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Jokes

Looking for a laugh? There are plenty of funny jokes being told on The AnswerBank, so sit back, relax and have a read.

321 to 340 of 2514

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Hazlinny

A Few From The Daily Rag

I was furious when I saw two men having a pee just next to my brand new car until they told me they were from the website
Weebyanycar.com If Benny and Bjorn from Abba hd been called Steve and... ...
13:10 Sat 21st Oct 20233 answers, last by Hazlinny 01:44 Thu 29th Aug 2024
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Rondy

The London Sights

My mate Jimmy visited London for a few days and went to see all the sights.
One day, he went on a guided tour of HMS Victory.
During the tour, the guide stopped the party and pointed to a raised... ...
10:57 Sat 21st Oct 20233 answers, last by zebo 13:43 Sat 21st Oct 2023
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Patsy33

Looking To Buy..

I'm looking to buy a lighthouse. Nothing too flashy..
13:12 Sat 21st Oct 20231 answer, last by Hazlinny 13:22 Sat 21st Oct 2023
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Rondy

There's More

Just tried Kangaroo flavoured beer.
You can really taste the hops! ___ My therapist says I need a woman in my life.
But all the women I know say I need a therapist. ___ We’ve got an old castle near our... ...
11:02 Sat 21st Oct 20232 answers, last by Patsy33 11:10 Sat 21st Oct 2023
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retrocop

Church Bulletins Are Back

  These sentences actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced at church services: The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.  Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other... ...
13:54 Fri 20th Oct 20236 answers, last by vulcan42 10:26 Sat 21st Oct 2023
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maggiebee

Blackpool

My friend George bought his wife a fur coat made out of 3,600 hamster skins and took her to Blackpool. He couldn't get her off the big wheel for two days....
10:05 Sat 21st Oct 20231 answer, last by Patsy33 10:08 Sat 21st Oct 2023
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Rondy

A Few More

A recent article in the Daily post reported that a man, Dave Harper has sued St Paul's hospital saying that after his wife had surgery there she had lost all interest in sex.
A hospital spokesman... ...
17:37 Thu 19th Oct 20235 answers, last by maggiebee 21:39 Thu 19th Oct 2023
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Rondy

And There's More

A thief in the butcher shop got charged with chop lifting.
Judge said he mutton do it again. ___ I asked my mum why she had a box of persil on top of her telly…..
Turns out she had no... ...
09:31 Thu 19th Oct 20231 answer, last by Patsy33 13:41 Thu 19th Oct 2023
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Chipchopper

Mutant

I once saw a dog without a nose. "Really, how did it smell?" Blinking terrible!
12:10 Thu 19th Oct 20231 answer, last by Patsy33 13:40 Thu 19th Oct 2023
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Chipchopper

K9 Kennel

A car slowed down along the street, the window rolled down, and a man shouted: "Do you the Battersea dogs home?" I shouted back, No, I didn't know he had been away!
12:23 Thu 19th Oct 20232 answers, last by Chipchopper 12:37 Thu 19th Oct 2023
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1ozzy

One Reason..

That some people hold themselves in high regard. https://ibb.co/GJbS3f7 ...
06:47 Thu 19th Oct 20233 answers, last by Chipchopper 07:20 Thu 19th Oct 2023
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1ozzy

One Reason..

..One shouldn't count their calories.  https://ibb.co/GdWJZ8n ...
05:35 Wed 18th Oct 20235 answers, last by Patsy33 17:36 Wed 18th Oct 2023
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Rondy

And There's More

Billy and John were given a toboggan for their birthday. After they had been out playing in the snow, Billy was in tears.
“Now, John,” said his father, “I told you to let Billy use the toboggan... ...
11:39 Wed 18th Oct 20234 answers, last by Canary42 12:04 Wed 18th Oct 2023
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1ozzy

Sorry..

..I couldn't resist https://ibb.co/f0nfyRC ...
07:59 Mon 16th Oct 20238 answers, last by dustypuss 18:53 Tue 17th Oct 2023
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Rondy

There's More

I'm off to the Chinese tonight and I'm having sweet and sour badger, with deep fried badger cubs.
It's a sett meal for one! ___ A man was arrested in Asda today for spraying domestos all over the... ...
11:07 Tue 17th Oct 20231 answer, last by Patsy33 11:24 Tue 17th Oct 2023
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Rondy

Naval Student

A young naval student was being put through the paces by an old sea captain.
"What would you do if a sudden storm sprang up on the starboard?"
"Throw out an anchor, sir," the student replied.
"What... ...
11:04 Tue 17th Oct 20231 answer, last by Patsy33 11:13 Tue 17th Oct 2023
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maggiebee

Dance

The man who invented the ballet dancers skirt was at a loss what to call it.  Then he put 2 and 2 together!
10:36 Tue 17th Oct 20233 answers, last by William51 10:46 Tue 17th Oct 2023
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William51

Knock, Knock.

Knock Knock. Whos there?. Tank. Tank who?. Youre welcome!.       Knock Knock. Whos there?. Wooden shoe. Wooden shoe who?. Wooden shoe like to know!.                                               ... ...
08:44 Tue 17th Oct 20231 answer, last by Moorea7 08:57 Tue 17th Oct 2023
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maggiebee

Weather

I wrote a play about the weather, and I got 5 actors dressed as clouds for the rehearsal. On the opening night, 6 clouds turned up. It was overcast.
10:43 Mon 16th Oct 20239 answers, last by maggiebee 17:11 Mon 16th Oct 2023
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Rondy

There's More

I stopped at a fast-food restaurant recently. I was fascinated by a sign which offered Fat-Free French Fries. I decided to give them a try.

I was dismayed when the clerk pulled a basket of fries... ...
11:44 Sun 15th Oct 20231 answer, last by William51 11:47 Sun 15th Oct 2023

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