Can I tell you a secret?

[bobjugs12]

I've had enough now. I've had a few beers (yes I know drinking on your own isn't sensible lol), and I've decided to spill my soul. Who better to spill it to than people that will a) not judge and b) not know me personally.

I've bragged on here a few times about my conquests, and my ability with the ladies (lol) and to be honest I have.
However, i'm really lonely. I've been trying to fill the void in my life with meaningless sex, and by chatting up vulnerable women i've met on plentyoffish. Since my marriage broke down a couple of years ago I've had a 'serious' relationship, and she ended up a psycho, but i even miss the company of her (i didn't even like her that much, but at least I had someone to cuddle up to at night and share a dinner with). Other than her though, all i've had is one-nighters and quick flings.

I'm not a fussy person, and I don't have unobtainable standards, but I can't meet someone else. I'm not ugly, needy, or smelly; I have a nice car, a decent job, I'm a good dad and a nice bloke. Why do I keep going down the one-night route. Why when I meet a woman who I think I'd like to get to know in more than just a sexual way do I fail

Am I still hung up on my ex wife? If so, how does she still have this much control? If this a personality thing on my part then how do I figure out what it is and change it? God i'm confused!

Somebody help me please

[bobjugs12]

Where abouts in England are you looking at settling?

[NoMercy]

Probably in the Birmingham area initially - it's quite central for me. I do have all my family in Hereford, but one can be too near their family if you know what I mean ;-)

Hey... I might get to go out for a coffee with Cazzz1975 !

[zzxxee]

right straight talk cut to the chase..............
1..... until you learn to work out who you are and what you want you will only bring negativity to a prospective relasionship.
2....... you say you are lonely try meeting friends and not viewing every woman you meet as a possible bed buddy/partner
3...... its not that your not meeting nice girls its just you have a problem in not being able to move on
so you need to work out if
1... you are not over your marrige
2... your trying to hard

if you feel lonely you will not fill the void by bed hopping try joining some social circles do you like sport is there a club or something e.g tennis then you would have a common interest an ice breaker
relasionships on line are not always the best idea try working on getting to love yourself more start gaining some self love and then bang the confidence will ooze and miss right will come when your least looking xxxxx

[ummmm]

I'll hop on the train and meet you NoM :-)

[NoMercy]

Hey... I've had many a good night out in Brum, Ummmm. We should have a night on the tiles, eh !

[society]

Were you prepared for all this advice, Bobjugs? :-)


From what you have said, it sounds like you are pressuring yourself into settling down with the ‘right’ person. You are still young do not rush into anything, take life one-step at a time. The ideal person will come into your life when the time is right. Remember life is what we make of it.

[bobjugs12]

Lol Docspock,.
zzxxee, thanks for your brutal honesty. I think tbh that i'm over my wife but not my marriage if that makes sense. I miss the warmth and closeness of a relationship. Maybe thats causing me to try to hard with the girls I actually want a relationship with, and I fill the void with girls that i'm not interested in.

[Bbbananas]

I absolutely agree with what society has just put. There is no rush at your age, or at any age in fact. Just go with the flow bob,,,, and I hope you're putting a coat on?

[bobjugs12]

One thing that is infuriating though is people saying that my age has something to do with anything.

I was married for 8 years and have three kids. I've lived a life twice as full as some people double my age, and consequenly just want to be normal now.

[ummmm]

I've never been out in Birmingham. Isn't Mercia doing the food fair in Brum? If we whisper *I'm an answerbanker* we get a discount....

[NoMercy]

I think you miss the solidity of a relationship more than anything, bob. If you keeping looking for it, you won't find it. Stop the one-night-stands and just wait until you meet a girl you like.

[yogi-bear]

Morning Bob,

It's been said before....but the right lady will come along eventually, and she'll be lucky to meet you, mate, as i think you have a lot to offer her.....just be patient and enjoy life to the full until that happens....... and i wish you the best of luck. :0)

yoges X ( that is not a homosexual kiss....just a friendly one, ok?....lol )

[NoMercy]

Gosh.. I've no idea, Ummmm. I know the guy who does the PR for a couple of the best clubs in Brum, so we'd get to skip the queues if you're up for it.

[zzxxee]

the specials sang a song called to much toyoung think it sums you up honey xxx

you really need to slow down a bit cos for every one night stand you may feel better for the night but reality comes to bite you on the bum in the morning xxx

[ummmm]

Yeah NoM...we could crash at cazzzzz's house. I'm sure she wouldn't mind....lol

[NoMercy]

Well... I should have a place of my own. But it would be nice for Cazzz to come along.

I really must get on with things, I've got such a lot to do today. Catcha laters ! X

Bobs... you should get my email addy off Snags.

[bobjugs12]

Cheers NoM, take care and speak soon