Yvette Cooper Wilfully Dodges The Point
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There's a fancy dress party. Also it's national 'Talk like a pirate week' A man goes to the fancy dress party "Who have you come as" asks the doorman "A pirate" states the potential guest "Where are...
Little Johnny sees his Daddy's car passing the playground and going into the woods. Curious, he follows the car and sees Daddy and Auntie Jane kissing. Johnny finds this so exciting and can barely...
I am addicted to brake fluid, but I can stop whenever I want....
A man goes to the doctors with an irritation. The doctor tells him the bad news, "I'm sorry th tell you that you've got a nasty case of Hermies." "Don't you mean Herpes," asks the man. "No..." replies...
A bloke goes for a job on board a cruise ship. The captain asks him if he has had any experience at sea. He says "No, but I'm honest." so the captain takes him on. Three weeks into the journey the...
I phoned the local ramblers club.
The guy who answered just went on and on....
A man getting along in years finds that he is unable to perform sexually. He finally goes to his doctor who tries a few things, but nothing seems to work. Eventually, as a last hope, the doctor refers...
A Welsh man is walking through a field, when he sees a man drinking water from a pool with his hand. The Welsh man shouts: "Paid a yfed y dwr mae'r gwartheg yn cachu yn y Dwr" (Don't drink the water,...
OCD. I've checked three or four hundred times, and I definitely don't have it.
A little Indian boy asked his father how Red Indian children got their names. The father said, "When your sister was born, I looked out of the tepee and saw an elk running so I called her Running Elk....
There was this Indian chief who was straining to blow a fart but it wouldn't come out. So he sent his little messenger boy to the doctor and he says, ''Big chief, no fart.'' The doctor gives him a can...
A group of third, fourth and fifth year school kids accompanied by two female teachers went on a school trip to the Chester racetrack to learn about thoroughbred horses and the racing industry. During...
The Conservative Cookbook: 5 simple meals struggling plebs can make for under 50p The following are the top five recipes in the new Conservative Cookbook, coming soon to all good bookshops” Boris’ Big...
There once was a toad that was excluded from all Green Toad activities because he was a handsome shade of yellow. So he went to visit a beautiful fairy in the town who had the power to grant wishes....
MY PRIVATE PART DIED An old man, Mr.. Wallace, was living in a nursing home. One day he appeared to be very sad and depressed. Nurse Tracy asked him if there was anything wrong, 'Yes, Nurse Tracy ,'...
A wee boy asks "What's love juice Dad?" His Dad starts panicking and sits him down and starts to tell him about the birds and the bees. A little while later Dad asks "Exactly which programmes have you...
My new girlfriend asked me what I do for a job, and I told her I work in a bowling alley.
She said "Ten pin?"
"No, it's a permanent position" I told her....
Congratulations to Ukraine for winning the 2022 competition next week.
In Jerusalem, a journalist heard about a very old Jewish man who had been going to the Wailing Wall to pray, twice a day, everyday, for a long, long time. So she went to the Wailing Wall to check it...
When we divorced, my first wife wanted a present.
"Anything, I said, how about something that goes from 0 to 160 in 3 seconds?"
"Great," she said
I bought her some bathroom scales....
