Mummy Or Daddy Cast your vote!

[Foxymoron123]

2 years ago Mummy and Daddy split up.
Mummy met a new man. Daddy met a new woman.
Mummy and Daddy live in England. Daddy's girlfriend lives in Finland.
This year daddy wants to take Daughter (4) to Finland for christmas. Mummy doesn't want daughter to go because Christmas is a family time of year.
Daddy wants daughter to go because for the last 2 Christmases he has left England to go to Finland to be with girlfriend and has missed out seeing Daughter.
Daddy Says...
I have missed out on the last two years because I have gone to Finland. I enjoy xmas there and want to share the lovely experience I have there with my girlfriends family. The only reason why I can't have my daughter is because her mother doesn't want to be apart from her for xmas. I think my daughter would have a wonderful time in Finland. I want to take her for the 2 weeks over xmas and new year.
Mummy says...
Being separated parents means there is always compromise and sacrifice needed. I don't want my daughter to miss out on Christmas with her entire family and especially with me. I feel that Daddy chose to leave the country for those two years as he wanted to be with his girlfriend. I don't feel that walking away for 2 years justifies as a compromise for having her this year. I also know that Daddy's girlfriend has said she will never spend a christmas in England, refusing to acknowledge Daddy comes as a combined unit.

So who should Daughter spend Christmas with??

[divegirl]

Just to add. I agree with ummmm on the travel bit, but I'm sure he could travel on Boxing day!

[smartie733]

I think parents should take turn around. its only fair for the child as she would love christmas with both parents. Anything else is really just what the parent.

[lotsafun]

why cant the girlfriend come and stay with daddy in england rather than him go over to her???????????

[bobjugs12]

I'm gonna go with Dad on this.
Theres been a lot mentioned about the rights of the parents, but, honestly they don't matter. The overiding concern should be the child, and she would gain most by spending time with Daddy for this Christmas. If this is totally undoable, then how about little'un spends xmas with Dad and new years with Mum or vice-versa.

[China Doll]

Daddy this year and then next year with mummy and so on... This reads like the child is being used as a pawn.

[tamborine]

Xmas here is 1day & daddy should make an effort to spend it with d'ter at home....kids want to be acknowledged by Santa at their home.

[joeluke]

The Dad chooses to spend christmas in Finland with his girlfriend, if he spent it at home in England I'm sure his ex-Mrs would let their daughter spend christmas with him

Dads selfish girlfriend is pulling all the strings here, by vowing never to spend christmas in England she forces Dad to choose between spending christmas with her or with his daughter and he obviously chooses to spend it with her, so he can't be that desperate to spend christmas with his daughter after all can he?

[bobjugs12]

What do you think would be better:
Spending christams in Lapland, with snow and reindeer and Santa next door?
or
Spending christmas in Dudley (random town) with drizzle and the pet cat?

This could be the most magical christmas ever for the little girl. Stop basing this on parents needs, and he said/she said, and let the daughter have fun.




Also, does anybody know if the GF has kids herself, and the full story as to why she won't leave Finland.

[joeluke]

Fair points bj........let the child decide where she wants to spend christmas must be the solution then

[4getmenot]

the the girlfriend isnt the selfish one the dad is the one making the decision to stay with her. But yer the girlfriend may have her own children over there. Awww Bobjugs you can be so cute sometimes :-)

[bobjugs12]

I'm not cute 4get. I'm usually a grumpy sod. But in this case, I think the chance of having a white christmas with all the fun that would involve is too much to pass up. If I could afford it, i'd take my kids there

[tamborine]

Separation = who has the bigger purse, calls the shots & buys the kids favours....I dont think so !

[joeluke]

Actually the dad AND his girlfriend are both being selfish.........him for choosing to spend every christmas with her and her for not being flexible

[lonedad]

As you said, Christmas is family time and Daddy is little ones family. Daddy hasnt seen his daughter for the last 2 Christmas'. I would say let her spend Christmas with Daddy.
What Daddy and his girlfriend do, whether its a combined unit or not, is not your business.
Are you sure the problem doesnt lie with Mommys feelings toward Daddys feelings?

[chelle7272]

Both parents need to stop thinking about what they want and put the child first.
It could be great experience for her in Finland, and I do believe you should take an opportunity if it is there, for yourself or on behalf of your child.
I've been divorced 13 years and even though it hurts when he spends time at his dad's, especially in the holidays, it's what's best for my son.

[4getmenot]

we dont know that she expects him to go to hers, he may just go coz he wants to see his girlfriend more than the daughter. And bob I did say sometimes. lol lonedad hows the job hunting going?

[society]

Bobjugs has a point about the snow and white Christmas.

Child always spend Christmas with mum, it's only fair that dad get a turn to have child for Christmas. It would be and experience for child; if it turns out that she was unhappy spending Xmas at dad then ....

[joeluke]

....or maybe dad's new girlfriend has an ulterior motive too?

The selfish Scandanavian is definitely wearing the trousers here

[Greedyfly]

My parents divorced when I was very young. My mum had custody and dad would visit weekends and birthdays etc... Worked for us. As for christmas etc.. they would get together so I wouldn't miss either of them. I guess if this isn't possible in your situation then I would say the best thing is to share her time, or ask your daughter where she wants to be. I think dad deserves to see his daughetr at xmas just as you do, alternate years? I know it can't be easy spending christmas day without her ubt you could have another christmas before or after when she gets back.