Mummy Or Daddy Cast your vote!

[Foxymoron123]

2 years ago Mummy and Daddy split up.
Mummy met a new man. Daddy met a new woman.
Mummy and Daddy live in England. Daddy's girlfriend lives in Finland.
This year daddy wants to take Daughter (4) to Finland for christmas. Mummy doesn't want daughter to go because Christmas is a family time of year.
Daddy wants daughter to go because for the last 2 Christmases he has left England to go to Finland to be with girlfriend and has missed out seeing Daughter.
Daddy Says...
I have missed out on the last two years because I have gone to Finland. I enjoy xmas there and want to share the lovely experience I have there with my girlfriends family. The only reason why I can't have my daughter is because her mother doesn't want to be apart from her for xmas. I think my daughter would have a wonderful time in Finland. I want to take her for the 2 weeks over xmas and new year.
Mummy says...
Being separated parents means there is always compromise and sacrifice needed. I don't want my daughter to miss out on Christmas with her entire family and especially with me. I feel that Daddy chose to leave the country for those two years as he wanted to be with his girlfriend. I don't feel that walking away for 2 years justifies as a compromise for having her this year. I also know that Daddy's girlfriend has said she will never spend a christmas in England, refusing to acknowledge Daddy comes as a combined unit.

So who should Daughter spend Christmas with??

[merciasounds]

Daddy

[Foxymoron123]

@ Bobjugs. I'm glad because I wanted a little advice and felt I didn't get that from any of your judgemental posts.

@ Ummm I'm seeing from this site that there are regular posters and that would create a little team of people that would want to stand up for each other. But I don't feel anything I said was rude and hope no one else saw it that way.
Jackthehat's post (I read it as hate which in retrospect is pretty funny) was very accusatory. I merely stated his/her post seemed a little rude and that of course I didn't want to be apart from my daughter.
If you saw the 3rd person slant as being talked to as a 4 year old I'm sorry you felt that way. Initially we set up the post to look unbiased. I kept the trend going with my replies, that is all.
To everyone else that posted, thank you for your insight. We are both trying to work out a compromise. That is looking like allowing Daddy to actively take his daughter away from the rest of her entire family but for a shorter time. I'm also hoping that all of this raises some awareness in daddy's girlfriend that Daddy is a package deal and that being with him requires some sacrifice on her part too.

These situations are extremely difficult and emotionally dense. No one is right, no one is wrong and all the while you're trying to do your utter best for the child.
I recommend anyone finding this post in "similar" searches while posting to just keep protecting your children and doing what you feel is best.

It seems putting stuff like this to strangers leads to some very judgemental posts which can be quite annoying or upsetting and it seems quite a few suppositions fly about too! And although there were some helpful suggestions the unhelpful posts are not worth the hurt adding to an already upsetting situation.

[ummmm]

Fair enough. I read it as you calling her Jackthehate....if it was a mistake....so be. But I'm sure you now understand why I thought it.

[Dolly1308]

I ,personally ,would tell him to get lost .The child is 4 not 14 ,unable as yet to know what she really wants and anyway who is to know how she would feel if she decided she wanted her Mummy and Daddy said no you stay here till the fortnight is up .Too many men are only too willing to walk away with a younger partner these days if they get bored etc. No .I'm not feeling bitter ,'we've been married 60 years this year.

[joeluke]

So I was right after all, the Finnish girlfriend IS the crux of the problem

Thought so

[ummmm]

An upsetting situation?? If it's upsetting you that much just say NO.

[kat2206]

My husband and I split up in 1998 and about 5 years ago "we" decided that one year I have the boys for Xmas and he has them for New Yrs and the following year he has them for Xmas and I have them for New yrs... It works, its fair on everyone. The boys are now 20, 18 and 16 so dont see their dad very often now anyway but when they were little it worked great, plus as someones has said earlier in the post the kids also get 2 Xmas's which they think is GREAT!