Can I tell you a secret?

[bobjugs12]

I've had enough now. I've had a few beers (yes I know drinking on your own isn't sensible lol), and I've decided to spill my soul. Who better to spill it to than people that will a) not judge and b) not know me personally.

I've bragged on here a few times about my conquests, and my ability with the ladies (lol) and to be honest I have.
However, i'm really lonely. I've been trying to fill the void in my life with meaningless sex, and by chatting up vulnerable women i've met on plentyoffish. Since my marriage broke down a couple of years ago I've had a 'serious' relationship, and she ended up a psycho, but i even miss the company of her (i didn't even like her that much, but at least I had someone to cuddle up to at night and share a dinner with). Other than her though, all i've had is one-nighters and quick flings.

I'm not a fussy person, and I don't have unobtainable standards, but I can't meet someone else. I'm not ugly, needy, or smelly; I have a nice car, a decent job, I'm a good dad and a nice bloke. Why do I keep going down the one-night route. Why when I meet a woman who I think I'd like to get to know in more than just a sexual way do I fail

Am I still hung up on my ex wife? If so, how does she still have this much control? If this a personality thing on my part then how do I figure out what it is and change it? God i'm confused!

Somebody help me please

[NoMercy]

But that's just it, Bob, you are terrified of having a relationship with ANY woman, in case history repeats itself. I've been there.

[bobjugs12]

I now what you mean wizard. It's hard going away mate, and sometimes can be even harder coming home. Do you mind if I ask how long you were in for?

[tamborine]

You dont deserve to be ousted but it's done. Realities are you have kids at a young age; that's a frightening position for a 'new' young woman; she would have to love you and your kids. Less chance for her having a full family as you've already got that.

I can see your compassionate & deeply hurt, you've had a cruel blow. While you heal, live for your children. Keep your dignity for that special woman who is probably watching you and will reveal herself once she feels your worth her care. Your position is to 'earn' respect rather than demand by 1nite stands. You're too nice to be lonely.....my bet is you'll find someone soon & be a pair by Xmas.

[bobjugs12]

I knwo the whole idea of my kids can be a problem, made even worse by the fact that my ex persuaded me to have the snip as well

[sara3]

I think you're looking too far ahead. take it easy and get to know someone. not everyone wants kids, and you could look at getting the op reversed if it came to that.

or you could consider an older woman, wink wink ;o)

[tamborine]

There are lots of lone mums on here.....who would love to share their lives with a caring man - be one & they will find you.

[Mick-Talbot]

bob why the rush? I was 27 before i met the person i eventually married.
5 happy years of marriage . shame about the other ten though.

[bobjugs12]

Sara, older, younger, doesn't really matter. I'm after someone I can actually talk to, lol

Wizard, fair enough mate. I can appreciate that. there are things I've done that i can't talk about.

Mick, it's not about a rush mate, i'm just feeling incrediably lonely atm

Tambo, I cn't really use this place as a dting site. After the sh1te i've posted, a woman is gonna have to be insane to be interested lol

[tamborine]

Mick-Talbot...lol - I love my independance after 40y, I'll settle for the sex not the socks ;)

[ummmm]

Bob....what you have posted to date makes you appealing. If I wasn't all loved up....!!!!

[pericat]

Bob - I just want to say you sound like really nice, sound guy - what about dating agencies ? I know nothing about this btw just wondering !

[bobjugs12]

CC, I got mine done because we had all three of our kids by c-section.
The docs said that another pregnancy could be fatal to my ex wife, so we decided that the safest way to proceec was for me to get the snip. Since the split a new doc has told her it's ok to have another one, and now shes trying for a new baby with her new man

Ummmm, i'm flattered thanks. Hoonestly though, i'm a bit of an emotional prat

[ummmm]

Lonely is a state of mind....!!

Wiz...you've had a sh!t time recently. I admire your positive attitude.