, Leggy

(especially as you're a bit gwumpy this afternoon)

=0)

[sqad617]

cazz...nonsense...........why should an affair ens a relationship which is not necassarily a bad one and please don't say that if it was a good one then one partner wouldn't find the nned to cheat.

The question should have been:

Why is infidelity so rife?

The answer would be because the emotion of sex is so strong, particularly for the male.