In The Light Of This Desparation......
News3 mins ago
I went to buy a digital watch and the guy tried to sell me an analogue one. I said to him, "What is this, a wind up?" ___ My wife asked me what see should do with this bubble wrap? I said just pop... ...
My friend was in Canada and was attacked by a huge bear…
I'll spare you the grizzly details! ___ Spent all day horse riding…
It was great until I ran out of 50p coins! ___ I haven't renewed my... ...
I'll spare you the grizzly details! ___ Spent all day horse riding…
It was great until I ran out of 50p coins! ___ I haven't renewed my... ...
A real man would never stand there and watch his woman pay for anything. He would go out and wait in the car.
Two young guys were at a party in the woods with some friends, all drinking beer, when all of a sudden there was a tremendous storm with lots of thunder and rain.
The two of them ran through the... ...
The two of them ran through the... ...
They said on tv this morning that 20% of all driving accidents are cause by drunk drivers. That means that the other 80% are caused by drivers that are stone cold sober.
In other words If all... ...
In other words If all... ...
I’ve learned 99% of the English language.
I’m almost their. ___ I walked into a bank, pointed a long, thin piece of wood at the ceiling and shouted:
"This is a stick up!" ___ Yesterday I went rock... ...
I’m almost their. ___ I walked into a bank, pointed a long, thin piece of wood at the ceiling and shouted:
"This is a stick up!" ___ Yesterday I went rock... ...
Housework was a woman's job (?) but one evening, Maggie arrived home from work to find the children bathed, one load of laundry in the washer and another in the dryer. Dinner was on the cooker, and... ...
A bill collector knocked on the door of a country debtor.
"Is Fred home"? he asked the woman who answered the door.
"Sorry," the woman replied. "Fred's gone for cotton."
The next day, the collector... ...
"Is Fred home"? he asked the woman who answered the door.
"Sorry," the woman replied. "Fred's gone for cotton."
The next day, the collector... ...
The most quiet place I've ever lived was right above a Bowling Alley. It was so quiet you could here a pin drop..
You're welcome to drive out from Cairo and visit the Pyramids - when you arrive at the car park just toot and come in. ___ This guy walks into the local bar one Friday afternoon when he gets out of... ...
Today the temperature is just like Motown. Three degrees, four tops..
Both my mates are called William Hill - what are the odds! ___ I asked a librarian if they had any books on 'Different noise levels'.
The librarian said: "Sure!! What volume would you like?" ___ Who... ...
The librarian said: "Sure!! What volume would you like?" ___ Who... ...
I found a great site to order sausage on-line. For anyone interested, I'll send you a link..
Sound of Music on again. Don't know how many times I've watched it. Must be 16 going on 17..
Last night I told my wife I was feeling horny.
"Well, we can soon sort that out", she said with a wink, and slowly undressed.
flip me, she was right...
I stopped feeling horny immediately! ___ I was... ...
"Well, we can soon sort that out", she said with a wink, and slowly undressed.
flip me, she was right...
I stopped feeling horny immediately! ___ I was... ...
Two Irishmen walk into a pet shop in Dingle, they walk over to the bird section and Gerry says to Paddy, 'Dat's dem.' The owner comes over and asks if he can help them. 'Yeah, we'll take four of dem... ...
A guy with a 25 inch willy goes to the doctor and said "I can't live with this willy anymore! It's too long!". The doctor replied "go to the swamp and find a female frog and ask her to marry... ...
My careers officer in school asked me "what job can you see yourself doing?"
I said "mirror inspector" ___ A vicar visits a dentist for a new set of teeth. The first Sunday after he gets his new... ...
I said "mirror inspector" ___ A vicar visits a dentist for a new set of teeth. The first Sunday after he gets his new... ...
Sean, who was a commercial traveller many years ago, became lost on a strange road on a wild, cold, stormy night. His car broke down. He thought he was in for a terrible night staying in the car... ...
Not wanting to brag but, I have enough money saved, so I don't have to work for the rest of the year. ___ The other day, Robyn and I got into some petty argument. (I say it was petty. She would have... ...
